"The Love Dare" anyone else done it/doing it?

revitalizedhusband · 02-09-2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by humpty dumpty

You have found something that works for you and your wife, thats great !! i wouldnt stop at 40 days though

.I do think in marriage after you have been married a while you kinda forget to say i love you and the hugs and kisses stop a bit , im guessing that the program reminds you to put some zest into your marriage, and yes any extra attention spills over to the bedroom win win situation

If you haven't seen the movie Fireproof and still want to, stop reading, spoiler alert...

Exactly, if you watched the movie, when the wife finally found out what he was doing (found the book), she asked him what day he was on and he said "43". She said "but there's only 40?", to which he replied "who says I have to stop?"

That's what we plan on doing.

revitalizedhusband · 02-09-2009, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snix11

Take it easy bible thumper, nobody is dissin yer zombie

If it brings you closer to love, whatever the reason, by all means do it.

Who said anything about "bible thumper", someone said something that WAS "dissing" without ever reading the book, and I corrected them, that the book doesn't tell you to rely on God at all, that it tells you what you should work on in your own life to help your marriage.

Wow, can't come to the spirituality forum and talk about religion huh? I know I'm new but figured this was the one place that people COULD talk about that.

revitalizedhusband · 02-10-2009, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy22

You can come here and talk about it. Just realize that others can come here and talk about their beliefs as well. Expect criticism. You are welcome to give your own criticism as well. Everyone just needs to remember to be respectful.

I agree the term "bible thumper" was a bit derogatory.

Criticism is fine, but because I gave it back I'm a "Bible thumper", sounds like someone really has an issue with anyone who believes different from them.

And people say Christians are the narrow minded ones...

Chris H. · 02-10-2009, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by revitalizedhusband

Wow, can't come to the spirituality forum and talk about religion huh? I know I'm new but figured this was the one place that people COULD talk about that.

Your right, this IS the place to talk about it.

sarah.rslp · 02-10-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris H.

Your right, this IS the place to talk about it.

Of course its the right place to talk about it, but you have to be aware that people are free to challenge your views.

snix11 · 02-10-2009, 11:30 AM

oh my goodness

Can we get off the 'religion' tangent and back on to the love dare topic?

It sounds very cute... I agree that if you are on day 43 you've gotten the message and 'graduated'

I'm working on a "Mort" list right now... it's helping a little. Hopefully it will eventually help quite a bit.

More stories on how this works for people. We need success stories here!

revitalizedhusband · 02-10-2009, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah.rslp

Of course its the right place to talk about it, but you have to be aware that people are free to challenge your views.

Challenging the views was fine, I responded to that challenge and stated what the book actually covers/says.

The next post was basically "shut up Bible thumper nobody is dissin' your zombie".

I was respectful in my reply to the challenge, that was completely disrespectful.

Like I said, sometimes non-Christians paint the narrow minded view on Christians when themselves are the first to "jump" at someone who doesn't share THEIR belief system. Kind of paradoxical huh?

Back on topic, its a good book that shows some basic principles a marriage should stand by. It does use Bible versus to backup these ideas but never says to just pray and rely on the "zombie" to fix your marriage, it says YOU have to fix your marriage.

revitalizedhusband · 02-10-2009, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snix11

oh my goodness

Can we get off the 'religion' tangent and back on to the love dare topic?

It sounds very cute... I agree that if you are on day 43 you've gotten the message and 'graduated'

I'm working on a "Mort" list right now... it's helping a little. Hopefully it will eventually help quite a bit.

More stories on how this works for people. We need success stories here!

I'm unfamiliar with a "Mort" list, what are you talking about and how has it helped?

sarah.rslp · 02-10-2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by revitalizedhusband

Challenging the views was fine, I responded to that challenge and stated what the book actually covers/says.

The next post was basically "shut up Bible thumper nobody is dissin' your zombie".

I was respectful in my reply to the challenge, that was completely disrespectful.

Like I said, sometimes non-Christians paint the narrow minded view on Christians when themselves are the first to "jump" at someone who doesn't share THEIR belief system. Kind of paradoxical huh?

Back on topic, its a good book that shows some basic principles a marriage should stand by. It does use Bible versus to backup these ideas but never says to just pray and rely on the "zombie" to fix your marriage, it says YOU have to fix your marriage.

You got hostile well before he referred to the Zombie, so don't use that as an excuse.

My arguement is that the book comes from an evangelical christian base, and that the objective is promoting christianity through offering marraige guidance. Marraige guidance which is pretty generic.

snix11 · 02-11-2009, 01:20 AM

Yeah! That Bloody guy referring to zombies. who is that guy! stone him

Mort list - Mort Fertel... he's got a banner ad on this site.. scroll up to the top of the page.

Here is part of a list I got thru an email from him:

1. Express confidence in one of your spouse's decisions
2. Share dessert with one fork
3. What was "your song" when you were dating? Call your spouse and sing it to them.
4. Surprise visit your spouse at their office or home and give them a kiss... and then leave.
5. Play footsie next time you sit together
6. Learn a new joke today and share it with your spouse
7. Ask how your spouse's day went... and really listen
8. Kiss your spouse upon waking
9. Kiss your spouse before sleeping
10. Caress your spouse's hand
11. Touch your spouse's cheek or hand while driving
12. Rub shoulders next time you sit next to each other
13. Sit on your spouse's lap or sit them on yours
14. Compliment something your spouse is wearing
15. Call your spouse out of the blue to let them know you are thinking of them
16. Give your spouse a neck or shoulder massage
17. Share a story from the news or your day that you thought was interesting
18. What about dancing before dinner? No one's looking.
19. Tell your spouse that if you had to do it all over again, you'd choose them
20. Share a problem - thank your spouse for their concern
21. Play with your spouse's hair while talking in bed
22. Fall asleep holding hands
23. Remind your spouse to drive safely next time they leave the house
24. Call your spouse at work with the latest news.
25. Have a tickle "fight"
26. Say "I'm sorry" about a mistake you recently made
27. Think of 3 ways your spouse has made you a better person ... tell them now
28. Compliment your spouse on your favorite physical trait
29. Play Twister and let yourself laugh out loud
30. Look at your spouse when they are unaware of your gaze ... share your feelings
31. Share what you most admire about your spouse
32. Have a "remember when?" moment.
33. Thank your spouse for helping you through a challenging time in your life
34. Find a reason to touch your spouse when you are in the same room
35. Dig out the wedding album and reminisce
36. Hold hands under the table
37. Brush your mate's hair out of his/her eyes
38. Straighten his tie, being sure to touch him with love
39. Button or zip her dress, being sure to touch her with love
40. Knead the same dough together
41. Kiss in the elevator when no one is looking
42. Express confidence in your spouse's ability to overcome a problem
43. Listen to your spouse's worries - ask how you can help
44. Make your spouse's lunch for the day ... deliver it with a kiss
45. Send your spouse a fax with your special "code words" for I Love You! - sent txt message
46. Turn off your spouse's alarm clock...wake them with a massage
47. Kiss the back of your spouse's neck while he/she is reading – every night I do this
48. Before parting, tell your spouse you can't wait to see him/her again
49. An extra hug for no reason at all never hurt anyone
50. "Spoon" your mate while sleeping

I'm working my way thru the list. So far this month i've done 39 of them. 6 of them don't apply. That leaves only 5 on my 'to do' list. Not bad for the 10th

and yes, it's helping. I'm pulling out all the romance stops and he's being nicer. Not romantic mind you, but nicer. smiling more.

I've declared Feb the month o love around our place and i'm doing everything I can to be as romantic, loving, sexy, fun etc as I can.

GAsoccerman · 02-11-2009, 02:11 AM

Revitalized...

Glad you and your wife found something that is working for you.

I live in Georgia and I see the movie in theeaters and around local churches here as I drive to work.

This movie has helped alot of people and save their marriages.

It reconfirms why they got married in the first place and anything good is worth fighting for.

Glad you are doing well, now keep going...

revitalizedhusband · 02-11-2009, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah.rslp

You got hostile well before he referred to the Zombie, so don't use that as an excuse.

My arguement is that the book comes from an evangelical christian base, and that the objective is promoting christianity through offering marraige guidance. Marraige guidance which is pretty generic.

Hostility is now correcting someone when they say the book says one thing that it really doesn't?

You also basically insinuated that those reading the book are relying on "some god" to fix their marriage and not themselves, which is totally false since the book is about what you need to change about yourself, it just used Bible versus to emphasize the point.

If correcting your wrong assumption was "hostile" then wow.

I'm going to check out the Mort list as well, sounds like it would be beneficial.

onlylonelyone · 02-12-2009, 06:22 AM

I'm going to buy it......Sounds like a good book to me. Thanks for posting about it.

revitalizedhusband · 02-12-2009, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlylonelyone

I'm going to buy it......Sounds like a good book to me. Thanks for posting about it.

No problem

humpty dumpty · 02-12-2009, 01:06 PM

I think im going to buy a copy to , it sounds good i do try hard to go out of my way to do and say nice things to my hubbie daily but sounds like a good read.