1. Realizing your spouse is not perfect and will never be perfect, but just like Jesus loves us as imperfect humans, we have to learn to love our spouse unconditionally as an imperfect human.
2. Lust/attraction are feelings, love is a choice. You have to choose to show love to your spouse every day, regardless of how you are feeling that day.
3. Be willing to do things, kind things, buy things, give in to your spouses side of an argument even if you feel you are right, etc EVEN if your spouse doesn't deserve it.
Basically its 40 days of devotions that don't take long to read, only 2-4 pages with a couple verses in there to reinforce the days topic.
Each day's topic starts off with "Love is...", day 1 is patient, day 2 is kind, there is a toughtful, faithful, etc 40 different things that love "is". The short devotional is about how that particular way of showing love (being kind, patient, etc) affects your marriage, both good and bad.
Then, at the end of the daily devotion, there is a "dare" that you have to complete that day and some space to write about what you did and how your spouse reacted to it.
Some days are "easy" to complete, some really are not. But in the end I can't see how it couldn't help all marriages.
I know about 50 different couples doing it right now, many at our church, many in my family, etc and ALL of them have had great results so far.
Glad to hear that people are having good results from this program. I have just ordered the " dare " book and will begin as soon as I have recieved it. I truly hope it can work for me and my marriage.
Eh? it was okay but common sense, some people need to be reminded I guess. It wasn't for me though.
draconis
Common sense, yes...but as humans we sometimes don't do what we know we should do right?
I mean the Bible is full of 'common sense' stuff, but you wouldn't say "its not for me" just because its full of common sense.
Romans 7:19-20 says this perfectly...
19For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me
We always know the right thing to do, but don't always do it. Sometimes a book, like the Bible or like the Love Dare, can reinforce the right thing to do and help you remember to actually do it.
1-Patience-Resolve to demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose to say nothing at all.
2-Kindness-Do at least 1 unexpected gesture of kindness, that is out of the ordinary for your spouse today.
5-Rudeness-Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
7-Believe the best-Get two sheets of paper, on the first sheet write out all positive things about your spouse. Do the same with negative things on the second one. Put them in a secret place as they will be used later on. Pick one from the positive list and thank your spouse for that trait today.
13-Fights fair-Set up, with your spouse, ground rules that when you are in a disagreement you don't break those rules in order to not say/do something you regret. Resolve with your spouse to abide by these rules the next time you have a fight.
That's a small sampling as I'm not supposed to read ahead and I'm only on day 13.
I understand as you go down the road some get harder and more in depth, some are sexual, some emotional, some just the way we treat each other. It really covers all aspects of marriage in 40 days from what I understand.
The book comes loose to the movie fire proof. As a book I feel it fell short and was full of fluff. I have read many books with the same advic that had more to them. If it works for you by all means do it.
Thanks for sharing Im in the uk and havent heard of the program before.
It sounds interesting, and getting positive results for your marriage to.
Enjoy
I have heard about it, but there are crticisms that its more interested in promoting religion than saving marraiges. The steps sound pretty generic to a hundred other self help books on the market, at the end of the day if you want to look after your marraige you have to do it yourself not look to some god to do it for you.
I have heard about it, but there are crticisms that its more interested in promoting religion than saving marraiges. The steps sound pretty generic to a hundred other self help books on the market, at the end of the day if you want to look after your marraige you have to do it yourself not look to some god to do it for you.
Who said ANYTHING about "some god" doing it for "you" or us?
The book doesn't say a dang thing about God doing anything FOR you in your marriage. It uses Bible versus to backup what it says you should do each day, but never says "God will do this", it says YOU have to do this or do that to make your marriage work.
Everything in the book is about what YOU can change/do about the way you react to/treat your spouse, it never says a word about looking to God to do anything for you.
You seem to have an issue with someone mentioning God and their marriage together, if that is true then why come to the "Marriage and Spirituality" forum at all? Doesn't make much sense to me, but whatever.
You have found something that works for you and your wife, thats great !! i wouldnt stop at 40 days though .I do think in marriage after you have been married a while you kinda forget to say i love you and the hugs and kisses stop a bit , im guessing that the program reminds you to put some zest into your marriage, and yes any extra attention spills over to the bedroom win win situation
"The Love Dare" anyone else done it/doing it? 
Im in the uk and havent heard of the program before.
