Wife found religion
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Old 03-03-2012, 09:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife found religion

We have been married for 24 years. I thought after all of that time I knew who she was. Now I don't. I am so confused. She was never religious and I have always been agnostic. Well two months ago she says she was saved. Now she is constantly on this. Reading the Bible 24hrs a day. Watching religious shows and Internet programs. She says she has been considering this for the last four years. Where was I? She says she can't talk to me about this. But she can talk to others. She has become secretive. I have never been anti religion but religion is becoming anti me. She says it is her choice and will not affect our family but it already has.
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Old 03-03-2012, 09:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife found religion

Tough situation.

She be counselled to leave you...something about oxen and uneven yolks ...or some such nonsense.

Some people go through new found religions like drugs and burn out quickly and some become addicted for life.



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Old 03-03-2012, 09:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Well I believe and am very spiritual and I do remember days where I really hurt hubby's feeling telling him I wish he was more of a spiritual leader. I now realize how unfair I was to say that, the man works way too many hours and when we were married we were evenly yolked.. Not his fault that I got more involved with praying and reading the bible. What I love about him is that he doesn't stop me from what I do and I don't push him into anything..Good luck to ya
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Old 03-03-2012, 09:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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meant to say when we first got married we were evenly yolked...Yes we are still married..20 yrs!
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Old 03-03-2012, 09:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I wish I understood what she is looking far. And what is lacking in me that I could not give it to her. I can not join her in this. It is against my convictions. If this is God's plan I am not impressed or likely to convert.
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Old 03-04-2012, 12:22 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife found religion

Moses had a Non-Jewish Wife..still God was fine with him...

Esther became the queen of a Non-Jewish King..

So whats it regard to her being some Religious stuff..?


Where is religion in these Two great commandments..?

Love your God , with all your might ,soul,mind etc

Love your neighbour as Your-self..

Is it Christian or Jewish or Agnostic or Atheistic..?

It's simply Divinity and Humanity...

Moreover many a wife and husband had Non-Christian spouses during the emergence of Christianity...
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Old 03-04-2012, 07:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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It is not so much religion as it is this major change in who she is. It is the way she has cut me out of what seems to me is a major change in the way she sees the world. I can't seem to get past the fact that she hid this from me for years. I can't get past the fact that she continues to hide her thoughts and feelings from me. I see religion taking her away from me and our children. Religion isn't necessarily bad but obsession in anything is.
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Tireless View Post
It is not so much religion as it is this major change in who she is. It is the way she has cut me out of what seems to me is a major change in the way she sees the world. I can't seem to get past the fact that she hid this from me for years. I can't get past the fact that she continues to hide her thoughts and feelings from me. I see religion taking her away from me and our children. Religion isn't necessarily bad but obsession in anything is.
Question - who is leading her spiritually? More specifically is there a "man" of god involved.

secrecy isn't typically part of religion - especially not christian religion.
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:13 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Question - who is leading her spiritually? More specifically is there a "man" of god involved.

secrecy isn't typically part of religion - especially not christian religion.
Perhaps not in theory, but just like everyone else infidelity and divorce is part of the reality of christian marriages even among those professing to be saved.
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:26 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife found religion

". . . A wife is not to depart from her husband . . . And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him." (Taken from 1 Corinthians 7)

In any case, how was your marriage before this? Why does she say she can't talk to you about it? That statement flies in the face of the Bible's teachings about sharing the Gospel. She is, in fact, required to talk to you about it.
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
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There is no man involved. I do not fear her fidelity physically. The one who has led this crusade is a female friend. She says she can't talk to me about it because I do not believe. Our marriage has been strong. I lost my job a few months ago and had to move the family to go back to work. I wonder if this dislocation from a place and people she loved has a lot to do with this. She swears she does not blame me but I am not sure.
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Old 03-04-2012, 06:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Under times of stress people often reach for that 'fix' to make themselves feel better. And while I am a believer I have seen many people use religion as that crutch. Its the stuff cults are made of quite honestly.

That said I absolutely think the move has triggered this.

I'm with Lionel either this is a phase and it burns itself out or it becomes her new drug and she is addicted for life. The part where she says she can't talk to you and is secretive is bad bad bad. Some of the worst sinners out there can be found in church. Don't kid yourself.

My sincere advice would be to talk to someone anyone on how to get your wife to open up about her new life before it's too late. Even if you don't believe you need to know what's going on. You need to be a part of this. Resenting her for it will only drive her farther away.
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife found religion

Maybe she feels she can't talk to you about it because you're not willing to listen. I mean look at it like this. She has this experience, that whether or not you believe in it, is important to her. How you respond to that will make all the difference.

One of the hard things about relationships like this is that she is going to be VERY excited about it, and the more you hear about it, the more you're going to resent it. She's probably trying to do the right thing by not bothering you and talking about it 24/7, but it's probably what she wants to do.

Look at it from her point of view, she's found something really exciting and she would love to share it with you and let you be a part of it, but she knows you aren't interested.

I'm not sure I know what the "right" thing to do is, but I know as your wife, with someone who found something important to her, it's probably important that you be at least willing to talk to her about it and show genuine interest that she has found something special. You CAN do that without proclaiming your undying love for God.

Think of it like the dad who goes to his daughter's boy band concert. He's not going to get a tattoo of Justin Bieber, he's there to show that he cares enough about her interests to get involved, even though he's not really into it.
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Old 03-06-2012, 11:01 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife found religion

@Tireless


one step sloution


it is the natural truth that with the passage of time every human slowly slowly dislike the pleasures of life. he or she want to relaxe and tention free life , so don't worry about the attitude of your wife

write follwoing question on a page or memo and then presented him to your wife

1- who is the founder of this world?
2- who is the jesus the christ?
3- what is the relation between God and jesus?
4- whether jesus come back in this world?
5- when will the end of this world?
6- what is the message of bible?


when you will ask above mentioned question she will be surprised about your knowledge and ready to talk with you.

don't worry about her religious views , religious people never be corrupt

regard
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Old 03-06-2012, 12:11 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by COguy View Post
Maybe she feels she can't talk to you about it because you're not willing to listen. I mean look at it like this. She has this experience, that whether or not you believe in it, is important to her. How you respond to that will make all the difference.

One of the hard things about relationships like this is that she is going to be VERY excited about it, and the more you hear about it, the more you're going to resent it. She's probably trying to do the right thing by not bothering you and talking about it 24/7, but it's probably what she wants to do.

Look at it from her point of view, she's found something really exciting and she would love to share it with you and let you be a part of it, but she knows you aren't interested.

I'm not sure I know what the "right" thing to do is, but I know as your wife, with someone who found something important to her, it's probably important that you be at least willing to talk to her about it and show genuine interest that she has found something special. You CAN do that without proclaiming your undying love for God.

Think of it like the dad who goes to his daughter's boy band concert. He's not going to get a tattoo of Justin Bieber, he's there to show that he cares enough about her interests to get involved, even though he's not really into it.
That is one of the issues. I offered to attend church with her and listen with an open mind. I offered to read any books she might suggest that would give me an insight into what she believes. I can't change the way I feel about religion but I can listen. She says that by my asking questions about what she believes I am pushing her. I grew up in the church. I would dare to say that I have read more of the Bible than most Christians. So even though I don't believe, I can carry on an intelligent conversation about what the Bible says and what I think it means.
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