choco

My hub got an engagement party invitation from his ex-girl. Her family and his ex called him to join. So, he was willing to go and one day I saw a red envelop on his table and then open in front of him and saw her name on it, then said “un…well” and he told me he wanna go because 1)She joined us too 2)She gave us red envelop as present 3)Her family and he ex hope he and me join them. I was very angry as 1) I saw the amount his ex gave him from the gift record and asked him on our wedding if she was in our wedding party, but he answered “no, she just asked her friend to send the gift”. So, obviously he lied to me, but forgot what he replied to me on our wedding. 2) He can ask his friend to send the gift back as return, but he answered “no body he knew could help him for this” 3)what the hell he had to fulfill his hope?

After reading this, I believe you may think me too over, but this is not just that matter.
First, when we were dating my hub told me how many love he gave her and she was her first lover. They made love…like a couple and my husband even asked her mom to go to her family for proposal, and she refused and my husband would like to wait for her because he thought she may be too young (she was 21) to get married. But, she answered “Let them apart for 6 months and don’t get any connection”. My hub was said and had ever tried to get her back within 6 months, but she refused to receive his call and answer the door. My hub finally left his hometown and then we met in another city, which is just 1 hour driving distance in between.

Here is the story, I can understand how sorry he felt and how deep this love in his heart. She was his first ever and no-one could replace the space. Even when we made love he said his feeling was back and he miss it and like it. That was the time I know I wasn’t his first one who can offer him such love.

You know how hard my heart was hurt psychically and physically?

I told me I would never go with him and I didn’t like this presence in her wedding because they’re not only pure love and that would hurt both his current hub and me. Then finally the ending was I said I could send red envelop for him and took her wedding picture, which is free to be taken on the greeting table of a restaurant entrance.

I know how treasure he was eager to see her as a bride. I said one time: I’ll take them to the trash can after you see those pictures.

What do you think about taking them into the trash can? I just don’t want him to think about her and their past story and hope things would end ever after.

PooDoo

You are a saint. What good would come from him going to the engagement party/wedding? I just see more hurt for you and her new husband. He took a vow to forsake all others when he married you - right? It doesn't sound like he is completely over her yet. I understand this (and sounds like you do to), but he should think more of your feelings now and your future together. No good will come from him having any contact with her or her family. He should know this may cause serious damage to your marriage down the road (trust issues!). It's good that you are able to freeely talk about all this with your h, so let him know how you feel. He seems like an understanding guy and hopefully he will decide on his own that the past is just that (the past) - and his future is exclusively with you. I'd try to convince him to throw it away - he needs to move on. What would he think if you acted the same way toward an ex-flame? I'd bet he would think differently.