The Head of the House - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-02-2013, 12:13 AM
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Re: The Head of the House

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The major thrust of this little monologue, however, lies in the first thing I quoted, "Husbands are the head of the home." Most translations say that the husband is the head of the wife. The sad part of people using this quote to justify themselves is an ALL TOO COMMON case of "screw the context".
If it really has to be like this, then this is how I see it.

The husband might be ON PAPER the captain of his marriage... but there's a lot of delegation which needs to devolve on his XO, his wife. For most intents and purposes the wife runs everything... but the husband retains only a few emergency powers and those are to be used extremely rarely.

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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-04-2013, 08:30 PM
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Re: The Head of the House

I guess I do see dh as responsible for our family. He is the one who asked me to marry him, after all. And the kids and I have his name, which to me means that we belong to him.

I do feel like I have to go with his program, but in exchange he gives me much love and protection. It really is a mutually beneficial relationship.
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-09-2013, 08:01 PM
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Re: The Head of the House

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I guess I do see dh as responsible for our family. He is the one who asked me to marry him, after all. And the kids and I have his name, which to me means that we belong to him.

I do feel like I have to go with his program, but in exchange he gives me much love and protection. It really is a mutually beneficial relationship.
I know I'm not in charge of my wife. I wouldn't dare entertain that presumption. I think my wife is in charge of the daily routine and the social calendar. She's also great at finances too. I mostly look at what we're doing long-term, I do the taxes, and she says I'm far nicer to bureaucrats than she is so I handle all the red tape.
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-11-2013, 04:47 AM
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Re: The Head of the House

The main thing is to have a happy marriage. Each couple may have their own variation on how to get and stay happy.
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 07-12-2014, 09:26 AM
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Re: The Head of the House

DH and I aren't religious people, but this is how we do things. It's just how we are naturally, we've had long discussions about what this means.

I'm naturally a quiet and submissive person, I'm not a doormat and I have opinions. I let the opinions be known at the appropriate time. When things were good, he earned the money and I stayed at home. I ask him about money things because I don't handle that. I don't ask if I can go somewhere, but I do let him know if it's something he should know so he doesn't worry.

He isn't doing so well and I want to help him, I'm not going to leave him just because he isn't doing what he thinks that he should be doing. I'm not going to withhold anything from him because he can't fulfill obligations to me. He wants to and he is trying which is all that I need. There was a time when he was a huge jerk and it made me think twice about still giving my all.

I think whomever is capable of being the "head" should be, we don't have to have specific roles anymore. If the woman is earning more money and the man wants to stay at home and take care of things, so be it. Or maybe there isn't just one that is the head..whatever works!

Submission is a strong word and kind of touchy on the surface. I think it's more of giving yourself willingly to each other. Whatever that means to each other, but you should feel so comfortable that it just comes naturally.
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