How kinky are Born-Agains?? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-12-2012, 10:21 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by DaKarmaTrain! View Post
Thank you for your response Maricha75. Third, fourth parties would be absolutely out of the question here as well.

In terms of the role-playing, I didn't mean to suggest specifically identifying with a specific person in a fantasy (like you said an actor/actress etc) but as an unindentifiable non-person? Would it still be sinful to pretend to be the naughty nurse servicing a terminally ill patient without pretending to be anyone other than yourselves?

Maybe just an IMO, but interesting nonetheless.
This is what my husband and I do. We create fictitious people, sometimes who even have our names, and play out dates and such. It's fun. Hubs doesn't care much for it, since he doesn't think he's a good actor. I love it though.

Also, mutual masturbation is a heck yes for us.


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post #17 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-20-2012, 11:08 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by sandc View Post
There is no biblical reason for her to withhold any type of sex from you, assuming you marry.
This. There're verses that actually backs this philosophy up.
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The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations...
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (NLT)
Sexual preferences really depend on personal values of the person in question. I think this is generally molded by the individual church that person goes to, since there are Believers out there that just accept what others in the church say without challenging it.

But no, there is no biblical reason for withholding sex, and just about everything else is acceptable at the discretion of the couple.

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post #18 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 12:27 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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There is not one way of thinking for all who consider themselves 'born again'. Your best bet is to dicuss this with a woman before you get too far down the road to marriage.

Do not assume. For example do not assume that non-born again women enage in anal sex.. very few women will engage is it. It's not as common as porn will lead you to believe.

Each woman is her own person.. so ask her.
I have been with 4 women in my lifetime and not one would even consider anything that had to with anal sex, and I have heard of many other women who refused to as well so you are right about that I believe.
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post #19 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 02:01 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

I just want to drive this point home. I am assuming in this scenario that at least YOU were sexually active at one point in your life or another.

Communication is going to be the key here. The rest is not relevant. You need to be able to discuss everything. In my mind a woman who cannot communicate sex openly is probably going to have more barriers then the norm. YMMV and yes when they become active that all might change.

Really its a crapshoot, but if the person you are "into" is very open, honest, and really excited/willing to try anything then you have a potential gold mine.
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post #20 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-21-2012, 11:25 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by Dr. Rockstar View Post
This. There're verses that actually backs this philosophy up. Sexual preferences really depend on personal values of the person in question. I think this is generally molded by the individual church that person goes to, since there are Believers out there that just accept what others in the church say without challenging it.

But no, there is no biblical reason for withholding sex, and just about everything else is acceptable at the discretion of the couple.
Totally agree.

Unfortunately, many people choose to ignore this part of Scripture in their marriage. Some allege that sex is commanded only for lack of self control, and thus the solution is to tame one's sexual urges instead of expecting release (which is misreading the relevant passages). Some wives, notably, say that the command to love your wife as Christ loves the church means you cannot press her on sex (again, not true).

The way to handle this is exactly the same as in the secular realm. You make your needs and expectations known beforehand, along with a clear message that those will be ongoing, not temporary and not a "phase".
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post #21 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 02:56 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Totally agree.

Unfortunately, many people choose to ignore this part of Scripture in their marriage. Some allege that sex is commanded only for lack of self control, and thus the solution is to tame one's sexual urges instead of expecting release (which is misreading the relevant passages). Some wives, notably, say that the command to love your wife as Christ loves the church means you cannot press her on sex (again, not true).

The way to handle this is exactly the same as in the secular realm. You make your needs and expectations known beforehand, along with a clear message that those will be ongoing, not temporary and not a "phase".
I can't tell you how many times I have seen that this is true. Biblically speaking, the women I have known who fight against the importance of sex in a marriage use the verse where Paul says it's better not to marry unless one burns with passion. Which is a complete misinterpretation of that verse.

In actuality, sexual relations between a husband and a wife is incredibly encouraged in the Bible. Moreover it is said not to deny one another.

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post #22 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 05:42 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

Many saved people I've met were ex biker ex street person types so being kind of freaky came naturally to them.

Is there such thing as insanity among penguins? - Werner Herzog
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post #23 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 09:07 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

Perhaps this might help, OP:- Permitted or Prohibited: Bible Principles for Sex Practices

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
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post #24 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-27-2012, 03:01 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

I think the worst part of the "sex only for breeding" mindset isn't the women who close off relations, but their men taking Ephesians 5:25 too literally. They read 'submit to your husbands,' and think that means submit in every occasion, including sex. These husbands expect that their women will give them sex whenever the man needs it, however he needs it, whether she wants to or not. In their minds, the don't care if the woman has any say in it, nor do they care if they enjoy it.

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post #25 of 93 (permalink) Old 02-08-2013, 05:52 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by DaKarmaTrain! View Post
...But what about oral/anal sex? Mutual masterbation? For instance would a really strong Christian wife be against anal sex with the sin of sodomy in the bible and what not? What about role-playing? Would that be considered sinful as the two of you are pretending to be people you are not, and in effect, lusting after someone else and commiting adultery/fornication in your heart etc etc etc?

Or in a marriage is it a free-for-all in terms of what you and your wife can/can't do in the marital bed?
IMHO,
Oral sex is not prohibited in the Bible. Several Denton, TX pastors teach a study in the Song of Solomon (youtube) which is supposedly sprinkled with oral sex euphemisms. If you want to watch Bible teacher nearly go in cardiac arrest suggest Song of Solomon as the next book to study.

Masturbation is not prohibited in the Bible. What is prohibited is fantasizing sexual relations with someone other than your spouse while masturbating or any other time. The Bible specifics certain sexual acts as sin. No where in the Bible is masturbation mentioned. God did not "forget" to prohibit masturbation let alone mention it. And no HE was not vocabulary limited. The sin of Onan often used (inaccurately) as an anti-masturbation reference was the sin of disobedience.

Regarding a statement like this,
"Masturbation is almost invariably sinful because it will be coupled with lustful thoughts."

I am often tempted to ask,
"Sir are you speaking from experience?"

Regarding anal sex. Sodom's first sin was the way they treated strangers coming to their town. The threat of men gang raping two strangers was the specific sin. IMHO if the wife says anal is OK, it is OK. (My wife (a virgin) suggested anal on our 2nd night of the honeymoon due to soreness. We tired it but I wasn't invited back .)

Regarding Christians and sex, if it is legal we do it and many do it with great vigor!

What the Bible says and what some folks wish it said are often quite different.

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post #26 of 93 (permalink) Old 02-14-2013, 03:07 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

Whatever you do, TALK, DISCUSS these concerns BEFORE marriage. If not you are going to be posting in another thread about how fed up you are because your partner doesn't do this or that.

In the other hand... Please, Please do not let these religious, sometimes man-interpreted guilt ruin your marriage. I know of women that were taught not to act freakish in the bedroom because they were expected to act like they were doing it in the sanctuary!!!

As long as you and your spouse communicate and agree, go on and be as freaky as your heart desire.
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post #27 of 93 (permalink) Old 02-20-2013, 08:38 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

I agree with Sweetmaya. Unfortunately for many Christians like myself who remain abstinent before marriage, we can't really talk about what we'd like to see in the bedroom because we simply don't know what we like. For me it turned out that my wife, who had more experience than I, preferred plain vanilla sex, while I wanted to be more experimental. That's frustrated me a lot over the years (just check out some of the threads I've started). There are a lot of times when I wish I did have sex before marriage, just so I could have enough experience to have that discussion with my wife.

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post #28 of 93 (permalink) Old 02-21-2013, 11:01 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

DaKarmaTrain!

She is obviously fallen enough as a Christian to marry you. Then she is willing to follow you into sexual desire. Three simple biblical boundaries:

1. Keep it between the two of you only.
2. Keep it respectful, meaning mutually desirable, meaning without dishonor to one another.
3. Do not deny one another, meaning making sex a weapon.
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post #29 of 93 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 04:21 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

All is well within the confines of your marriage and with consent of you spouse!
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post #30 of 93 (permalink) Old 02-26-2013, 03:27 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

My wife is born again and devout Catholic as they come (I'm just the opposite). Some things are off limits to her - like anal, but not for religious reasons. Watching porn may be the only thing that has her uneasy because of religion.

She told me once that she believes God condones all that a married man and his wife do together in their bedroom.

She is very reluctant to share her experiences and fantasies with me, but will do most of what I want in bed. I am the more creative one even though she has more experience than me. For her, there was sex before being born again.

We were extremely attracted to each other, but while dating I thought sex and kinkiness would be off limits. To my surprise (and pleasure), nothing could be further from the truth.

But every individual is different. Hollywood stomps all over the reputation of Christians while canonizing pedophiles like Woody Allen & Roman Pulanski. Don't believe their tripe!
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