How kinky are Born-Agains?? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-12-2013, 08:51 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

Great question. You should read Song of Solomon (book of the Bible) for some idea of how God wants us to enjoy our spouse. There's some pretty passionate stuff in there, and I'm pretty sure they include oral sex.

Also when you are in a relationship and moving towards marriage, I highly recommend getting a copy of "Sheet Music" and both of you read it. I buy it for all my engaged friends.

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post #32 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-12-2013, 09:36 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

I'll just throw in my $0.02 here.

My wife and I are Christians (I'm a pastor) and have a pretty good sex life. Sometimes it's kinky and dirty. Maybe a little rough, some sexy dress-up, oral, even anal (rare occasions). Sometimes it's just "normal" I guess you'd say. It really depends on what we're in the mood for and (having 3 kids) what we have time for.

Bottom line - your bodies are designed to fit together for a reason. You are to enjoy each other's bodies. When the two of you come together, you are absolutely free to do whatever you want as long as

1.) It's just the two of you
2.) You both agree (i.e. no one's being guilted into it with that "if you loved me, you'd do it" crap)
3.) No one's getting hurt

As long as those 3 conditions are met, then by all means have at it!


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post #33 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-13-2013, 11:38 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by RoninJedi View Post
I'll just throw in my $0.02 here.

My wife and I are Christians (I'm a pastor) and have a pretty good sex life. Sometimes it's kinky and dirty. Maybe a little rough, some sexy dress-up, oral, even anal (rare occasions). Sometimes it's just "normal" I guess you'd say. It really depends on what we're in the mood for and (having 3 kids) what we have time for.

Bottom line - your bodies are designed to fit together for a reason. You are to enjoy each other's bodies. When the two of you come together, you are absolutely free to do whatever you want as long as

1.) It's just the two of you
2.) You both agree (i.e. no one's being guilted into it with that "if you loved me, you'd do it" crap)
3.) No one's getting hurt

As long as those 3 conditions are met, then by all means have at it!
Couldn't have said it any better.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #34 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-16-2013, 02:06 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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My wife is a devout Christian woman and trust me, she's no prude. We love fantasies, masturbation is fine as long as it involves one another. Even if I am not present she thinks about me when she does it which is fine. We don't do anal because we personally find it icky. There is no biblical reason for her to withhold any type of sex from you, assuming you marry.
"Sodomy" in the Bible generally refers to homosexuality in general, rather than the act of anal intercourse, since that scientific term did not exist during the time of King James.

Here is the closet the Bible comes to in saying what kind of sex a man and wife can have:

Quote:
1 Corinthians 7:1-2 ESV
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
So essentially, the Bible deals with sex by basically saying it is reserved for married people. That's it. There are no boundaries listed in the Bible which limit the type of sex a husband and wife can have. Which inferrs that, as long as both partners are okay with certain acts, God doesn't stick his nose in it.
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post #35 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-16-2013, 03:51 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

I'm with bandit on this one, "sodomy" was a reference to homosexual activity. Between man and woman, I think its all good. And as a side note, some of the biggest perverts I've ever met where christians.

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post #36 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-16-2013, 03:56 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
"Sodomy" in the Bible generally refers to homosexuality in general, rather than the act of anal intercourse, since that scientific term did not exist during the time of King James.

Here is the closet the Bible comes to in saying what kind of sex a man and wife can have:



So essentially, the Bible deals with sex by basically saying it is reserved for married people. That's it. There are no boundaries listed in the Bible which limit the type of sex a husband and wife can have. Which inferrs that, as long as both partners are okay with certain acts, God doesn't stick his nose in it.
And to clarify... I never said the Bible forbids anal sex between husband and wife... I said my wife and I find it icky. That's us, not Scripture. Like I said in my original post, there is no BIBLICAL reason for a woman to withhold any type of sex from her husband. As long as all the requirements you outlined are met, have at it!

Besides, I'm sure we do some things that other folks would find 'icky'.
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post #37 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-16-2013, 05:38 PM
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Re: Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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I'm with bandit on this one, "sodomy" was a reference to homosexual activity. Between man and woman, I think its all good. And as a side note, some of the biggest perverts I've ever met where christians.
To be more accurate it says between husband and wife. As for me, I'm more pervy largely because my Christian mother wanted me to be pure and straight, but it has worked out for the best because my gf like me being a pervert.

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post #38 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 04:20 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Ok, hypothetical situation here:

I meet a hot girl who is a very strong born-again Christian. We date, we fall in love and we get married.

We wait until the wedding night to consumate our relationship. Obviously from person to person sexual tastes/prowess in the sack will differ. But are there 'guidelines' a born-again Christian will not cross in sexual relations with a spouse?

I'm not talking rape-fantasies or anything that is way out there. But what about oral/anal sex? Mutual masterbation? For instance would a really strong Christian wife be against anal sex with the sin of sodomy in the bible and what not? What about role-playing? Would that be considered sinful as the two of you are pretending to be people you are not, and in effect, lusting after someone else and commiting adultery/fornication in your heart etc etc etc?

Or in a marriage is it a free-for-all in terms of what you and your wife can/can't do in the marital bed?
There is no right answer I'm sure you know that, right? The only real hangups I see are obviously no cursing or filthy role play and anal may pose some problems........which for many the latter does anyway.

Other than that it's all about communication. As long as your hope isn't to say things like "Su$k this d$ck you *****" I'm sure it will be fine!!

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post #39 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 05:25 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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And to clarify... I never said the Bible forbids anal sex between husband and wife... I said my wife and I find it icky. That's us, not Scripture. Like I said in my original post, there is no BIBLICAL reason for a woman to withhold any type of sex from her husband. As long as all the requirements you outlined are met, have at it!

Besides, I'm sure we do some things that other folks would find 'icky'.
I don't like AS either.
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post #40 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 05:31 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by anxiousbones View Post
Great question. You should read Song of Solomon (book of the Bible) for some idea of how God wants us to enjoy our spouse. There's some pretty passionate stuff in there, and I'm pretty sure they include oral sex.

Also when you are in a relationship and moving towards marriage, I highly recommend getting a copy of "Sheet Music" and both of you read it. I buy it for all my engaged friends.
what I always understood about Song of Solomon, is that it is a love poem on two levels.

On the surface level, it is love poems between Solomon and one of his wives, where he is basically seducing her. Then on the spiritual level, the S of S is the love song between God and Israel, speaking about how God wishes to have spiritual intimacy with his people.

Later, after Jesus' death and resurrection, and the passing of the new covenant to believers, the S of S is expanded to the love affair between Jesus and his Church.

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post #41 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 06:29 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
what I always understood about Song of Solomon, is that it is a love poem on two levels.

On the surface level, it is love poems between Solomon and one of his wives, where he is basically seducing her. Then on the spiritual level, the S of S is the love song between God and Israel, speaking about how God wishes to have spiritual intimacy with his people.

Later, after Jesus' death and resurrection, and the passing of the new covenant to believers, the S of S is expanded to the love affair between Jesus and his Church.
It's worth noting that some Christians deny the sexual aspect of this book. That is, some will claim that this book is strictly a metaphor about the relationship between Jesus and his Church, and has nothing to do with sex.

I strongly disagree, and YMMV as well. But, there it is.
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post #42 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 07:38 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

I never liked the term "Born Again".. I tried to be a christian when dating, when we married.. probably not a very good one....

I was pretty vanilla minded.. .we didn't talk about sex... he was vanilla too, even though he could have cared less about Belief...he was just a good guy....if I could go back in time.... I would have read many more books, secular even to open up a variety of ways we could have pleased each other... Unfortunately -In my head.... I associated Oral sex with what Porn women do... or Bad girls.....

...Had I read a few books like this back then...it could have really opened my eyes....to how these things are beautiful & encouraged within marriage also...

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage: Kevin Leman:

Under the Sheets: The Secrets to Hot Sex in Your Marriage:

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun): Books

Speaking for us...He was content.. I was content .... but looking back.. I feel we missed a lot of FUN... so trying to make up for it in Mid Life...

This is the largest christian sex forum on the net... I bet many questions similar to this have been asked....

The Marriage Bed - sex and Intimacy for Christians
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post #43 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 08:09 AM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

As a Christian, I feel that there is nothing really wrong with the term "born again." In fact, it is scripturally correct. I could cite it verbatim, but I don't really think that doing so in this particular thread would be all that relevant.

That being said, I don't think that God designed us physically to be a bunch of prudes or Victorians. He gave us the gift of sex chiefly for procreation, but secondarily for pleasure. It is that "pleasure principle" if you will, that keeps the lines open for the procreation end of things.

I really feel that God gave us the sexual ability to love each other with as a near infinite passion as he possibly could. But He gave us that greatly under the guise that it was to be done within the framework of a loving, committed, and married relationship. And it was to be done whereby one partner, while seeking a loving sexual gratification of his own, would not come to offend his partner in obtaining that and vice-versa; always striving to maintain an aura of trust between each other that there would be no other participants in this union, and that the union itself lent psychological as well as physiological protection to the partners.

And just as God's love for us is totally boundless, so it is that He wanted our marital/relationship with each other to mirror that love as much as humanly possible.

The way I see it, for as long as we subscribe to those tenants, and for as long as we continue to offer our eternal abiding love to our partners and continue to protect them, and them us, then "the sky is the limit" for as long as we don't violate our partners physical(hurt/pain) or mental trust(infidelity/breach of security)!

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post #44 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 12:33 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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It's worth noting that some Christians deny the sexual aspect of this book. That is, some will claim that this book is strictly a metaphor about the relationship between Jesus and his Church, and has nothing to do with sex.

I strongly disagree, and YMMV as well. But, there it is.
What is so unique about the Bible, is that many versus such as those in the S of S have multi-level meanings... both referring to physical and the spiritual.
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post #45 of 93 (permalink) Old 12-17-2013, 12:59 PM
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Re: How kinky are Born-Agains??

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What is so unique about the Bible, is that many versus such as those in the S of S have multi-level meanings... both referring to physical and the spiritual.
And some you have to think about in this day. For instance, "you are like a mare among Pharaoh's chariots" What would that mean to anyone today? But if you know that the Pharaoh only had stallions to pull his chariots, and if you knew what a ruckus it would cause to have one mare among hundreds of stallions... well then you'd see what the author of that particular love poem was getting at.

Translated to today: "You are so hot you drive every man crazy!"
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