"Faith" is destroying my marriage
My wife and I will be married 17 years next month. When we were first married, she was a Catholic and I was a Baptist. As both of us were only semi-regular attendees at our respective churches, this wasn't that big of a deal. Over the years, as I familiarized myself more with the Bible, I came to the realization that the whole Judeo-Christian belief system just wasn't for me. Now, I consider myself to be an agnostic with leanings toward Deism. I'm content with my beliefs, such as they are, and am perfectly happy to let others believe whatever they like, so long as they don't become obtrusive and tell me how wrong I am for not sharing their religious views.
My wife, on the other hand, became disillusioned with the Catholic church several years ago and began attending a non-denominational Christian church her sister had joined. I have attended the church numerous times over the years, and although they are rather informal, they don't do anything weird or over the top.
The problem is that within the last couple of years, my wife has become increasingly belligerent with her piety. She accuses me of worshipping idols (I collect action figures, but haven't added to the collection in over a year and they are kept in a separate room in the garage), she constantly points out to our children (ages 16 and 7) how evil sexuality and violence are (she considers underwear commercials pornography, and Tom and Jerry cartoons to be ultra-violent). When I'm not home, and often when I am, she only allows the kids to watch religious programming on TV. She is also threatening to withdraw the kids from school and homeschool them because the public school system is too "worldly" and "anti-Christian". At this time of year, even mentioning Halloween is equated with engaging in Satanism.
Last night, after I left for work, she took two whimsical cement gargoyles I had in our courtyard garden and smashed them in the driveway because she considers their presence to be idolatry. She also threw away (but didn't smash) a small lion statue that she had purchased last year for the garden. The loss of the gargoyles isn't really the issue. I paid $2.00 for the pair last year and although I liked them, I'm not going to die if I don't have them. The problem is that she is now acting out destructively with her "faith". I'm trying to shield our kids from this as much as I can, but I can't be home 24 hours a day to do it.
I've tried recommending marriage counseling, but she absolutely refuses to go to any counseling that isn't primarily faith-based with heavy emphasis on becoming a godly couple. I feel that her increasingly judgemental piety is the prime source of divisiveness in our marriage and going to a faith-based counselor is similar to going to a bartender to seek help with a drinking problem.
I'm at the point now where divorce is beginning to look like a viable option. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I might proceed with getting this train back on track, or am I fighting a losing battle?