I'm a christian and a mother of three but recently I've been asking myself difficult questions due to the difficulties I'm going throug hin my marriage. I hope and pray that God understands why I'm asking all these questions. I've been married for 7 years and in my marriage we are happy this month and the next month we are fighting and it can take the whole month of no communication and tension. All I want to know is, 1.Does a man have a right to refuse to talk to his wife for weeks on time just because they had a fight.2 Does a husband have a right to go away from home without telling the wife for days at a time, purpotedly on business trips. 3, Does a husband have a right to not eat meals at home and divide the bed with pillows so he doesn't even look at his wife 4.Does a husband have a right to talk to other women at all hours of the night be it friends or what but never talks to them when he's in good terms with his wife 5. Does a man have a right to take off his wedding ring when he has a fight with his wife.
That's about what is happening in my marriage. I've prayed for a long time but never got answers. I've talked until I'm dry in th mouth. I've involved both families with relief for a limited period. I'm at my wit's end and do not know what to do. My painful realisation is that it seems like other people have more favour with God than others because despite him treating me this badly, nothing ever happens to show that as a praying woman, My God will not tolerate this treatment of His child. He just goes on living his life despite all the cruel things he's doing to me and when he's ready to reconcile I'm supposed to be very happy and gratefu because in his eyes I'm the one who's at fault.
I wish God could give a straight answer soon so I could know what to do.
Sweetie, God is not going to answer those questions because you all ready know those answers. A man is to LOVE his wife. Are any of those actions loving actions? Do you feel loved? It' quite obvious what he is doing is not right and God shouldn't have to be the one to point that out to you.
Even in a fight, a man can show love to his wife and a wife can show respect to her husband. What my biggest concern is that you are living in an emotionally abusive situation. If he has his ring off and is talking with other women, chances are there is an affair either happening or pending along with this horrible treatment.
Your self esteem is probably being greatly damaged and you are probably on the verge of some major depression and generalized anxiety mental health issues.
Even if you were at fault, that kind of treatment is still abusive, so the idea that you are supposed to just take loads of emotional cruelty and possible infidelity because he feels he can just treat you that way is totally, totally wrong. Sure, couples get mad at each other, they create some distance for awhile and then they work it out, but they don't put each other through all of this. This is definitely abuse and God even mentions in the Bible that you are not to keep yourself in an abusive situation.
God all ready gave straight answers, they are in the Bible and they are down deep inside of you, perhaps you are not listening to that still, small voice, because you don't even trust your own self due to the abuse you've had to live with.
Please, get into some counseling to help you, and stop allowing your husband to treat you that way. Move out if you have to, stay with a friend or family member. I don't want to think of you being in that sort of situation even a minute longer.
This is pure emotional abuse. Counseling will help you come up with a plan. It may require you to move out to get him to wake up. Or he may let you leave - which will end up being a blessing as no one deserves this type treatment.
Sorry for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Southernsbo
Hi all
I'm a christian and a mother of three but recently I've been asking myself difficult questions due to the difficulties I'm going throug hin my marriage. I hope and pray that God understands why I'm asking all these questions. I've been married for 7 years and in my marriage we are happy this month and the next month we are fighting and it can take the whole month of no communication and tension. All I want to know is, 1.Does a man have a right to refuse to talk to his wife for weeks on time just because they had a fight.2 Does a husband have a right to go away from home without telling the wife for days at a time, purpotedly on business trips. 3, Does a husband have a right to not eat meals at home and divide the bed with pillows so he doesn't even look at his wife 4.Does a husband have a right to talk to other women at all hours of the night be it friends or what but never talks to them when he's in good terms with his wife 5. Does a man have a right to take off his wedding ring when he has a fight with his wife.
That's about what is happening in my marriage. I've prayed for a long time but never got answers. I've talked until I'm dry in th mouth. I've involved both families with relief for a limited period. I'm at my wit's end and do not know what to do. My painful realisation is that it seems like other people have more favour with God than others because despite him treating me this badly, nothing ever happens to show that as a praying woman, My God will not tolerate this treatment of His child. He just goes on living his life despite all the cruel things he's doing to me and when he's ready to reconcile I'm supposed to be very happy and gratefu because in his eyes I'm the one who's at fault.
I wish God could give a straight answer soon so I could know what to do.
Thank you guys. Sometimes the truth becomes too painful to even think about. I know I don't deserve to be treated like this but what am I doing about it? Nothing, because all the talking and complaining means nothing because he knows exactly what he's doing. I don't want to leave my home. I feel like I don't have to be the one to leave and uproot my children when he's the one who's treating me badly. I don't know how to get him to leave though because when I mentioned it that he should give me space and just leave me for a while, he asked me where he should go because it's his home also and has nowhere else to go. So, I'm in that unhealthy situation, it seems so unfair that he would abuse me emotionally and I then become the one to suffer.
Blaming God was just another way of running from the truth, I guess. I'm tired of all this and I want a solution soon. I have to take the advice of going for counselling, even if I go by myself for now just to get some perspective.
Thank you once more for your responses.
You're welcome Sweetie. Don't settle for that kind of treatment. Let him know "I noticed your ring is off and you are pursuing female company, to me that means you are not interested in pursuing your marriage, so please let me know what arrangements you have to move out."
Then go about your business, don't argue, don't listen to name calling, leave the house with the kids to go shopping or run errands and just do everything you can to stay away from him. Definitely, definitely pursue counseling.
An abusive person will become more abusive until they finally figure out it won't work, so prepare for the worst. Have friends you can call, or church support, be ready to leave your house at a moments notice, even just for a little while and do not allow yourself to be abused. If he wants pillows up on the bed, sleep in the kids room. The kids can just think it's fun for mommy to play camping with them, you don't want to put them through the wringer of living in a problem home.
Best of luck to you. Remain strong, in your faith and as a woman that deserves the best, and a mother protecting the well being of her children.
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