You are advocating that she has sex with a man she does not love vs manstrubation? So.. the Lord is okay with using your body for just sex as long as there is a piece of paper that you are married? I find this VERY disturbing to be honest.
She is not setting herself up for any intimacy issues, it's normal and healthy to manstrubate while in a relationship. Unless it replaces sex with a LOVING partner.
I'm sorry but I was floored about what you wrote. It's the polar opposite of any modern and rational sex therapy idea we have.
It's different if she is in a good marriage and has lost her drive, then YES advocating sex to see if it will rekindle desire is one thing... asking someone to get their ex back even if he was the biggest a$$ in the world, with sex? He cheated on her for 10 years, you advocate just getting an std test and going for it?
Do you have any idea how psychologically damaging that could be to her and her new relationships?
Honestly, I am appalled.
What do you think makes love? Sex is a great intimacy building tool! Sex is a tool, it’s a desire that was built in us to help us mate, to help us build desire. If you go to long without getting it, must like food you get crabby, you feel admiration for the one who gives it to you. It’s a basic need. Marriage is the sexual contract that says “I will only do this with you.”
Studies have shown masturbation does not have the same healthy effects as sex. You do not gain that euphoria, those sinus cleansing whatever.. that one often has after orgasm. Depression, skin issues, and weight loss are also to be aided by sex vs. masturbation that is often thought to in fact promote depression.
I agree that she needs a loving partner, but I don’t see how being sexually unfaithful to her spouse will gain that.
She obviously got back together with him AFTER finding that out. So I was assuming she had decided to stay in the relationship.
Yes I know this is a “antiquated” idea.. one might even call it a biblical approach? But since I am constraining my posts to in fact that “biblical” area of this forum I kind of thought it might be applicable?
Have you ever heard of Mark Gungor and his “laugh your way to a better marriage” or Debi Pearl “help meet”? Those two are very much who has shaped my views on a woman’s role and marital sex.
The truth is that most good marriages have a good sex drive, but once the sex goes often so does the marriage. Most people act like asses when they don’t get sex. I am, I’m a huge jerk sometimes and my husband is like “what is your problem.” Get sex, I’m no longer a jerk! Its part of marital yen and yang.
So you think her learning to pleasure herself, possibly making it impossible for her to gain orgasm from any man ever is better for her than trying to make it work with a husband she seems to have already tried to take back?
yes I admit my view is not what the world today says, I also Know its not a popular one. But it is what I would want someone to say to me. They have in fact, and been more the friend for it. No the situation was not quite the same mine was in relation to deployment and reintegration issues. But masturbation and marital unfaithfulness where a common issue. I hated that person at the time and thought them so old fashioned and wrong. But it turned out they where wise and a good friend. She didn’t “poor puppy it” or hold my hand though a divorce. She told me straight up I was going to kill my marriage with a vibrator and I needed to just take a cold shower and deal with it. Their was masturbation in the bible, God wasn’t unaware, and he doesn't make mistakes. That’s what wet dreams are for. Stick to your part and let God deal with the rest.