Masturbation after seperation ???? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 02:17 AM Thread Starter
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Masturbation after seperation ????

Hie all

Here is my dilemna. I have been seperated from my Husband for going to 6 months now, his idea after he had been cheating on me for all of the 10 yrs we were married and me forgiving him and hoping it would all get better. In 2012 we had sex 'once', he refused all my advances and was just not intersted.

When he said we should seperate I was hurt and went through a tough time for some time, then I found my strength and realised he had set me free from what could have been a lifetime of abuse. I am so optimistics about life all of a sudden. Problem is my sexual drive has come back, after all those years of repressing my sexuality because the one person i was supposed to be sleeping with wouldnt have me.

I wont sleep with anyone still, but have discovered masturbation as a way of release. I do want to get married and not burn with lust but I couldnt make a rush decision concerning marriage even if I had met someone.

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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 02:18 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

Is Masturbation a sin. What options do I have for sexual release??
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 05:43 AM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

I don't think there is any way to get sexual release any other way, it's sex or masturbation.

Sorry if you feel it's a sin, I don't see what else you can do.
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 01:40 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????


Bafuna
I have not seen any where in the Bible where Masturbation is mentioned as a sin, have you?

Even James Dobson the very conservative Christian psychologist and author does not find that masturbation is a sin. He says something like this; it would be a very cruel joke to put such strong a sexual urge in mankind without a release. What about nocturnal (Wet) dreams? They are involuntary right; how can that other release be a sin?


I tend to think that something as important as sin would have several references in the Bible but I find none. I will change my opinion if anyone finds any scriptures that say masturbation is a sin.

It has been said that 90% of teenage boys ages 13-15 admit to masturbating and the other 10% lie. Your natural sexuality is very healthy IMO

I admire your resolve to not sleep with anyone and your concern for not wanting to sin
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 05:18 PM
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Masturbation after seperation ????

Today, most but the most conservative and fundamentalist of religious sects do not view self gratification in your situation as sinful. Perhaps some counseling with your pastor or other religious clergy would be of benefit to you.
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-17-2013, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

Thanks guys, anyone with a different opinion with supporting evidence?
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-17-2013, 05:57 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

I don't believe masturbation is a sin, but I was brought up to believe it is. There's a scripture somewhere that says something about spilling seed that was always brought up....this must be it

"Genesis Chapter 38

9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled [it] on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

I was always told that this means God was displeased with Onan for spilling his seed, but the way it reads to me, God was probably more displeased with Onan for sleeping with his brothers wife. I dunno.

I was also taught that the repeated theme of children being blessed and that sex is supposed to produce children also means that masturbation, for men anyway, is taboo.

Here's some more supposedly anti-masturbation Bible quotes:

BIBLE VERSES ABOUT MASTURBATION

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

Our R
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-17-2013, 06:40 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

I wish I could explain it in the way I learned about it but I wont even be able to come close. Just as we tend to view our wedding bands as a sign of our marriage, God created sex to be a sign of our marriage. Sex combines us into one and was only meant for marriage. By masturbating, you are not sharing that form of love with your spouse and instead are self-gratifying with something that is meant for only the two of you. Im not sure if this is actually the right sermon or not but Southeast Christian church has a sermon about this so Ill add the link. I thought it was part of the Week 3 sermon about Porn but like I said, I could be wrong. As far as "release," it is recommended that you pray and mentally fight the urges. It can be done. Exercise and getting your mind off of it can help as well.
Southeast Christian - Sermons Home
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-17-2013, 08:43 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

I've done a TON of bible studies and the general consensus is the bible is SILENT on masturbation.

That means YOU need to decide for yourself.

That whole verse on not spilling the seed has NOTHING to do with masturbation when you read the whole story in context.

I once did some research for a friend because she wouldn't even do bj's because she thought THAT was a sin. LOL
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-18-2013, 07:40 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

The sinfulness of the act of self-gratification lies only in YOUR heart. The fact you sought an answer to the question suggests you have the answer, but are not comfortable with walking the path. Seek Him, and the answer will become clear.

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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-18-2013, 07:50 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

Well look at it this way, which is a worst having sex out if marriage or masturbating? I personally do not see it as a sin, but if you do, don't you get some credit for taking care of yourself and not fornicating? Don't you think there are far worse things you can be doing?
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 09-02-2013, 07:20 AM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

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Originally Posted by mablenc View Post
Well look at it this way, which is a worst having sex out if marriage or masturbating? I personally do not see it as a sin, but if you do, don't you get some credit for taking care of yourself and not fornicating? Don't you think there are far worse things you can be doing?
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It is 100% healthy and IF we weren't supposed to enjoy ourselves, God would have made our arms shorter.

Be proud and enjoy your body!
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 09-03-2013, 07:55 AM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

[QUOTE=Hope1964;3178409]9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled [it] on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

QUOTE]

Onan's sin was refusal to provide his dead brother with an heir.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 09-05-2013, 05:19 AM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

You have to do what feels right for you, OP, but personally I don't believe that it is a sin. What I do believe is a sin is that some of the people who would have their followers believe that it is indulge in far worse themselves.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 09-05-2013, 09:47 PM
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Re: Masturbation after seperation ????

[QUOTE=LonelyinLove;4027650]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled [it] on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

QUOTE]

Onan's sin was refusal to provide his dead brother with an heir.
This is exactly correct. Men were expected to marry their brothers widows in that day because women were unable to provide for themselves and their children without a husband in that culture. For a man to NOT do that was basically sentencing her and her children to death by starvation. It had nothing to do with masturbation and everything to do with saving lives.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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