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Search took 0.06 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Paladin
Forum: Sex in Marriage Today, 06:21 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 760
Posted By Paladin
Re: Before I make the final decision- opinions please

A fetish, like most things in life, is fine so long as it does not impact regular life to a significant degree. I recently read an article about how the human brain can "fetishize" something without...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-11-2013, 06:22 AM
Replies: 32
Views: 1,532
Posted By Paladin
Re: Stop Thinking you Can "Nice" Your Way out of Infidelity

Our couples counselor refers to it as a co-equal relationship, or a relationship of co-equal decision making. As far as joking about how much control a wife has over the relationship, that goes as...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-10-2013, 06:20 AM
Replies: 32
Views: 1,532
Posted By Paladin
Re: Stop Thinking you Can "Nice" Your Way out of Infidelity

More of the Alpha Beta crap, sometimes I think people posting this advice have a stake in a lumber yard, or just have a surplus of 2x4's to get rid of.

If there was a 'one size fits all' approach...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-10-2013, 05:14 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 1,104
Posted By Paladin
Re: New, having doubts about my husband and marriage!

Wow so many useless one liner responses and dismissive advice I had to double check the URL to make sure I was still on TAM. Why bother posting that kind of drivel? It serves very little purpose.
...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-08-2013, 07:34 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 770
Posted By Paladin
Re: A Change in Attitude during your R

As a BS for me the hardest part of the entire process was actually understanding that I had to be fully committed to losing my partner, marriage, and everything else, in order to have any meaningful...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-08-2013, 07:15 AM
Replies: 40
Views: 1,419
Posted By Paladin
Re: Emotional Extortion

One of the biggest problems for me before the A was the unconditional love/trust I had for my partner. Through lots of IC and MC I was able to recognize that healthy adult love and trust has to be...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-07-2013, 08:33 AM
Replies: 114
Views: 2,944
Posted By Paladin
Re: Resentment for H

Just thought it was sorta funny to see two people "almost" flirting while talking about not flirting... erm.. heh... anyhow, I didnt mean to offend, nor did I presume to know you/your heart.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-07-2013, 04:23 AM
Replies: 79
Views: 4,850
Posted By Paladin
Re: A support forum for people having affairs? Yup.

I got banned from there when I politely pointed out (with citations to relevant texts and research) that the pain of the betrayal in an affair can be equated with the pain of losing a loved one, and...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-07-2013, 04:08 AM
Replies: 80
Views: 4,406
Posted By Paladin
Re: Sex during the affair

My partner has always talked about how crappy the sex was between her and the POSOM. While I questioned her honesty on the subject at the beginning, as we progressed through R it became clear that...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-07-2013, 12:53 AM
Replies: 114
Views: 2,944
Posted By Paladin
Re: Resentment for H

BTW, the last 4-5 posts would be considered flirting by me.. just saying..
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-04-2013, 10:16 PM
Replies: 114
Views: 2,944
Posted By Paladin
Re: Resentment for H

Ok, so because of some ancient text that has been picked apart and put back together by various kings and organized religions, this woman should sit there and suffer for the rest of her life? Her...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-04-2013, 10:05 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,018
Posted By Paladin
Re: Re: Revenge???

First of all, that contract is terminated by the courts in a divorce, his wife not keeping her side of the vows up doesn't terminate his side of those vows or his responsibility to keep them. If he...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-04-2013, 07:26 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,018
Posted By Paladin
Re: Re: Revenge???

This can't possibly be the way you actually feel. Disrespecting himself, the vows he took, his wife and family, by "having some fun" with that "hottie" would 100% most definatley make him a terrible...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-04-2013, 07:05 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,018
Posted By Paladin
Re: Re: Revenge???

If you still resent your wife, and don't think she understands the pain she caused, you should go to counseling with her. Those seeds will poison your soul and turn you into an angry and bitter...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-04-2013, 05:23 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,018
Posted By Paladin
Re: Revenge???

Here's an idea, tell your wife about this girl and see what she says. You said you worked it out and now things are good, what did you two do to deal with her infidelity? What do you guys do to...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 05-04-2013, 04:45 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 984
Posted By Paladin
Re: I love my Nice Guy, but he doesn't love me any more....

Sorry you are dealing with this, I have a few questions. You say you will leave him if he has another EA. You just found evidence that strongly suggests (especially if taking his past into account)...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-29-2013, 09:25 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 1,547
Posted By Paladin
Re: What does WS spouse think about during R?

Actually, the meaningless empty and incorrect statement came from you. Instead of understanding WHY you've read that statement so many times, you deal with it by attacking the person making it for no...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-29-2013, 04:35 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 1,021
Posted By Paladin
Re: Looking for some advice

Its amazing to me that you continue to look for ways to justify and excuse your deplorable behavior. You want to find ways to be closer to your wife? Try telling the truth. You can not have a...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-29-2013, 03:36 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 1,021
Posted By Paladin
Re: Looking for some advice

So... umm... married 3 years... and youve been with eight other women? Why exactly are you married? Was it some sort of political power thing? Is she rich? You dont have a marriage, you have a live...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-29-2013, 03:30 PM
Replies: 41
Views: 1,659
Posted By Paladin
Re: A little confused, to say the least.

Look, i understand your feelings of guilt are preventin you from thinking and acting clearly in this situation, but as you've already been told on a few occasions in this thread, what she is doing is...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-29-2013, 01:09 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 1,547
Posted By Paladin
Re: What does WS spouse think about during R?

The advice you got about just letting yourself be "ill" for a while was the best advice you could get at the moment. While I agree to some degree with the people cautioning you against coping with...
Forum: The Ladies' Lounge 04-29-2013, 03:31 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 859
Posted By Paladin
Re: Re: So today is our 23rd wedding anniversary ....

Good, making you smile was the intent. I would also consider making couples counseling part of your regular marital routine. If things weren't so tight with finances, my wife and I would be going to...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-28-2013, 11:58 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 1,230
Posted By Paladin
Re: Re: Need Advice

We have a very transparent marriage now, I don't keep things from her, and she doesn't keep things from me. We continue to discuss the issue, and she reads this thread. Her opinion has shifted toward...
Forum: The Ladies' Lounge 04-28-2013, 11:36 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 859
Posted By Paladin
Re: So today is our 23rd wedding anniversary ....

How long have you two had conflicting work schedules? Have you ever attended couples counseling? You say "not passive aggressive" but you knew he would forget, and here you are, feeling crappy on a...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 04-28-2013, 10:44 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 1,230
Posted By Paladin
Re: Need Advice

They live out of state, we've had no contact with them in two years or so. Im going to do it anonymously on Monday. I found his name in a business to business directory, and know what firm he works...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 320
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