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Search: Keyword(s): ; Posts Made By: sirwonder
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-16-2015, 12:44 AM
Replies: 44
Views: 3,994
Posted By sirwonder
Re: I'm back. I'm freaking out.

I think you just need to get through these days and move forward. I disagree with the alarmists here that are calling you and her out on this. She had this plan from long ago but probably should have...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-15-2015, 07:03 PM
Replies: 44
Views: 3,994
Posted By sirwonder
Re: I'm back. I'm freaking out.

You're having a lot of anxiety and it's understandable, because of your past. It will come and go at times like this when you're worried about a woman you care about. You need to stay on your center...
Forum: The Men's Clubhouse   12-11-2015, 06:43 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,025
Posted By sirwonder
Re: What's it like after divorce?

When you're around one person all the time and don't have enough of a separate life, it can get dull like this. A lot of conversation with people in general happens when you have been doing separate...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-09-2015, 03:12 AM
Replies: 360
Views: 29,807
Posted By sirwonder
Re: What's the WORST thing about infidelity?

Here's my list of worst things. Mine was 4 years ago and I'm not even sure why I'm back here. I guess this ****e just never goes away completely.

Warning some of this is graphic.

Mind movies...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-08-2015, 05:26 PM
Replies: 138
Views: 19,908
Posted By sirwonder
Re: Wife had an affair and does not know if she wants to stay married

Frusterated84,

You don't have to be FB friends to send a message to someone. Just click the Message button on her FB profile.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-08-2015, 04:35 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,215
Posted By sirwonder
Re: What do you think?

This is definitely an emotional affair and you must stop it or there's a good chance it will turn physical, if it hasn't already.

You need to show your husband the definition of Emotional Affair...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-04-2015, 07:06 PM
Replies: 138
Views: 19,908
Posted By sirwonder
Re: Wife had an affair and does not know if she wants to stay married

She's way too far gone to reconcile with. I was in a similar situation, and my WW actually wanted to try and fix the marriage and definitely didn't want divorce. But I filed after 12 excruciating...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-03-2015, 02:26 PM
Replies: 195
Views: 19,441
Posted By sirwonder
Re: He's not in love with me anymore

I agree with Pluto2.

The only way to get a person back who says he doesn't love you anymore is to let him go. No ultimatum. You can't say "start loving me or it's over." Just remove yourself from...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   03-16-2012, 12:58 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 2,334
Posted By sirwonder
Re: Hysterical bonding or Rug Sweeping?

Henley, your wanting him near you and wanting sex like you describe, at this point, is very normal....there is a period of wanting to "reclaim" what is yours. It's natural. Feeling triggered and sick...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   03-13-2012, 08:17 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 3,583
Posted By sirwonder
Re: Question for women and wayward women

I'm a man, but it's been 7 months for me and my wife since she had her PA/EA and although we are doing well, the affection and sex is only starting to get more frequent now. What you've described is...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   02-20-2012, 02:39 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,651
Posted By sirwonder
Re: To those who have R from an undecide

You might remain undecided for months while you are trying R. Pick a day in the future and try to get there without D. Then re-evaluate when that day comes. Keep repeating that process and you will...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   02-18-2012, 01:45 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 3,427
Posted By sirwonder
Help for getting rid of the images and movies

Like most people, I have been very disturbed by the images of my WS having sex with the affair partner. I didn't actually see it, but I have replayed those movies too and it hurts more than...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   02-15-2012, 04:44 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,524
Posted By sirwonder
Re: Happy valentine's day

This is our first V day since my wife's affair in July 2011. It has been a difficult road and I've done most of my healing myself while our relationship has made slow but steady progress. I triggered...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   02-03-2012, 05:27 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,532
Posted By sirwonder
Heal yourself, nobody will do it for you

I've come to realize something very important over the last month or two (6 months after DDay from wife's PA/EA). The only person who can heal you, as the BS, is you. Sure, your WS can help, but what...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-27-2011, 12:54 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,443
Posted By sirwonder
Re: A tip that might help your pain

From what you shared, your situation is different than mine. I would not recommend taking my approach, but instead would just go "all in" in your marriage. Just fight the pain in a different way,...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-26-2011, 07:32 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,443
Posted By sirwonder
A tip that might help your pain

Like everyone, I've had moments of total despair about my wife's PA (6 months ago). We're still married, "working on it." I don't know how it will turn out, but here's what helps me:

Live day to...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-10-2011, 07:34 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 5,178
Posted By sirwonder
Re: can't get the images out of my head

Most of things you wrote are correct. When I decided to try and R, I knew the chances weren't good. She wasn't able to do the right things, and still isn't.

But I did not expect MC to solve all...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-10-2011, 12:55 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 5,178
Posted By sirwonder
can't get the images out of my head

4 months out from DDay from her EA/PA, trying to work on our marriage. In MC and IC. Married 10 years, 3 kids.

During the first few months of trying R, all I wanted was my wife back. That was my...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-08-2011, 06:47 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,058
Posted By sirwonder
Re: Am I in a Situation Wiith No Solution? I cant do this alone anymore.

You've already given him many chances and he continues to disrespect you. He's having his cake and eating it too because you take him back every time he asks. You have a choice in this too. If you...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-08-2011, 01:04 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,074
Posted By sirwonder
Re: wife doesn't reach out when I'm struggling

Thank you for sharing all of your personal stories and experiences. The quotes above really hit home with me. I never thought of just saying "I'm feeling really angry today, and I would appreciate...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-08-2011, 12:25 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,074
Posted By sirwonder
Re: wife doesn't reach out when I'm struggling

This is spot on. This issue has come up many times, my controlling behavior, and it is totally valid. We even joke sometimes about the "old me" would object to this or that right now, in day-to-day...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-07-2011, 06:20 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,074
Posted By sirwonder
Re: wife doesn't reach out when I'm struggling

Wow. That is one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten, and a new way for me to look at it. Thank you.

Can you give me an example of "acknowledge if she is making progress" and "positive...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-07-2011, 01:11 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,074
Posted By sirwonder
Re: wife doesn't reach out when I'm struggling

Good points. She has been going to IC often and likes it a lot, and we also go to MC to that same counselor. She has made strides in her own personal development. This gives me hope and some trust...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-07-2011, 11:20 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,074
Posted By sirwonder
Re: wife doesn't reach out when I'm struggling

It was a full-on sexual affair in the summer that she had.

We had a long talk last night. I started out by describing exactly how I didn't meet her needs in the relationship before, before she...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity   12-06-2011, 09:18 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,074
Posted By sirwonder
Re: wife doesn't reach out when I'm struggling

Can you clarify what actions and words, right now, make you think that she doesn't respect me now? Maybe you are right, just wanted to see what prompted you to say that.

Even though some comments...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 38

 
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