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Search: Posts Made By: SurpriseMyself
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-27-2015, 04:32 PM
Replies: 43
Views: 1,113
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Help! I am so pissed off and don't understand why...

Beat Rick to the punch every time. If you ask if she wants to go with you and she's busy, do it yourself. But do it! Don't let him have one opportunity to outdo you.
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Politics and Religion 02-22-2015, 09:49 AM
Replies: 122
Views: 2,469
Posted By SurpriseMyself
To lay down your life is to surrender it. It is...

To lay down your life is to surrender it. It is giving up your life willingly for the sake of another. That is what Jesus was teaching the disciples. It was not about picking up arms against your...
Forum: Politics and Religion 02-21-2015, 09:51 PM
Replies: 122
Views: 2,469
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Question about a Christian belief

Condone it however you want. It does not make it right, and one day God will let you know his view on the matter. There are ways to create peace without violence. To use force when other options...
Forum: Politics and Religion 02-21-2015, 06:54 PM
Replies: 122
Views: 2,469
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Sure, if your friend is in danger. But if you...

Sure, if your friend is in danger. But if you must go half way around the world to defend your friend (and by friend, you don't really mean friend; you mean fellow American) then the word of god has...
Forum: Politics and Religion 02-21-2015, 11:37 AM
Replies: 122
Views: 2,469
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Question about a Christian belief

Every verse in the bible, Old Testament and new, is open to interpretation.

How's this one: whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to offer him the other also.

I take that to mean...
Forum: Politics and Religion 02-21-2015, 11:04 AM
Replies: 122
Views: 2,469
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Question about a Christian belief

The entire premise of Christianity makes no sense. God created a perfect place, Eden, and put two people there with only one rule. They broke the one rule and were cast out. God later decides that...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-20-2015, 05:26 AM
Replies: 228
Views: 6,911
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Atheist or Christian? does it affect how you forgive?

I see many Christians who are constantly angry with someone or something. Try don't like liberals, they don't like government, they outright hate Obama. If Christians are commanded to forgive, how...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-18-2015, 06:06 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

And sometimes it's not even the partners needs that aren't being addressed. Today we had an appt for our DS6 that we both attended. The specialist said that our son is showing symptoms of bipolar...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-18-2015, 05:38 PM
Replies: 228
Views: 6,911
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Atheist or Christian? does it affect how you forgive?

Doing good is its own reward. It fills the heart with joy. It brings love of self, knowing that what you do is in the best interest of all. Why do I need some promise of what happens when I die to...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-18-2015, 04:44 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

That researcher was John Gottman, the same person who says conflict avoidance is the #1 predictor of divorce. He said that after his previous study, which makes me wonder if conflict avoidance leads...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-18-2015, 04:37 PM
Replies: 78
Views: 2,914
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: emotional needs not being met - expectations

I don't think any of the articles said you have to meet your spouse's emotional needs all the time.

Generally speaking, men need sexual intimacy as well as emotional intimacy. Women need sexual...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-18-2015, 01:12 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

How can you love a stranger, much less be married to one for 23 years? Do you project your love? It sounds so empty.

It is what I'm talking about, except that you stayed.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-18-2015, 12:59 PM
Replies: 228
Views: 6,911
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Atheist or Christian? does it affect how you forgive?

I find Christian forgiveness to be hollow much of the time. For example, our neighbors are Christians, host Bible studies at their home, etc. But they were also the ones who, after a single event...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-18-2015, 10:47 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

Relationships are about compromise and negotiation. You have to learn how to do that; it's a skill.

If you view differences of opinion as someone will always win (usually the pushy one) and the...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-18-2015, 09:27 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

First, you don't have to argue. In fact, if you view any conversation where there is a difference of opinion or values as an argument, then you need to change this asap.

Second, realize that not...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-18-2015, 06:26 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
I think mild tempers people can be good...

I think mild tempers people can be good communicators around topics that don't come with tension or disagreement. If it's a tough conversation, though, conflict avoiders just won't have it.

My...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-17-2015, 05:00 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

Got a good smirk from that. Thanks, Conan.
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-17-2015, 02:02 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,508
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Number one predictor of divorce - what do you think?

Recently found some articles based John Gottman's research around what makes and breaks marriages and relationships. Gottman's research says that the #1 predictor of divorce is conflict avoidance.
...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 02-17-2015, 06:28 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,475
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Desperate man trying to save his marriage! Help!

Yeah .... any couple that says whips and vibrators are a regular part of our sex life while the wife has so many hang ups about solo pleasure is a big red flag. It doesn't make sense and it doesn't...
Forum: The Family & Parenting Forums 02-17-2015, 06:13 AM
Replies: 37
Views: 1,054
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Should a marriage come first?

You have to be careful here. Address this from the perspective of what you and she need as a couple.

My guess is that you are babysitting for free in lieu of putting the child in very costly...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-16-2015, 02:32 PM
Replies: 422
Views: 14,347
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

He knew about the UTIs before we married.

It does suck. It causes worry. It takes away all spontaneity. And it's not that uncommon, I think.
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-16-2015, 01:51 PM
Replies: 422
Views: 14,347
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Jld - I don't recall your story? Have you been in...

Jld - I don't recall your story? Have you been in my shoes in some way? Do you know what it's like?
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-16-2015, 01:29 PM
Replies: 422
Views: 14,347
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Jld - I don't think you can understand. There's...

Jld - I don't think you can understand. There's nothing I haven't already brought up. Some things I have said hundreds of times. It makes no difference and worse, is actually a way that the passive...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-16-2015, 12:54 PM
Replies: 422
Views: 14,347
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

Far be it from me to re-hijack my own thread ;) but I can say that my H doesn't want the honesty. He would rather fall asleep with the notion that all is well than discuss anything that might be...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 02-16-2015, 12:21 PM
Replies: 422
Views: 14,347
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

I agree that I have a lot of soul searching to do. And when you bail in 27 months, I hope you do so as well.

While it can certainly come across as if my H is the problem and I'm made of gold, I do...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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