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Search took 0.45 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: sigma1299
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-10-2013, 07:02 AM
Replies: 32
Views: 1,535
Posted By sigma1299
I have faith in a better future

Pay attention to what you're hearing about NC. Again, I've been where you are, I had an EA. I can tell you first hand that ANY contact is disastrous. It's like an instant reset taking both you and...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-08-2013, 02:32 PM
Replies: 299
Views: 9,126
Posted By sigma1299
Re: To any WS:

Which is perfectly fine. Just resolve to fix it or break it trying and go for that coffee only in the unfortunate event that you arrive at the latter and the marriage is officially terminated.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-08-2013, 02:22 PM
Replies: 299
Views: 9,126
Posted By sigma1299
Re: To any WS:

Just know that any contact with the OM is cheating again and hold yourself to a higher standard. You did it once, anyone can screw up once. If you do it a second time it says something about your...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-08-2013, 02:10 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 1,535
Posted By sigma1299
Re: I have faith in a better future

LTS - I curious what brings you back after almost a month since your last post and the last activity in your thread??
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-07-2013, 05:29 AM
Replies: 2,020
Views: 125,498
Posted By sigma1299
I am back and it gets worse

I'm sorry Thorburn. Stay strong, take care of yourself. I swear I don't understand why cheaters do this kind of crap.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-06-2013, 04:23 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 905
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Facebook question

Seeing how my EA started and was conducted primarily via Facebook obviously my vote is a resounding YES!! Mine would never have happened if not for facebook. I don't blame facebook, as has been...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-06-2013, 09:44 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 464
Posted By sigma1299
Re: first issue during reconciliation

Those things are good and well but may or may not be indicative of real remorse. If you get more behavior like last night I would start to question it, once no, but a pattern is indicative.

The...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-06-2013, 09:27 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 464
Posted By sigma1299
Re: first issue during reconciliation

mahike has a really good point.

The death of a relationship with an emotional attachment hurts. The fact that it was an affair and based in fantasy doesn't change that unfortunately. So yes, if...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-06-2013, 09:17 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 464
Posted By sigma1299
Re: first issue during reconciliation

Cheater here. I don't get points when I say this here but assuming he is genuinely remorseful what he is going through is extremely painful and difficult. The big difference between his pain and...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-01-2013, 07:03 AM
Replies: 88
Views: 4,147
Posted By sigma1299
Need Advise! He doesnt understand the hurt he caused!

IMO you did great. Him less so but I'll take a differing stance and say his not immediately saying "yes yes yes" is not necessarily bad. Your terms are great but they will be very difficult for him...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-24-2013, 03:21 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,349
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Husband's emotional affair w/employee

Let me chime in from the cheaters side. Your H gave you the crux of the problem when he said, "the whole situation is like a drug but he's going to his " dealers" house 5 days a week." You don't...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-24-2013, 09:41 AM
Replies: 48
Views: 1,810
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Why didn't you talk to me before you cheated?

LFTS, you are oh so right. I've always filed this under "God protects fools and idiots" because right about the time the EA was really heating up the OW relocated from a little less than 100 miles...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-24-2013, 05:46 AM
Replies: 48
Views: 1,810
Posted By sigma1299
Why didn't you talk to me before you cheated?

In my case I didn't realize I was missing anything until the OW appeared and suddenly started providing it. By the time I figured out I was in trouble I was already hooked on the crack pipe. My...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-23-2013, 06:07 PM
Replies: 88
Views: 4,147
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Need Advise! He doesnt understand the hurt he caused!

I'm sorry but at least you now know what you have. It's time to lawyer up and go ahead and file. You may still find that when you have him served he will come out of it but if he's shacked up with...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-23-2013, 01:51 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 351
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Helping WS during R - Questions for WS

Compartmentalization.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-23-2013, 12:39 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 351
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Helping WS during R - Questions for WS

Honestly the best thing you can do is hold them accountable. Doing the work to repair the damage you've caused is the very best thing to alleviate guilt. In holding your W accountable, if she plays...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-22-2013, 06:33 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 585
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Success stories?

Affairs are always about the cheater. They aren't about the BS, they aren't even about the AP - they are all about the person cheating. Affairs are perfectly selfish.
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-21-2013, 05:05 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 1,818
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Text Cheating ???

^^^^ Good advice ^^^^
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-21-2013, 04:34 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 1,818
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Text Cheating ???

Conventional wisdom on TAM is that the faithful spouse is NEVER the one to leave. As you said, she gets everything she wants and is really paying no price. Ordinarily you would get advice telling...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-21-2013, 04:29 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 585
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Success stories?

There are quite a few success stories here - my wife and I among them - but they are all very bloody and messy tales of pain, suffering and struggle. It is not an easy thing to reconcile post...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-21-2013, 04:24 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 1,818
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Text Cheating ???

A chance? Sure. It depends on you, it depends on her. If she is genuinely remorseful and willing to do the work to rebuild, and if you are willing to forgive her and work to move past her betrayal...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-21-2013, 02:19 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 1,407
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Am I Ruining Our Marriage Now?? Sorry....kinda long.

Great Wall of Text. Paragraphs please...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-21-2013, 08:51 AM
Replies: 88
Views: 4,147
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Need Advise! He doesnt understand the hurt he caused!

I mean this honestly...

CONGRATULATIONS

You need to be loose from this asshat. Maybe once he knows and accepts that he can no longer treat you this way the H you had years ago will return. ...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-19-2013, 12:13 PM
Replies: 88
Views: 4,147
Posted By sigma1299
Need Advise! He doesnt understand the hurt he caused!

((face palm)) This is so backwards it's tragic. Bottom line. Currently you are more afraid of divorce than your husband and he knows that. Everything he is saying to you is utter crap and you are...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 01-18-2013, 09:48 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,131
Posted By sigma1299
Re: Lance Armstrong... a Cheater

Didn't mean to imply anything incorrect or wrong with your post at all - my apologies if I did. I was just trying to continue the comparison of Lance's actions to those of wayward spouse. I'm...
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