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Search: Posts Made By: SurpriseMyself
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-20-2015, 02:29 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

Update:

This past Saturday I told my H I needed to be away from the house, that I was going to sign a lease on an apartment. He went for a walk before I left and took the 5 Love Languages book...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 01-20-2015, 02:15 PM
Replies: 184
Views: 5,045
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Updated situation on sexless marriage

Interesting that your quote is from the man's perspective. Maybe he does think the marriage is perfect. I'm thinking she doesn't. Deep down something is missing in how she feels about her man.

It...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 01-20-2015, 11:32 AM
Replies: 184
Views: 5,045
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Updated situation on sexless marriage

I think the original post points to a cause. If he chooses to connect with another woman emotionally rather than focus on the issue with his wife, I don't think it's much of a stretch to image other...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 01-20-2015, 11:22 AM
Replies: 184
Views: 5,045
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Updated situation on sexless marriage

Think of it this way: It may not be that she is LD. It may be that she has an emotionally based sex drive. This is so common for women.

I'll make a generalization and say that if a man married a...
Forum: Politics and Religion 01-20-2015, 10:53 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 987
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Don't go to a hostile country, MORON!!!

Those who paint others with a broad brush create a painting that can never portray the world as it truly is. The generalizations and stereotypes you make here say much more about you than they do...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-16-2015, 06:19 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

He doesn't make quite twice what I do, and the bonuses are not always a given, so using a reasonable bonus and what we each make, it turns out that way.

The irony is that he's been so convinced...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-16-2015, 06:17 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

I remember that one. And the title of my thread gets it wrong, too! Nice.
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-16-2015, 01:45 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

Both my H and I did an online child support calculator provided by the biggest law firm in our state. We both came up with the same number: $180. That's what he will pay me monthly and that includes...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-15-2015, 12:54 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

With bonuses he makes six figures.
Posted via Mobile Device

Hard to imagine that someone who makes that much would pay that little for child support for 2 kids.
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-15-2015, 12:00 AM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

I just did a quick calculator online to estimate child support. Even though he makes close to twice what I make, he would only pay $221 a month in child support. Can that be right?
Posted via Mobile...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 10:19 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

So my STBXH tells me tonight that he doesn't want to pay child support. He wants for both of us to keep all receipts for what we spend on the kids every month and then reconcile.

He is nuts!...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 08:59 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
It's an empty life with him, for sure. I've faced...

It's an empty life with him, for sure. I've faced serious issues in my life that demanded my attention. Now that my life has settled down, it's time to leave this dead marriage.
Posted via Mobile...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 08:56 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

Yep. Six years and not a word from him on the matter unless I bring it up, to which he responds that he knows I don't want to so he doesn't ask. But I've never turned him down. He knows that if he...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 08:44 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

He's never bothered. You may not recall this, but he hasn't initiated sex or even brought up the subject since we got married. We haven't had sex in probably six years now. Anything I bring up is too...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 07:13 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

My H is not an abusive man. He has been pushed to the brink. I'm honest with him, brutally honest in fact, and he, as a man who has walls up very high and doesn't like to deal with complicated things...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 04:36 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

He wouldn't show his anger if I didn't try to get him to communicate, or recognize what he's doing that isn't good. Most of the time he is a calm and rational person, but when he feels like I'm...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 03:57 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
He would likely call the police on me. And...

He would likely call the police on me.

And just as an aside, why are you so hard on me?
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 01-14-2015, 03:55 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 651
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: I am probably being petty, but...

Don't do it. You don't need to relive that hurt any longer than a moment. Move on! I'm sure it's hard, but you can of you try.
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Life After Divorce 01-14-2015, 03:00 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,174
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: How soon did you jump back into the dating pool?

Does it seem like women take their time post divorce while the men dive right back in? I guess since most women initiate divorce proceedings, we are more leery and need more time to heal.
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 01-14-2015, 02:54 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 2,069
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: What no one tells you about marriage

If your husband looks pissed and you ask him what's wrong and he doesn't want to talk about it, don't expect anything to get resolved.

That the person who doesn't open up is the one who kills the...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 01-14-2015, 02:51 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 2,069
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: What no one tells you about marriage

No one told me that just because you can and do communicate that it will do anything to save the marriage. That if the other party doesn't want to talk about why you aren't happy, then the marriage...
Forum: The Ladies' Lounge 01-14-2015, 12:40 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,498
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Desire, Passion, Physical Arousal, etc.

When I was young, I was very passionate. I felt huge passion for two men in particular, plus just a passion for life.

Ten years into a dead marriage with an emotionally isolated man and I have...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 12:25 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

I can't make him follow that parenting style. I have tried pulling him aside, tried conversations after the kids are in bed, tried getting us on the same page. Nothing works. He says that in the...
Forum: Considering Divorce or Separation 01-14-2015, 12:09 PM
Replies: 372
Views: 10,513
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Fool me once, shame on me...

I think it very much depends on the message each is delivering and HOW they are delivering it.

My H doesn't like it when I point out things that are true. I may not say things in a nice way, but I...
Forum: Physical & Mental Health Issues 01-14-2015, 12:00 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 347
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Emotionally mute husband

There are men who feel most comfortable not feeling, or at least not showing their feelings. Anger and frustration are ok, but anything else is stuffed and definitely not shared. It makes for a...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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