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Search: Keyword(s): ; Posts Made By: SurpriseMyself
Forum: Life After Divorce   04-19-2016, 08:24 PM
Replies: 51
Views: 2,216
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Online dating recommendations

As a woman on an online dating site, I'll simply say that the first exchanges matter. If you just say, "hi" it doesn't usually go anywhere. How do you start off?
Forum: Going Through Divorce or Separation   04-10-2016, 08:53 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 828
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Dating while separated - like a long distance, illicit relationship!

I'm not really feeling guilty so much as uncomfortable. I do feel it's a bit of a red flag, but really we haven't been seeing each other all that long so why would he tell her he's dating someone new...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   04-10-2016, 07:51 AM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: From LD to HD - can it happen?

So, update on this. The two of us were able to communicate, he apologized for his missteps, and we are actually dating again. Things are pretty good now, although I do not see him as often as I'd...
Forum: Going Through Divorce or Separation   04-10-2016, 07:41 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 828
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Dating while separated - like a long distance, illicit relationship!

I moved out 6 months ago and have been dating one man while separated for about six weeks now. I really like him, but there are a few things that I'm having trouble with at present.

We rarely get...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-25-2016, 07:35 AM
Replies: 120
Views: 7,322
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: I need Oral need Oral Sex to orgasm, but wife refuses.

I'm sorry you find yourself here. Women experience this more often than men, but to hear a man experience it and his wife not want to do her part is sad. It will ruin your marriage. Nothing to offer...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-25-2016, 07:24 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 2,549
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: A horrible practical joke!

I think most women know this. It's common knowledge to me.
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-25-2016, 06:57 AM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: From LD to HD - can it happen?

Yes, Staarz, you are right. And I'm back to report that, unfortunately, some things happened that killed the trust and emotions that could have been there between us.

For one, he made an...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-10-2016, 05:19 AM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: From LD to HD - can it happen?

Ah, but you see you are doing the very thing that my STBXH did... Not listening. I said above that I didn't want to be LD anymore. That I wanted and tried to work through our lack of sex and...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-09-2016, 01:59 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: From LD to HD - can it happen?

I will say that I tried for years and years to get us to work, but he was so defensive and passive aggressive that it never went anywhere. Whenever we would discuss our lack of a sex life, which he...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-09-2016, 01:55 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: From LD to HD - can it happen?

I do hope it continues, and I am a bit careful but I'm not guarding my heart. I'm not out for casual sex, so my heart has to be in it for me to be aroused and desiring him.
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-09-2016, 12:50 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: From LD to HD - can it happen?

I'm sure that's true, but I've never been like this before. I think it's a combination of things: we're just starting out, he's really, really, really good in the bedroom, and I've been working on me...
Forum: Sex in Marriage   03-09-2016, 12:36 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,590
Posted By SurpriseMyself
From LD to HD - can it happen?

So, the short backstory on me is that I've always thought I was LD. I have trust issues and some other physical things that have gotten in the way of enjoying sex the way I should.

Combine that...
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-29-2016, 05:08 AM
Replies: 174
Views: 4,852
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Donald Trump and Women

Trump is playing this like my STBXH. He talks around his transgressions, carefully neither admitting nor denying anything. He's not a trustworthy man, but of course anyone who names building after...
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-28-2016, 10:27 PM
Replies: 174
Views: 4,852
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Donald Trump and Women

He's in hot water again for lying about not knowing David duke, his endorsement by Duke and the backing of the KKK. Rubio thinks it's awful that Trump didn't renounce Duke....

What do you think?...
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-28-2016, 12:51 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

When we join our incomes, it pushed me into a higher tax bracket. His tax bracket stays the same whether he files married jointly or married separately. I'm going to do the numbers today to see what...
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-27-2016, 03:01 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

And oddly enough for me, I will do better to file my taxes as Married - Filing Separately because I make nearly what my H does. The tax code favors one income, but penalizes two. I'm better off...
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-27-2016, 02:58 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

He uses H&R Block Software - no accountant.
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-25-2016, 10:27 AM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

He said he gave about $1000 to his church and has no other deductions other than taxes, mortgage interest, health insurance premiums, etc. nearly the same as us. We have the same number of kids.
...
Forum: Life After Divorce   02-24-2016, 10:24 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 2,718
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Needle in a haystack?

Funny, because I bet there are tons of women on online dating sites in your age range. Are you doing online dating?
Posted via Mobile Device
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-24-2016, 08:38 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

How is it fair? He can deduct interest on his big house and have less federal tax withheld, less state, and still have money coming back.
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-24-2016, 08:37 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

He says he files Married Jointly, not Head of Household.
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-24-2016, 08:35 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

He claims 4 federal and 2 state and doesn't have any additional $ withheld. That means his employer takes out the appropriate amount, just like mine does.
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-24-2016, 08:02 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

But that is completely counter to what I just said above. He is one person making nearly the same as us combined, but because he has a much bigger house and pays more interest and more taxes on it,...
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-24-2016, 07:44 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Re: Taxes - cards stacked against us

Yep. I'm googling that now. Amazing. It's like they are punishing both men and women who can't live on one income. It would be better for us to be divorced and single than married and filing jointly....
Forum: Politics and Religion   02-24-2016, 07:17 PM
Replies: 71
Views: 2,088
Posted By SurpriseMyself
Taxes - cards stacked against us

I got into a conversation about federal and state allowances with my boss. He says he claims 4 on his federal and 2 on his state and always gets money back. This year he'll get over $4k back. His...
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