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Search took 0.33 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: deejov
Forum: The Men's Clubhouse Today, 09:53 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 205
Posted By deejov
Re: She say I am controlling

You know me... I'm blunt.

The fact that you would post a thread and ask opinions about whether or not she is right ... is telling.

How you take that is up to you, not trying to be judgemental....
Forum: Sex in Marriage Today, 09:40 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

I'm not trying to entice anyone to be negative about this... but just more truthful. About you are asking for, and what you are really getting. Sometimes it means lowering your expectations... with...
Forum: Sex in Marriage Today, 09:28 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

Update to how much more this is affecting me than I was ready to admit... I should have gone home early from work, my attitude sucked today. Still does LOL.


I'm definately not sleeping very...
Forum: Sex in Marriage Today, 09:15 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

They want everything to be just pleasant, even and simple

Who doesn't? And.... here's a question... why shouldn't it be this way for you?

Complacency, acceptance that it is your job to keep...
Forum: Sex in Marriage Today, 07:28 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

Anon,
I used to hold up the marriage all by myself too.
When I tried using boundaries instead, I found 1\10th of the effort reaped 1000x the benefits. And it was much less resentful. Plus it felt...
Forum: Sex in Marriage Yesterday, 10:40 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

All that you have said here is not to make you feel resentment... but just to encourage some questions about yourself.

Discussing things at length seldom works. Action does. He is using actions,...
Forum: Sex in Marriage Yesterday, 10:33 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

I've been on auto pilot for awhile, I can simply continue doing so.

Life will be okay, there is no pain that I will not overcome, with time.
I'm still working through it. Being careful not to...
Forum: Sex in Marriage Yesterday, 10:29 PM
Replies: 415
Views: 14,581
Posted By deejov
Re: How do I fix this?

I was thinking you might be wondering how to maintain that boundary, and you are right to be cautious about it for awhile.
That's where the questioning comes in, asking if it makes you uncomfotable,...
Forum: Going Through Divorce or Separation 05-19-2013, 11:59 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 342
Posted By deejov
Re: First Time Here

HD is high sex drive,
I'm a problem solver too. Makes me excellent at my job.

The definition of passive aggressive actions is crazy making behavior.

It's not a reflection on you. It really...
Forum: Going Through Divorce or Separation 05-19-2013, 11:23 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 342
Posted By deejov
Re: First Time Here

Sorry you are going through this, but glad you found TAM (and Conrad).

I have a similar husband. Alcohol, passive aggressive tendencies, unusual childhood ,resulting in a lack of relationship...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 10:55 PM
Replies: 415
Views: 14,581
Posted By deejov
Re: How do I fix this?

Regardless of what happens tomorrow or next week, enjoy the moments this week. That is what is important. The rest of life will work itself out, as it's meant to be.

Let him know you appreciate...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 10:49 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

The things you have written about wanting... are things that most women stereotypically say they want. They want romance, in general. They want to be treated like a woman once in awhile.

You got...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 10:19 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

Cosmos, he has not put it all in one sentence, but has said repeatedly that I seem to think that's all a relationship is about, and then says I don't respect him enough.

I do want to tell him that...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 06:32 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

You did the right thing. The book might help him see that he is not hearing what you want. Other than you talking.

He is the one that might be giving you what he wants instead.
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 06:30 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

Cosmos,
His drive disappeared right after the 1st pregnancy loss, which was understandable. So 5 months after we got married, it started to decline. Before that, we dated for 2 years. He couldn't...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 06:16 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 911
Posted By deejov
Re: Resurfaced...

OP,
I felt this very same way just two days ago. Many conversations about what my needs are as the wife, get dismissed.

I was even chatised for not being grateful enough for what he has done for...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 06:06 PM
Replies: 415
Views: 14,581
Posted By deejov
Re: How do I fix this?

Another test. You put conditions on it.
( with him reciprocating after) but that it was just this time and in no way meant I had changed my mind about how I felt.

Awesome! Even in a pinch, with...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 06:00 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

I'm not sure.
He came home last night after I went to bed, and ran out of the house at 730 this morning. I was at my son's most of the day... home about an hour ago, I phoned him. What about the...
Forum: Relationships and Addiction 05-19-2013, 05:45 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 138
Posted By deejov
Re: Grrr... frustrated with hubby again

I totally understand what you are saying. I've been there.
Worried that H was not going to be able to go to work, call and tell him "please please don't drive" oh gosh I've done it all.

I MADE...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 05:34 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

Walking, I had "planned" both ways.
Wait until October.
If (big if) he is still sober, still employed, I was more than willing to take a good hard look at staying.

I've been saving money. For...
Forum: Relationships and Addiction 05-19-2013, 05:00 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 138
Posted By deejov
Re: Grrr... frustrated with hubby again

You don't. Trust again, anyways. Not for a long time.
Whether it's drinking or gambling, an affair, once you know how to look for the behavior, you will always see it.

He's proven he is just...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-19-2013, 04:51 PM
Replies: 217
Views: 4,629
Posted By deejov
Re: Value Meal

I can live like you describe... and did, for many years. I don't have Aspergers, but I did have a huge emotional disconnect going in my life, and a therapist kept telling me I was "missing" out on...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-18-2013, 05:19 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

JustSomeGuy,
I hear what you are saying. It is different, maybe for a woman.
I wanted to comment on the "be a man"....
This sums up in 3 words what I wanted him to do.

I do not have much...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-18-2013, 05:01 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

DTO, I am sooo sorry to hear your son did not survive. My heartfelt sympathies. Why your son and not my husband?

H was dx in 1975, deemed cured in 1990. I've gone through what you mean in my head,...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 05-18-2013, 03:01 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,237
Posted By deejov
Re: Deejov's story : Sexless Marriage

Feeling a bit better now. Thanks to everyone.
Need to let him go, and make his own path in life.

I've asked myself if this is hurt or anger.
The answer is pain. Revenge isn't going to solve my...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500
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