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Search: Posts Made By: tamuser
Forum: Long Term Success in Marriage 06-27-2012, 04:52 PM
Replies: 232
Views: 53,160
Posted By tamuser
Re: How We overcame adultery

just read the whole thread. Bestblu - the part about examining where your self esteem comes from was very helpful for me. I'm going to think about that for a while.

You and one other poster said...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-29-2012, 03:19 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,261
Posted By tamuser
Re: no love for the devil's advocate

A little self-honesty - I'm probably not completely aware of my tone of voice when I'm talking. I know she often isn't. I *believe* I'm being calm and measured, but I'm sure I express frustration...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-29-2012, 02:11 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,261
Posted By tamuser
Re: no love for the devil's advocate

I'm for it. :)

edit: but seriously - I've read about fitness tests. Could that be what she's doing? It does feel that way sometimes.
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-29-2012, 01:06 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,261
Posted By tamuser
Re: no love for the devil's advocate

Thanks again.

Any general experience on how this should be done? Let's assume there aren't any concrete job-threatening issues (even though there are sometimes). I have a fear that if I give...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-29-2012, 12:25 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,261
Posted By tamuser
Re: no love for the devil's advocate

Thanks, and well put. Our posts probably crossed on the wire, so let me restate my "edit" above:

I've read about women just wanting someone to listen, and I believe it - maybe here I'm asking for...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-29-2012, 12:13 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,261
Posted By tamuser
Re: no love for the devil's advocate

I should have been more clear - the norm is that she does ask what to do, even throwing my professional qualifications at me as a reason I should advise her.

I've tried being evasive - sometimes...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 02-29-2012, 11:40 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,261
Posted By tamuser
no love for the devil's advocate

I need help on the issue of providing emotional support for my wife. When she approaches me with, for instance, a work situation where she's in a conflict and is looking for my take on it, I have...
Forum: Long Term Success in Marriage 02-24-2012, 01:51 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 6,418
Posted By tamuser
Re: Men, please listen (and not just hear) when we speak

two things come to mind:

1) my wife loves to talk *at length* about her job/school/whatever - often, there's nothing for me to do but say "mmm-hmmm" and nod, or the occasional "you did fine" or...
Forum: Sex in Marriage 02-22-2012, 08:22 PM
Replies: 136
Views: 20,461
Posted By tamuser
Re: Be Honest: Does Size Matter?

I guess so - but looking forward to a lifetime of missionary and her on top facing forward... :(
Forum: Sex in Marriage 02-22-2012, 07:31 PM
Replies: 136
Views: 20,461
Posted By tamuser
Re: Be Honest: Does Size Matter?

While we're on the subject of matching, if the husband is too long for the wife to handle any rear entry positions, is there anything to be done about that? Any good ways to work around the issue?
Forum: Sex in Marriage 02-21-2012, 06:08 PM
Replies: 136
Views: 20,461
Posted By tamuser
Re: Be Honest: Does Size Matter?

two follow-on questions:

1) does size preference vary during the menstrual cycle (e.g., closer to ovulation, maybe bigger is better, other times not so much)?

2) whenever I hear "it's not how...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-19-2012, 12:39 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

Thanks again, everyone. I should have been more specific - she told me the details about the sex long ago. What I'm missing are the details about what they talked about during the long distance EA,...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-17-2012, 04:13 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

Thanks everyone - feeling much better today.

My wife sat down and did her best to answer all my questions. I did have to push - your comments steeled my resolve, but most importantly somehow...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-17-2012, 11:24 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

Thanks for all the replies - I knew my insistence on assuming there had been no more cheating would be suspicious - I just wasn't in the state of mind to go into details (impossible to prove a...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-16-2012, 08:56 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

Fair enough - I'll start looking.

Anything I can do right now?
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-16-2012, 08:55 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

I copy/pasted that username (without the apostrophe-s) into the search for threads started by user, and nothing came up - any good way to find it?
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-16-2012, 08:37 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

I've had some individual counseling, but mostly at times when it wasn't bugging me so bad. We've done counseling together, but always got focused on issues other than the affair.

Once I started...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-16-2012, 08:29 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
Re: 18 years on - help!

Well, know them, for one... I do have the mental movies that everyone talks about here - they come up with triggers. I believe knowing all the details will help. Also, I want to know more about...
Forum: Coping with Infidelity 02-16-2012, 08:20 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,298
Posted By tamuser
18 years on - help!

My wife of 21 years cheated on me 18 years ago - EA during a school related separation that went to PA during a visit afterward (one time). She told me in anger 17 years ago. She had cut it off with...
Showing results 1 to 19 of 19

 
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