Self-Help Marriage & Relationship ProgramsThis section is for talking about the various programs available for do-it-yourself relationship help and marriage advice.
TITLE:The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work RATING:****1/2 (of 5 stars) AUTHOR(s):John Gottman, Nan Silver PUBLISHER:Three Rivers Press paperback 288 pags ISBN:0609805797 WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:He drives home the need for friendship and communications.
Here is an example of how it works.
Just hit the quote on the first post then fill in the rest if you can. You can delete the quotes if you want to have the look I do above. Try to give a longer discription then I did so people really know what they will be geting from the book.
TITLE:Seat of the Soul RATING:****1/2 (of 5 stars) AUTHOR(s):Gary Zukav WHAT I LIKED:Feeling like i had been disillusioned in my marriage i became very angry. i felt like everything i was going through was something i should have never had to deal with. i thought the lies and deceit i had to deal with were completely unfair. This book has changed my perspective and calmed my anger. Even though this book teaches about reincarnation and I do not personally believe in that, I found the lessons to be helpful anyway. Its about changing one's perspective to view pain and suffering as a healing process. Its about having more awareness about what one is putting out and how that is effecting what one is getting in return. It teaches one how to deal compassionately with offenses by not judging another. This book will help no matter what situation you are in because its about healing yourself and focusing on becoming a more enlighten person.
TITLE:Safe Haven Marriage RATING:**** AUTHOR(s):Dr. Archibald D. Hart/Dr. Sharon Hart Morris PUBLISHER:W Publishing Group ISBN:0-7852-8947-X WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:Great for improving communication/promotes understanding and emotional closeness. I liked the section on healing.
TITLE:It's A Guy Thing. An Owner's Manual for Women RATING:*** AUTHOR(s):David Deida PUBLISHER:Health Communications, Inc. ISBN:978-1-55874-464-6 WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:I liked his direct approach on highlighting fundamental differences between men and women. It did make me look at things differently...for example, if my husband is focused on a ball game or woodworking project not to take it personal if he can't 'switch gears' and have a conversation with me. What I didn't like was how in some ways he seemed to generalize men.
TITLE:The Five Love Languages RATING:**** AUTHOR(s):Gary Chapman PUBLISHER:Northfield Publishing ISBN:1881273156 WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:
The Five Love Languages really is a must read for just about everyone, hopefully before they get married.
The author states that people each have a specific "language" they speak when it comes to love. They use this language to show their love for someone else, and it is the language they understand most in turn. He breaks it down into five primary languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Unfortunately, few couples speak the same "love language" and that's where things fall apart once the honeymoon phase (anywhere from 6 months to 2 years) ends.
In order for a marriage to be truly happy, each partner needs to find out from their spouse exactly what it is that makes them feel most connected and loved, and then make doing that a priority. While the book tends to give examples of extremes (if "Words of Affirmation" is your primary language then you can't understand or need any of the others at all) and I tend to think in reality people can have two, or even more, languages that are important to them, it is still an excellent book to help you figure out what your language is and the importance of both partners to focus on what their spouse needs most.
The other great thing about this book is that is not just written for a spouse feeling in trouble, it's not about solving a specific issue, and it's not preachy. It is as important to read before a marriage starts as it is after a chasm has already been opened. It's about helping both partners stop making assumptions about their spouses needs based on their own, and helping them uncover the necessary information they need to show each other love in the way that is most important to each.
TITLE:The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
RATING:****
AUTHOR(s): Dr. Laura Schlessinger
PUBLISHER:HarperCollins Publisher
ISBN:0-06-089635-3
WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED: I personally liked the overall theme which is shared by many other marriage books (The 5 Love Languages, the movie Fireproof, etc.) that the real key is to focus on giving and what you are doing to make your spouse happy, rather than on what he isn't doing. I am most at peace with my role as wife/mother and until I realized that my career doesn't do much for me (other than $) I think I was pulled in different directions as far as where my focus should be and I never felt happy...always scrambling to get through each day. So her views that feminism have had a negative impact on marriages and traditional roles of the husband/wife may not be for everyone but I could relate in a positive way to what she had to say.
TITLE: Relationship Rescue book and workbook RATING:**** AUTHOR(s): Dr. Phil McGraw WHAT I LIKED: Dr. Phil really hit the nail on the head with how i was feeling. There was a lot in my marriage that I thought was just unfair. I wanted to "fix" my H. I thought if he would just change xyz then i could be happy. After reading this book I learned that was not what love was and to be truly happy I needed to respect who he was and let him express himself. i wanted to change my H so i could be happy, and we could have a good relationship. but by reading about how to respect mine and my H's boundaries, and make myself happy, i was able to not take everything my H does so personally.
The only thing i didnt like about this book was it was redundant. He says the same things over and over and over.
TITLE: Boundaries in Marriage book & workbook, 2006 RATING:*** AUTHOR(s): Henry Cloud & John Townsend WHAT I LIKED: Again, just emphasis how to clear up resentment and learn to actually love your spouse.
The only thing i dont like about this book is it is very religion centered.
TITLE:The Five Love Languages RATING:**** AUTHOR(s):Gary Chapman PUBLISHER:Northfield Publishing ISBN:1881273156 WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:
The Five Love Languages really is a must read for just about everyone, hopefully before they get married.
The author states that people each have a specific "language" they speak when it comes to love. They use this language to show their love for someone else, and it is the language they understand most in turn. He breaks it down into five primary languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Unfortunately, few couples speak the same "love language" and that's where things fall apart once the honeymoon phase (anywhere from 6 months to 2 years) ends.
In order for a marriage to be truly happy, each partner needs to find out from their spouse exactly what it is that makes them feel most connected and loved, and then make doing that a priority. While the book tends to give examples of extremes (if "Words of Affirmation" is your primary language then you can't understand or need any of the others at all) and I tend to think in reality people can have two, or even more, languages that are important to them, it is still an excellent book to help you figure out what your language is and the importance of both partners to focus on what their spouse needs most.
The other great thing about this book is that is not just written for a spouse feeling in trouble, it's not about solving a specific issue, and it's not preachy. It is as important to read before a marriage starts as it is after a chasm has already been opened. It's about helping both partners stop making assumptions about their spouses needs based on their own, and helping them uncover the necessary information they need to show each other love in the way that is most important to each.
I have to agree with this book as a MUST read. I bought it this morning, and am already half way thru it. I'm still learning what my wife and I are for languages but I have no doubt this book is a positive influence for marriages.
TITLE: Relationship Rescue book and workbook RATING:**** AUTHOR(s): Dr. Phil McGraw WHAT I LIKED: Dr. Phil really hit the nail on the head with how i was feeling. There was a lot in my marriage that I thought was just unfair. I wanted to "fix" my H. I thought if he would just change xyz then i could be happy. After reading this book I learned that was not what love was and to be truly happy I needed to respect who he was and let him express himself. i wanted to change my H so i could be happy, and we could have a good relationship. but by reading about how to respect mine and my H's boundaries, and make myself happy, i was able to not take everything my H does so personally.
The only thing i didnt like about this book was it was redundant. He says the same things over and over and over.
TITLE: Boundaries in Marriage book & workbook, 2006 RATING:*** AUTHOR(s): Henry Cloud & John Townsend WHAT I LIKED: Again, just emphasis how to clear up resentment and learn to actually love your spouse.
The only thing i dont like about this book is it is very religion centered.
I think I will try this one, I think I could get some good advice from it.
TITLE: Please put the toilet seat down and 49 other cluetoons to help him improve your relationship
RATING:****1/2 (of 5 stars)
AUTHOR(s): Darcy Frew
ILLUSTRATOR: John Blair Moore
PUBLISHER:Libra Press
ISBN:978-0615216232
WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:I liked this book because it's meant for women to give to their significant other. The book book is a quick read and covers a variety of relationship topics, like helping with the housework, the children, finances, intimacy, etc. Each topic has a cartoon, so the male will be more willing to read it. It was really fun to read with my husband and it worked! He started helping me around the house and showing more appreciation for what I do. It's worth checking out. You can buy it directly from the book website at Cluetoons.com or it's on Amazon as well.
TITLE: The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict RATING: **** AUTHOR(s): The Arbinger Institute ISBN-13: 978-1576753347 WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:
This was a great read. This book talks about going to war (in ones relationships) with a heart at peace. I very much feel that marriage is the art of war. I really liked the focus of building the relationship, creating a strong foundation, and working one's way up the ladder to correcting unwanted behaviors.
"The choice between peace and war lies within us."
TITLE:The Five Love Languages RATING:**** AUTHOR(s):Gary Chapman PUBLISHER:Northfield Publishing ISBN:1881273156 WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED:
The Five Love Languages really is a must read for just about everyone, hopefully before they get married.
The author states that people each have a specific "language" they speak when it comes to love. They use this language to show their love for someone else, and it is the language they understand most in turn. He breaks it down into five primary languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Unfortunately, few couples speak the same "love language" and that's where things fall apart once the honeymoon phase (anywhere from 6 months to 2 years) ends.
In order for a marriage to be truly happy, each partner needs to find out from their spouse exactly what it is that makes them feel most connected and loved, and then make doing that a priority. While the book tends to give examples of extremes (if "Words of Affirmation" is your primary language then you can't understand or need any of the others at all) and I tend to think in reality people can have two, or even more, languages that are important to them, it is still an excellent book to help you figure out what your language is and the importance of both partners to focus on what their spouse needs most.
The other great thing about this book is that is not just written for a spouse feeling in trouble, it's not about solving a specific issue, and it's not preachy. It is as important to read before a marriage starts as it is after a chasm has already been opened. It's about helping both partners stop making assumptions about their spouses needs based on their own, and helping them uncover the necessary information they need to show each other love in the way that is most important to each.
Excellent summary by BlueCreek. I just read this and would give it 5 stars! It is easy to read, and there will be many take aways for anyone who reads it! I too wish I had read it MANY years ago. I have already given copies to 3 friends!!
TITLE:Not Just Friends
RATING:****
AUTHOR(s):S. Glass
PUBLISHER:
ISBN:
WHAT YOU LIKED/DISLIKED: Deals primarily with Emotional Affairs, while most books seem to assume there is always sex involved. Goes through everything from how you may have gotten to the where you are to what you might need to consider for your future.
Only "dislike" was my wife trying to use her list of "risk factors" as a list of excuses. But that's not the books fault.
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