Beating your head against a wall a little harder - Talk About Marriage
Self-Help Marriage & Relationship Programs This section is for talking about the various programs available for do-it-yourself relationship help and marriage advice.

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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 07-30-2014, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
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Beating your head against a wall a little harder

I have to admit that I'm somewhat appalled by what I see here in terms of self-help programs. In another thread I see people having a love affair with Mort Fertel and his overpriced snake oil. In other threads I see people not only recommending quack books and programs but even using their jargon as though this is some kind of established wisdom.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen people gush the same way over numerology, astrology, crystals, Reiki, homeopathy, and whatever dietary supplement of the month that is supposed to give you energy and good health.

I used to watch 1 Week To Save Your Marriage. Dr. Robi Ludwig had some kind of five step process. It was clear to me that its chances of working were slim at best. Yet she was confident that she was helping instead of just promoting herself which was pretty much all she was doing. Dr. Phil is pretty much the same, more self-promoter than therapist.

I can't be more honest about this. There is no program anywhere that can save your marriage that fits on a 1 hour CD that you can listen to in your spare time. There is no 15 CD set that will save your marriage. I hear the praises, some are thunderous enough to shake the rafters but in reality you might as well be talking about a one line fortune you got out of a cookie.

You can buy stacks and stacks of self-help books and I guarantee that they will all fail. In fact, I'll give you a guarantee that is better than Mort Fertel's money-back guarantee. He claims that he'll refund your money but I'll actually give you $100. Of course, I'll have the same requirement as our good con-artist friend, Mr. Fertel, you have to buy a 1 hour session for $600 first. That doesn't sound like much of a guarantee, does it? Yet, it's funny that the bar is so much lower for a con-artist when you claim to be helping people. The truth is that con-artists like Mr. Fertel prey on vulnerable people who are emotionally distraught much as get-rich-quick con-artists prey on those who are out of work and desperate to earn money. Different story, same result.

But, no, not your dear friend, self-help quack Dr. X who can see into your very soul and who with unmatched wisdom taught you so many wonderful things that never actually helped you but nevertheless were so valuable. No, you'll recommend your self-help guru to everyone with unbridled praise. And,you'll keep banging your head into the wall until eventually, you either realize that you are hurting yourself or you're unconscious on the floor. Then maybe you'll actually figure out something.

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 07-30-2014, 04:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Beating your head against a wall a little harder

I find Dr. Harley's books to be very pedestrian. In other words, there is not a lot of wisdom in them; it's mostly advice you could get from anywhere. And, they are too limited. However, I don't think there is much in his books that are harmful. On the other hand, Mort Fertel's books and materials can cause a great deal of harm. Fertel's advice is often worse than no advice at all. Mr. Fertel has no background or education in psychology. His only claim to knowing anything about relationships is...that is says so. He is a con-man. And, yet he has so many fans here that his thread is on sticky. Maybe we should create some quack diet and get-rich-quick threads on sticky as well.

Now, sure, someone could ask why I think I know more about relationships than Mr. Fertel. Well, I'm not the one trying to scam people for $240 for a few CDs and booklets or $600/hr for my personal attention.

Last edited by scientia; 07-30-2014 at 04:35 PM.
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