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post #16 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-07-2014, 09:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorce Busting

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Higher success rate than what?
Do counselors in the Myth Busting network have a higher rate of saving marriages than other counselors?

Why did you seek them out?

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post #17 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-07-2014, 10:12 PM
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Re: Divorce Busting

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Do counselors in the Myth Busting network have a higher rate of saving marriages than other counselors?

Why did you seek them out?
"Myth Busting"? I have no idea what network that is.
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post #18 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 02:11 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

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Does their network have a higher success rate or is it just marketing? (Don't all marriage counselors try first to save?) I don't mean to sound cynical but you have the best first-hand knowledge so far and you seem to be implying that.
Any network will tell you there is better than any of the others. There are no true stats for success rates
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post #19 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 07:23 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

Yeah, there's definitely a bit of salesmanship involved in some of that stuff.

I'm personally on the fence about marriage counseling. We personally had good experiences with it but I also think it's used to prop up marriages that are at the end of the day and for whatever reason irreconcilable.

And I think, perhaps a bit cynically, that *some* marriage counselors encourage that dynamic such that the industry becomes a bit self-perpetuating. Not all, of course, as I said my wife and I (and many here) have had good experiences with them.

However, I would also argue that (and I can't believe I'm about to say this) I've found TAM to be more helpful than counseling, along with a few go-to books.
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post #20 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 09:18 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

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"Myth Busting"? I have no idea what network that is.
It's not the Discovery Channel, my kids love Mythbusters!

(Sorry I couldn't resist)
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post #21 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 09:27 AM Thread Starter
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post #22 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 10:24 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

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from the group.....

Quote:
"Against Divorce

Group Maintained by ladymisato

This is a group for those who are against divorce for religious, social, cultural, or other reasons. Mend it, don't end it.

Explore ways to encourage others to value and respect marriage for life. Find solutions to difficult marriages that don't lead to divorce."
And, the most important part.... go to her website to drive up the hits and buy her self published book.
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post #23 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 10:54 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

I am patently offended at her predatory presence here, trying to make a buck off the pain of posters and will use this as my first opportunity to utilize the ignore button
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post #24 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 11:24 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

What bothers me is the lack of informed consent.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #25 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 11:44 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

Full disclosure is a problem with you Lady M... so here.. I'll help you be more forthrite...

From her book.... this is the closing part after you have fully brainwashed and created addiction in your spouse to your "power", the last step is "closure" by which... see bolded below...

************************************************** *****************************


Lily (wife says): I listened patiently but it was a long letter full of big ideas about men and women and marriage. When he was done I asked him, “does this mean you surrender to me?” I wanted him to say that out loud. He said, “yes,” in this soft mousy voice. But I wanted him to say it with more conviction like he was making a solemn vow.

Bob (Husband says): [Wipes a tear from his eye] I said, “I surrender myself to you with all my heart and soul.”

Closure is the final step in the transformation of your marriage. When you bring closure you reveal all subterfuge and establish a policy of domestic honesty and openness. What you are after is not simply to answer his questions but to give him the opportunity to directly face the transformation of your marriage and willingly embrace it. Up this point you, of course, know what’s been going on. Your husband may even suspect what’s been going on. But it is not common knowledge in your marriage. You don’t know that he knows and he doesn’t know that you know that he knows, and so on. Closure replaces ignorance and suspicion with common knowledge. After closure, everything is out in the open. You should only attempt closure when you are confident that he is firmly addicted to your domination of the marriage and you are confortable with all the techniques that caused him to submit to you because closure will usually present a crisis and often a rebellion if it is not in response to one.


************************************************** ********************************************

by the way.... at the end of her book (which I skipped to by the way) she has a caveat about offering coaching services, so the book is just a gateway as is her participation in this forum.

Buyer beware....

This has been brought to you courtesy of Blossom Leigh... Thank you, Thank you very much....


The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom. - Anais Nin
Never underestimate the potential for things to improve in ways you cannot yet imagine. Karen Rohlf
Be soft as possible, but firm as necessary - Pat Parelli

Blossom's Road of Recovery and Reconciliation
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post #26 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 11:56 AM
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Re: Divorce Busting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blossom Leigh View Post
Full disclosure is a problem with you Lady M... so here.. I'll help you be more forthrite...

From her book.... this is the closing part after you have fully brainwashed and created addiction in your spouse to your "power", the last step is "closure" by which... see bolded below...

************************************************** *****************************


Lily (wife says): I listened patiently but it was a long letter full of big ideas about men and women and marriage. When he was done I asked him, “does this mean you surrender to me?” I wanted him to say that out loud. He said, “yes,” in this soft mousy voice. But I wanted him to say it with more conviction like he was making a solemn vow.

Bob (Husband says): [Wipes a tear from his eye] I said, “I surrender myself to you with all my heart and soul.”

Closure is the final step in the transformation of your marriage. When you bring closure you reveal all subterfuge and establish a policy of domestic honesty and openness. What you are after is not simply to answer his questions but to give him the opportunity to directly face the transformation of your marriage and willingly embrace it. Up this point you, of course, know what’s been going on. Your husband may even suspect what’s been going on. But it is not common knowledge in your marriage. You don’t know that he knows and he doesn’t know that you know that he knows, and so on. Closure replaces ignorance and suspicion with common knowledge. After closure, everything is out in the open. You should only attempt closure when you are confident that he is firmly addicted to your domination of the marriage and you are confortable with all the techniques that caused him to submit to you because closure will usually present a crisis and often a rebellion if it is not in response to one.


************************************************** ********************************************

by the way.... at the end of her book (which I skipped to by the way) she has a caveat about offering coaching services, so the book is just a gateway as is her participation in this forum.

Buyer beware....

This has been brought to you courtesy of Blossom Leigh... Thank you, Thank you very much....
Working forums is a good way to drive traffic to a web site and to sell a book. It's social media 101. What she is up to is very clear.

There are men who believe that the way to a good marriage is to abuse their wives...even with physical abuse and to beat them down into submission. Yes there are websites that support this path to marital bliss. I doubt that the moderators here would allow someone from one of those sites to use TAM to dive traffic to their site and make money off their sick way of life. So I don't get why someone who is peddling the female version of using abuse/control is being allowed to use TAM to sell their snake oil.
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post #27 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 12:34 PM
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Re: Divorce Busting

You know, EleGirl, I would agree with you that the mods shouldn't allow this kind of stuff, but you know, they allowed all that MMSL stuff, too, remember? And though the frameworks are slightly different, from a broad perspective they're both about manipulating your partner for the "betterment" of the marriage, with you constantly in control, and with sex being the focal point.

Don't get me wrong, I think *neither* should be allowed. I will say, though, that I'm glad I've been exposed to this. Seeing this from the male perspective helps me appreciate better how all you ladies felt when all the MMSL stuff was so big here.
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post #28 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 01:09 PM
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Re: Divorce Busting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blossom Leigh View Post
Full disclosure is a problem with you Lady M... so here.. I'll help you be more forthrite...

From her book.... this is the closing part after you have fully brainwashed and created addiction in your spouse to your "power", the last step is "closure" by which... see bolded below...

************************************************** *****************************


Lily (wife says): I listened patiently but it was a long letter full of big ideas about men and women and marriage. When he was done I asked him, “does this mean you surrender to me?” I wanted him to say that out loud. He said, “yes,” in this soft mousy voice. But I wanted him to say it with more conviction like he was making a solemn vow.

Bob (Husband says): [Wipes a tear from his eye] I said, “I surrender myself to you with all my heart and soul.”

Closure is the final step in the transformation of your marriage. When you bring closure you reveal all subterfuge and establish a policy of domestic honesty and openness. What you are after is not simply to answer his questions but to give him the opportunity to directly face the transformation of your marriage and willingly embrace it. Up this point you, of course, know what’s been going on. Your husband may even suspect what’s been going on. But it is not common knowledge in your marriage. You don’t know that he knows and he doesn’t know that you know that he knows, and so on. Closure replaces ignorance and suspicion with common knowledge. After closure, everything is out in the open. You should only attempt closure when you are confident that he is firmly addicted to your domination of the marriage and you are confortable with all the techniques that caused him to submit to you because closure will usually present a crisis and often a rebellion if it is not in response to one.


************************************************** ********************************************

by the way.... at the end of her book (which I skipped to by the way) she has a caveat about offering coaching services, so the book is just a gateway as is her participation in this forum.

Buyer beware....

This has been brought to you courtesy of Blossom Leigh... Thank you, Thank you very much....


The brain can be deceived and can misread signs and can at times be wrong.The heart doesn't care about facts and is frequently wrong.The "little head" is almost always wrong.

But the gut is very very rarely ever wrong.
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post #29 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 01:29 PM
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Re: Divorce Busting

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Originally Posted by Davelli0331 View Post
You know, EleGirl, I would agree with you that the mods shouldn't allow this kind of stuff, but you know, they allowed all that MMSL stuff, too, remember? And though the frameworks are slightly different, from a broad perspective they're both about manipulating your partner for the "betterment" of the marriage, with you constantly in control, and with sex being the focal point.

Don't get me wrong, I think *neither* should be allowed. I will say, though, that I'm glad I've been exposed to this. Seeing this from the male perspective helps me appreciate better how all you ladies felt when all the MMSL stuff was so big here.
I have only skimmed MMSL, but I don't think it is even in the same category.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #30 of 50 (permalink) Old 08-08-2014, 02:03 PM
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Re: Divorce Busting

This might be a bit off topic but I had to post this the following is not by me I found this comment on a article by Michele Weiner-Davis tiled "The Biggest Divorce "Don't" of All and I think this statement it's fairly accurate


As a marriage and family therapist with over 30 years in practice I know some marriages are dead. These include people, mostly women, who chose to get married but didn't want to be married, teen marriages that people have entered into to escape their home or to fulfill some romantic fantasy but have no intention of accepting the responsibilities of marriage. These can include men who expect their new wife to fulfill the roles of mother plus sexual availability or women who want a husband to be like a daddy and take care of them rather than act like a responsible adult.



If one spouse wants children and the other refuses then ending that marriage for a more compatible one is an option. Dead marriages include marriages where the marriage is a cover for homosexuality and no bond ever formed. I respectfully disagree with Michele. I have known her work for many years and many people have found help working with her. To say to avoid a therapist that says a marriage is "dead" and who can help clients create new relationships built on mature acceptance of the choice to be married is harsh. People change. Many do not fulfill their marriage promises so the relationship commitment dies. One person cannot make a marriage. Children are often better served by step parents than biological parents. Save your marriage if you can but if not learn to grieve your loss and recreate your life based on what you have learned.


Michele Weiner-Davis: The Biggest Divorce "Don't" of All

The brain can be deceived and can misread signs and can at times be wrong.The heart doesn't care about facts and is frequently wrong.The "little head" is almost always wrong.

But the gut is very very rarely ever wrong.
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