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Old 03-02-2011, 04:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

My husband and I have not talked for the past 10 days (that's the longest we have ever been) after he yelled and said "F you" many times in front of our 2 yr old.

I am not giving up this time because I can't take his insulting, putting me down anymore. In the past, I would come hugging him after a few days and he probably thought he was right so he would make it worse, calling me names or cursing me more. He tends to say things that hurt me whenever he's mad and put the responsibility on me "becuase you made me mad". I really want my husband to change but I don't know where to begin becuase he is very stubborn and has a big ego. He refuses to go to marriage counselor saying they r stupid. probably because he works too much or it's the tax season but he even threaten to divorce me a few times.

Everyone I know or heard my story would tell me jut leave him but I still want to give him a chance to change. I just don't know if anything would give him a wake up call so that he will change and start giving me the respect I deserve. (We r married for 4 years.) Especially, I don't want our daughter to witness it n allow other men to treat her like that in the future.

Can someone please give me some advice of what I should do now. I still want to save this marriage but he's too stubborn. He would not listen to me or hear my pain/desire.

Thank you.
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Old 03-02-2011, 05:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

Hopeless, with or without counseling, the only person you have power to change is yourself. If your relationship is in trouble, the solution is not for him to change but for both of you to change. In a marriage, I don't think there are any good guys and bad guys. There are just conflicts and effective ways of dealing with them or ineffective ways. Either you win together or you lose together. I'm sure you're a great person but I'm also pretty sure he'd describe himself the same way. It's not that one is wrong and one is right but that both of you were raised differently, and use different ways of communicating.
For his part, regardless of what other people say or do, he is responsible for his own choices and there's no excuse for abusing or belittling one's partner. Best of luck!
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Old 03-02-2011, 11:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

Homemaker and Unbelievable, Thank you sooo very much for your advices. I read every word you two wrote because they are so helpful. I post another post on the thinking to divorce page and everyone would tell me to leave my husband and that i'm mentally abuse. I probably am... But I don't want to leave my husband. I know he has a bad temper, that he not affectionate, workaholic and that he may take me for granted. But we have been through a lot together. I want to save this marriage even if there is a slight chance possible.

I know we have differences but to me, we can sit down and talk and come to a compromise because we love each other. To him, it's my way or no way. If I don't listen to him or agree with him, he takes it personal like I'm against him and start putting me down, like the other day I returned a vacuum cleaner and said it's not good. But he said it's had a good rating so I must be wrong. When I said I don't care about other people ratings, I care about my own experience with the vacuum cleaner, he said I was stupid and would not talk to me for 2 days. Or when I told him to go to doctor because he kept having this weird stomachache, he yelled at me saying I was annoying and that if he died, it has nothing to do with me. Or when he told me to buy green grapes and when I took green grapes home he said I told you red grapes. Oh well, to me it's misunderstanding but he was angry saying I was out of mind and my ears got problem. I told him I square I heard green... it's just miscommunication and just don't make a big deal of it... yet he still got mad saying I was a liar and got mad for a day. I feel like I always have to take the short ends no matter what.
You were right Homemaker, I don't want to leave him because besides the hot temper and calling me names when he's mad, he is a good father. He works hard to provide (He chooses to work hard), he's faithful (he's never a lady man anyway) and he does not physically hurt me (although one time he kept calling me the B word and I told him to stop, finally I said the next word come from your mouth will apply to your mom. He got mad and pushed me down and said "If you say one word about my mom, I will kill you"). He used to have hyperthyroid with the mood problem so he is very moody and I used to put up with that. Now the disorder is fixed but his moodiness and anger gets worse.

My problem IS NOT about infidelity. It's about differences and lack of communication. and my husband is the one who's not willing to communicate. If we talk, either I agree with him or we stop talking. If I push it, he yelled and curse. If I make up with him, he's okay but we both avoid talking about it and his behavior escalates the next time. I think I have my share of the false too. In the past when he's mad or angry, I still want to talk about the problem. Then when he screamed or called me names. I cried and a few days later I made up with him and we did not talk about what happened any more. But in a sense I did not let him know I did not like him to say hurting words. I just accept it and tolerated it. He probably treats me this way because I became totally dependent on him emotionally and now financially because I have no family or relatives to look after my baby.

To tell you of my background. I was away for college 3.5 years and about to come home with her in a week... She passed away before I could see her. At the time I was lonely and I needed love, so I got married with my husband as planed even though there was an issue about him telling me to live 8 hour away from my family with him or we go each other way. I accepted the condition. Then as I was about to get over the death of my mom and be happy with our coming baby, I learned he had fluid in his lungs for unknown reason and I had an emergency C-section. My baby did not make it out of the ICU. I lost him a month after that. My husband and I almost went to separation because I realized he did not treat me right during my pregnancy: raised the voice, yelled, shut the door and left with the only car we had when he got mad and I was home alone at night with no family around. Even at the death of my son, he made me apology to his mom for something I said. (I gave my son the last bath and combed his hair. His mom took away the comb and said "you don't know how to comb. ugly. let me do it." My son was dying and I was still calm enough to say: "he's beautiful no matter how I comb". My huband told me I could not talk back to his mom and if I did not apologize to her he would leave. So I did because I wanted peace but I still think I was force to do it.

He even said hurtful words like : "you are useless, you can't even have a healthy baby" a few months after when argued. He likes to say things that hurt my feeling and it makes him feel smart and that's he's winning. I can not pretend like I don't hear it. I tried to tell him it hurts my feeling but he said well "then don't make me mad". I think he takes me for granted because whenever he treats me bad or want to leave me, I would cry and it satisfied him. One time while driving he told me to say "sorry" to him for something if not he would hit the car in the divider of the freeway. I was scared and I said sorry, then I busted into crying that was when he hugged me and said he loved me. And of course I forgave him. He threaten to divorce me every now and then really, I'm not scared of not being with him but I want to be for my daughter sake. I don't want she miss out of a father's figure. But he does not understand that, he thinks I needs him. He once told me, "As long as you listen to me and we don't fight too much, I will not divorce you because I don't think you can survive without me".

I will go to MC for sure on my own. Maybe I have to change myself. I always say I love you, I need you, I will follow you every where you go (since he wants to move out of state in a few years). I'm always happy next to him and ready for him whenever he tells me to do something and I never have my own opinion because I don't want to go against him. I thought if I take care of my baby with all my energy, love him and obey him with all my heart he would love me the same but I guess it does not work that way. Someone told me to show him I don't need him anymore. I heard of the 180 act. It will be hard but I will try to do it. The last 2 weeks I did not talk him, I did my own things and did not ask him for help. Please tell me if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I also look into MC for myself and talk to friends to get mental support. You guys here are of great help too and I very appreciate you all. Please tell me if I'm on the right track on what should I do? Thanks so much again.

Last edited by Hopelessdream; 03-02-2011 at 06:23 PM.
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Old 03-03-2011, 03:04 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

Thanks homemaker, My husband's thyroid is fixed so he is now like your son hypothyroid. he is taking an iodine pill a day. The pill may cause somewhat mood swing. His behavior may be best linked to his childhood and the fact that he stressed out from work. He has only one or two sundays off a month and that's it. He does not need to work that much but he wants to. I used to complain when we first got married but I don't care anymore. I just don't think it's fair to put all the stresses on me... I'm the one who never gets a break here (I take care of the baby 24 hours sometimes 23 days in a roll and we don't have any family around so I feel like I have no break myself). About his childhood, he did not have a father figure up till he was 10yr old. His mom would leave for months to look for a living so he lived with nannies, relatives who did not treat him well. He told me all my life no one treated me nice besides my mom. The nicest people stab behind my back so I don't trust anyone especially though seem nice to me. That's why it's very hard for me to express love to him because when I try to show love, he skeptical and think I have another reason. For example, I told him I always regret that I was the one who gave my mom the idea to get the knee replacement which led to her sickness and eventually she passed away 3 yrs later. I told him how much I regreted. One time I praised him for treating his mom right and still hugging her at this age (37). He thought I was sarcastic and hurt me by saying: "at least I won't have to regret when my mom passed away like how you've been regreted with your mom". He always tried to think negatively with whatever I say.

My husband also has a big ego. He told me his teacher in HS, college and graduate school never liked him. Although he graduated early, they were glad he did because he did not want to listen to them, he wanted his own short cut way. He also almost brought his teacher to the dean for arguing. He's very stubborn and he told me: I did not even listen to my own teacher, why do you think I would listen to you or anyone else. But he was proud saying that he was the most successful (he equates this to how much money he makes). However, I told him sometimes success also means you enjoy your life or have many good friends (he does not have friends). He got mad saying, I dont need any friends or any body, I'm not like you you need other people to survive.

You are right, he probably disrespects me for several reasons: I can't drive the freeway (I take surface street the long way...), I can't cook very well, I'm not working right now, I ask him for final decision with everything, I'm indecisive, I'm too chicken... One time he told me: Do you know that my highschool friend is in the prison for life sentence now? And you, you can't even kill an ant. And you are so right... all of the losses made me lose my self-confident and become vulnerable. After the loss of my mom, I needed love and I hang on to him. After the loss of my son, I felt I was a loser. I did not make any long term plan anymore for fear something would come up at the last minute. I was scared to make any decision, and I gave up my career to take care of my baby because I don't have any relative to leave her (he did not want to be close to or get help from my family) with and I went through too much to have her. A librarian just refered me a book "Why men love ****es"... I will read on it. Also, I hope like you said MC will give me new perspective to deal with the situation. Thank you for everything.
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Old 03-04-2011, 11:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

Your husband needs to change.

Yes, get in MC now.

Men do change, even the stuborn ones. I was stuborn It took my wife telling me that we would probably split if we didn't start MC very soon.

My story is in my profile if it helps.

Also, people make STUPID choices when hurting. I was an a$$hole when I was hurting and treated my wife like crap. The only way to get this unstuck at this point is MC. I always loved my wife, and made a ton of mistakes.
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Old 03-06-2011, 04:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks so much Homemaker, you are an Angel!

Thank you for sharing the story and for giving me the comfort. I remember when my mother when my mother was sick after the surgery. Many times I came back from college to visit her, I wanted to to ask her "mom, are you mad at me about the surgery?" But I never had the courage to ask. She was reluctant to have the surgery but I convinced her. I was away for college for 3.5 yrs and was going to come back to take care of her in a week... she passed away and I was shock...like I loss everything in life. I accused myself and suffered for months until one day she came back in my dreams to talk to me. I still remember the dream vividly. I saw her in her white dress walking down the stairs and we hugged for a long time. We told each other we missed each other. Then I asked her the question: "Mom are you mad at me" and she answered: "No, I am not mad at you, I never did. I love you". And we were happy chatting about how her life has been. Oh, I can't tell you enough how much that dream mean to me. I was able to eat again and live normal again.

About my husband, you are right. He does not need to work so hard but he said we have many school loans, mortgate, heavy bills, and we have to save up for retirement. When he's happy, he would hug me and say "when I die you and the baby can have all of my money". But I want him to know I don't care about the money. I just want him to enjoy life with us now. I know people who work too much without relaxing... then one day they get a heart attack and gone. I don't want that happens to my husband but every time I mentioned about taking days off, dr appointment or exercise, he's upset. I feel like I love him but he does not let me love him.

He used to be very moody before the treatment. Now, he's less moody but you are right, he probably still be affected by the medicine (levothyroid) because he takes the pill in the morning to push up his energy but at night the med go away he's probably tired and sluggish. I always keep up with his appt schedule, lab test and stuffs until 2 months ago he got mad about something and changed all the password so I can't do anything anymore.

I am having MC on Monday. I hope the MC will help me to understand my husband more and help our relationship better. You are right I can never be a B. It's not in my nature. I can not even yell at others or fight verbally. And my husband married me because he liked my sweet, soft spoken, nice and polite. My mother in law always told me to forgive him and hang on there. She said "he knows only you can handle him. when he cools down he will understand. just hang on as he gets older he will be good." My husband has a temper and communication problem. His friend (now is also my friend) told me that he fought with all of his professors and directors in college and grad school. I think I have to find a way to help him to communicate and talk to me when he's angry or upset about something rather than vent out on me that way. For example one time he had some problem at work and I asked him about it to share it with him. As I continued asking, he told me... you really want me to get in trouble or what? so instead of talking and sharing, he got defensive and angry. I'm taking a parenting class and we learned to teach our chilren to talk to us rather than crying or whining. I think I have to find a way to get my husband to talk too... I have requested my good books from the library and "why men love B" is only one of them. I will read many books to get help.... (: thanks.
I live in Los Angeles so you can imagine how crazy the trafic here. I never learned to drive the freeway because I was pregnant and now with my baby but you are right, I can find someone to babysis her. I still have a hard time leaving her for someone but I will try. Thanks again and good night I'm so sleepy now.

Last edited by Hopelessdream; 03-06-2011 at 04:09 AM.
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Old 03-06-2011, 07:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

You can't change him. If he does not want to change, you cannot make him change. He has to want to change, and be willing to do whatever is necessary to actually change.

All YOU can do is change yourself. You can change how you react and respond to him. When he insults you and calls you names, you need to look him in the eye and tell him "Do not speak to me that way." When/if he continues, you take your daughter and you go out for a while.

Stop loving up on him or apologizing to him for the things that HE does that hurt you. If anyone needs to apologize, it's him. You need to realize that and stop trying to make things better. As you've discovered, it only makes him think he's right and makes things worse.

If you feel you can't do those things because he might physically hurt you or something like that, then I think it would be time to admit this can't be fixed and end it. Anyone who makes you think he will hurt you for standing up for yourself is not someone who's going to change and become a better man.
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Old 03-06-2011, 08:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi there,
I am in the same boat as you and it is driving me around the bend!!
He is like a time bomb!I am a strong woman but lately all these insults are chipping away at me...especially when they come out of the blue!
Take time out for yourself.Do some art when your daughter is in bed,this is also a good way to let out your frustrations without loosing the plot!!
Good luck!
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Old 07-15-2011, 10:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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IF YOU THINK HE WILL CHANGE BECAUSE YOU oops...sorry for the caps...pout and not talk to him for a few days, please wake up and smell the coffee. you are not only in an abusive relationship, its also a very codependent one. you are so preoccupied with defending ur abusers motives, all ur thoughts revolve around him....maehmaehmaeh blabla...i have done that for 7 years , that i stayed in a similar situation(grapestory..many similarities), suffered loudly, suffered quietly, adjusted to the abuse, put my children through it, made them insensitive to being abused in the future..what a great gift..cut deals...denied myself and my own wellbeing...tippy toed ..nonstop..it was never good enough , until i decided to get out.
just imagine that there was a life you had, before you even met this guy...maybe even a much happier one.
a marriage should be a union of love, both pple give and take equal and treat each other fairly with respect.
if you dont feel that,, its probably not there.

do not make the excuses for him. detach urself emotionally enough to where you can walk out of your abusive situation.
find a place to go for a while, maybe an own apartment.
he will then either have a wake up call, or continue to be an ass, most likely throughout the divorce and for the rest of the years you guys have to deal with each other for kids sake....because in his egocentrical self image he always have to have the upper hand...
been there done that no shirt this time
good luck, please dont feel like i want to put you down for staying in ...i so know where you are..but also where u might most likely be heading....be strong
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Old 07-16-2011, 12:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This thread is old but I sure do hope the OP left this obviously abusive a$$hole.
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Old 01-20-2012, 12:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi Hopelessdream - sorry to hear about your story...I hope things have sorted out on your end. I can absolutely understand your situation as I am going through the exact same thing with my husband...reading you sounded like I was talking to myself. My husband is just like yours and I am the same way as you that I want to make this work even if I am myself hurt inside. And I too have a 2yr old girl who I want to give the best to.

Please let me know if you found something that worked....does he treat you better now? I need help myself and I am in a country where MCs don't exist so I feel very lonely. I hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks!


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Originally Posted by Hopelessdream View Post
My husband and I have not talked for the past 10 days (that's the longest we have ever been) after he yelled and said "F you" many times in front of our 2 yr old.

I am not giving up this time because I can't take his insulting, putting me down anymore. In the past, I would come hugging him after a few days and he probably thought he was right so he would make it worse, calling me names or cursing me more. He tends to say things that hurt me whenever he's mad and put the responsibility on me "becuase you made me mad". I really want my husband to change but I don't know where to begin becuase he is very stubborn and has a big ego. He refuses to go to marriage counselor saying they r stupid. probably because he works too much or it's the tax season but he even threaten to divorce me a few times.

Everyone I know or heard my story would tell me jut leave him but I still want to give him a chance to change. I just don't know if anything would give him a wake up call so that he will change and start giving me the respect I deserve. (We r married for 4 years.) Especially, I don't want our daughter to witness it n allow other men to treat her like that in the future.

Can someone please give me some advice of what I should do now. I still want to save this marriage but he's too stubborn. He would not listen to me or hear my pain/desire.

Thank you.
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:55 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I am truly sorry to hear that you are going through so much, but girl while reading through all of the messages you posted and some of the answers, I can't believe what I have read. I am not the type that would say, "leave your husband" that's not me at all. But what I am going to say is this, in reading your post I see nothing but excuses that you are making for this man who is emotionally and mentally abusing you. Even if it's only just one time that he pushed you down, it's still physical abuse and if something isn't done, thing it may happen more often. I know that you don't want to leave your husband and I wouldn't suggest that, but if his behavior is this appalling then leaving may be the wake up call he needs. No one has the right to call you out of your name and then in the presence of your child, that's so far from cool. The longer you stay without taking a stand the worse it's going to get and the more abuse your child will have to witness and you will have to endure. I feel that the reason he treats you this way is because he sees you as a frail person that poses no threat to him, you have not stood up for yourself so he treats you like a doormat. I don't know you from a hole in the ground, but I say, that no one deserves this kind of treatment. Suggest counseling once again maybe just for him alone and then afterwards, if he agrees to go, integrate family counseling. If he can't accept it, then he leaves you no other choice but for you to leave him. Eventhough a woman is to be submissive to her husband, God does not intend for women to be abused on any level. He didn't create you to be a doormat or a punching bag, he created us from the rib of Adam. A woman is suppose to be treated as a queen, this is what you deserve. But you have to know that you deserve it. Stop making excuses for him, there is a big difference between miscommunication and changing what you've said so you can make the other partner feel at fault. It's not his ego, it's his inability to take responsibility for his own insecurities. Your husband is no doubt going through something, but whatever it is, either he needs to let you help him deal with it or he needs to get it under control, because his behavior is ridiculous, and much like that of a immature child. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but abuse is abuse, there is no sugar coating it, and if you don't take a stand and find some type of resolution, then I feel you are in danger.





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Originally Posted by Hopelessdream View Post
Homemaker and Unbelievable, Thank you sooo very much for your advices. I read every word you two wrote because they are so helpful. I post another post on the thinking to divorce page and everyone would tell me to leave my husband and that i'm mentally abuse. I probably am... But I don't want to leave my husband. I know he has a bad temper, that he not affectionate, workaholic and that he may take me for granted. But we have been through a lot together. I want to save this marriage even if there is a slight chance possible.

I know we have differences but to me, we can sit down and talk and come to a compromise because we love each other. To him, it's my way or no way. If I don't listen to him or agree with him, he takes it personal like I'm against him and start putting me down, like the other day I returned a vacuum cleaner and said it's not good. But he said it's had a good rating so I must be wrong. When I said I don't care about other people ratings, I care about my own experience with the vacuum cleaner, he said I was stupid and would not talk to me for 2 days. Or when I told him to go to doctor because he kept having this weird stomachache, he yelled at me saying I was annoying and that if he died, it has nothing to do with me. Or when he told me to buy green grapes and when I took green grapes home he said I told you red grapes. Oh well, to me it's misunderstanding but he was angry saying I was out of mind and my ears got problem. I told him I square I heard green... it's just miscommunication and just don't make a big deal of it... yet he still got mad saying I was a liar and got mad for a day. I feel like I always have to take the short ends no matter what.
You were right Homemaker, I don't want to leave him because besides the hot temper and calling me names when he's mad, he is a good father. He works hard to provide (He chooses to work hard), he's faithful (he's never a lady man anyway) and he does not physically hurt me (although one time he kept calling me the B word and I told him to stop, finally I said the next word come from your mouth will apply to your mom. He got mad and pushed me down and said "If you say one word about my mom, I will kill you"). He used to have hyperthyroid with the mood problem so he is very moody and I used to put up with that. Now the disorder is fixed but his moodiness and anger gets worse.

My problem IS NOT about infidelity. It's about differences and lack of communication. and my husband is the one who's not willing to communicate. If we talk, either I agree with him or we stop talking. If I push it, he yelled and curse. If I make up with him, he's okay but we both avoid talking about it and his behavior escalates the next time. I think I have my share of the false too. In the past when he's mad or angry, I still want to talk about the problem. Then when he screamed or called me names. I cried and a few days later I made up with him and we did not talk about what happened any more. But in a sense I did not let him know I did not like him to say hurting words. I just accept it and tolerated it. He probably treats me this way because I became totally dependent on him emotionally and now financially because I have no family or relatives to look after my baby.

To tell you of my background. I was away for college 3.5 years and about to come home with her in a week... She passed away before I could see her. At the time I was lonely and I needed love, so I got married with my husband as planed even though there was an issue about him telling me to live 8 hour away from my family with him or we go each other way. I accepted the condition. Then as I was about to get over the death of my mom and be happy with our coming baby, I learned he had fluid in his lungs for unknown reason and I had an emergency C-section. My baby did not make it out of the ICU. I lost him a month after that. My husband and I almost went to separation because I realized he did not treat me right during my pregnancy: raised the voice, yelled, shut the door and left with the only car we had when he got mad and I was home alone at night with no family around. Even at the death of my son, he made me apology to his mom for something I said. (I gave my son the last bath and combed his hair. His mom took away the comb and said "you don't know how to comb. ugly. let me do it." My son was dying and I was still calm enough to say: "he's beautiful no matter how I comb". My huband told me I could not talk back to his mom and if I did not apologize to her he would leave. So I did because I wanted peace but I still think I was force to do it.

He even said hurtful words like : "you are useless, you can't even have a healthy baby" a few months after when argued. He likes to say things that hurt my feeling and it makes him feel smart and that's he's winning. I can not pretend like I don't hear it. I tried to tell him it hurts my feeling but he said well "then don't make me mad". I think he takes me for granted because whenever he treats me bad or want to leave me, I would cry and it satisfied him. One time while driving he told me to say "sorry" to him for something if not he would hit the car in the divider of the freeway. I was scared and I said sorry, then I busted into crying that was when he hugged me and said he loved me. And of course I forgave him. He threaten to divorce me every now and then really, I'm not scared of not being with him but I want to be for my daughter sake. I don't want she miss out of a father's figure. But he does not understand that, he thinks I needs him. He once told me, "As long as you listen to me and we don't fight too much, I will not divorce you because I don't think you can survive without me".

I will go to MC for sure on my own. Maybe I have to change myself. I always say I love you, I need you, I will follow you every where you go (since he wants to move out of state in a few years). I'm always happy next to him and ready for him whenever he tells me to do something and I never have my own opinion because I don't want to go against him. I thought if I take care of my baby with all my energy, love him and obey him with all my heart he would love me the same but I guess it does not work that way. Someone told me to show him I don't need him anymore. I heard of the 180 act. It will be hard but I will try to do it. The last 2 weeks I did not talk him, I did my own things and did not ask him for help. Please tell me if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I also look into MC for myself and talk to friends to get mental support. You guys here are of great help too and I very appreciate you all. Please tell me if I'm on the right track on what should I do? Thanks so much again.
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Old 05-10-2012, 11:48 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

I completely understand your situation. I am in a similar one except I was usually the one being pushy and starting senseless crap with my husband. Although there were also times when he would get grumpy out of the blue and treat me in an unsavory way. The thing is, you have to learn to deal with each others emotions and mood swings better because everyone (no offense, but especially men) gets grumpy from time to time. When you sense that he is going to start something, just walk away or go do something with your child. Don't be spiteful, just say, Look it seems like you are getting a little agitated. I'm going to go wash dishes or take our child for a walk, etc.

Let me ask you? Have you tried that before? And if so, when you ignore his grumpiness and don't let it affect you, does he come back to you later when he is over his bad mood and apologize or treat you nicer? Maybe this can be something to try. Don't even give him the slightest reason to get more upset with you when he is already obviously upset. Try doing nice sweet things for him, like offering one of his favorite meals for dinner, or offering to watch a movie together or make a joke to him, help lighten his mood. Maybe that will help.
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Old 05-16-2012, 11:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

I think Screamfree marriage is a good start to helping you two connect.
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Old 11-18-2012, 07:27 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How can i change my husband to avoid divorce

I think you husband is too much stress from his work that's why he tend to act like that sometimes. Try to understand him and settle this problem.
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