Patching things up dont work... Need advice - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-18-2015, 07:36 AM Thread Starter
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Patching things up dont work... Need advice

Me and my wife have been together 10yrs, we encountered lots of bumpy roads the fault there lies within me because the issue is i keep repeating the same mistakes and i cheated on her once. but we decided to reconcile. problem is we cant communicate properly, when we quarel shes very agresive and dominant its like what she wants she gets in her own way. she gets mad easily if i counter what she wants and i mean literally every thing she wants her way i understand happy wife happy life no? but it some cases it cant cause of certain things. when we discuss something the main topic leads to previous issues she keeps bringing stuff from the past and when she does sometimes i get irritated because the topic at hand is not being addressed. which in turn we cant properly find a solution she gets stressed easily sometimes i just go away and let her be but i try to talk with her same thing happens again. we jave issues that are not resolved and in time it gets back at us. i know when she has a problem but she wont open up... maybe because i lost the trust i once have defenitley. but i wont give up on her i love her i want to set things straight but if she wont communicate how can i set things straight. recently shes been talking to one of her ex which was there for her when i did the cheating. shes been leaning to other people for her problems... i feel like im not doing anything to fix things. we got married young but i love her i dont want to lose her. how can i bring her back? how can i gain the trust i lostif she wont talk to me properly which always ends with a quarrel i always ask cause i feel theres something wrong she just wont respond and just wants to be left alone.... please help i know im the one who caused her to be like that. i jsut wantfor us to give and take thats all i ask....

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-18-2015, 07:57 AM
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Re: Patching things up dont work... Need advice

You need counselling to deal with communication and other issues. You should be able to discuss current issues without always having past issues brought up to muddy the waters. Counselling can provide the environment to do that with healthy rules, and you can learn from that to go forward.

Otherwise, it sounds like it has to be her way or the highway. I'd choose the highway unless counselling helps.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-18-2015, 08:02 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Patching things up dont work... Need advice

already brought that up with a d she doesnt want it... yea its her way or the highway...
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 07:33 AM
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Re: Patching things up dont work... Need advice

then you go...if the problem you feel is you, then fix you...if she then choses to go with you then great otherwise fix you, in the end that is the only thing you have control of. Good luck
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-24-2015, 08:00 AM
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Re: Patching things up dont work... Need advice

Work on the things you want to improve about yourself, not what she wants. At the end of the day, the only person you have in the end is truly yourself.

Perhaps she has a lot of anger and resentment issues, and she is punishing you for it.

BTW, it is not happy wife, happy life. If the husband is miserable, it is still only one happy person. A good relationship is where both try and meet the needs of each other, making both happy if successful.

Sure, you made mistakes and bad choices in the past, but that does not mean you do not matter as well as much as she does. She has a right to her anger for past transgression, but over time, she has to move on, or she will keep the marriage in a terrible loop. Your not the only one who needs improvement. You need boundaries, if not, she will never respect you, and how can a relationship operate on no respect?

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