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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-25-2015, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
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Location: california
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one month into the marriage

My husband and i got married 1 month ago and the life together has been difficult , we have had more fights than ever and i donīt understand why. We had great relationship , we were very closed and supportive to each other and we could talk without getting mad , now is like all that is gone. we can have peace for a week or two and then we argue again. we had a long distance relationship for some time and after we got married i moved with him and his family until we have thing figured out but itīs been hard.
we decided to not have a regular wedding because of the lack of money , so we just got married at the clerkīs office and his family being extremely religious we got married before i met them since they would not be happy if we moved inn together and not married. everything went on very fast , the changes that i was about to do in my life had me very nervous , even some month before we got married and i tried to step back , scared of the change so i guess i started it by being so indecisive.
when we got to his family house it was normal , but i donīt think they were happy to have me here but iīve tried my best to make them like me or at least not think that my husband made a wrong decision marrying me.
we have argued about me cleaning up the kitchen and right after there are a bunch of glasses and dishes on the sink or cleaning the bathroom and right away there are clothes on the floor or towels everywhere and nobody clean after themselves and that makes me feel not respected and even worthless when i complain to him and he donīt understand why that makes me on a bad mood.
itīs only been a month and i wonder if itīs always going to be this way.

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-25-2015, 11:18 AM
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Re: one month into the marriage

From what it sounds like, due to their beliefs, they expect you to be their maid or simply take care of the house because it is your duty. Is this correct?

If so, you married the wrong person if this is something you cannot live with. There are males out there that are responsible for their own mess, and not place a lot of burden of their biological family on their spouse.

Apparently, you both did not communicate what the marriage would entail. This will get worse over time as your love for him diminishes, you will likely put up less with this behavior.

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-26-2015, 03:35 PM
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Re: one month into the marriage

Let me get this right. You did not want to involve his parents, somewhat understandable, and then move in to his parent's house following the wedding. You two created a very imposing task. First obvious question, even if there is some financial sacrifice, get your own place. It's a whole lot easier to get along with his parents if you see them on Sundays, make a nice dinner they like, are on your best behavior and smile, than if you live at their house, he puts some dirty dishes in the sink, you clean up, her mother puts some in you clear up, her father puts them in and you clean up he then puts a few as does his mother who comments within sight, too bad the house is dirty. And you cannot start creating rules, you live in their house. Now you are frustrated and not in the mood, which makes your husband more frustrated. GET OUT AND FIND SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN, EVEN IF ITS' SMALL AND FAR AWAY.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-26-2015, 04:01 PM
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Re: one month into the marriage

You said that you had a long distance relationship before marriage. Did you go straight from a long distance relationship to being married and living with his parents?

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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-26-2015, 04:12 PM
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Re: one month into the marriage

Yikes. This doesn't bode well.

OP, you and your new husband need your OWN place, pronto. Otherwise, the in-laws view you as the new house maid.
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