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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-03-2015, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
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Need help with decision

OK. I have been married to my wife for 10 years. From the get go she was always jealous of other people it seemed. Whether it was family, friends or other women. Also very presumptuous and always accusing me of cheating or something without having any means of proof or hearing from someone else or anything. She has also always been the type where of someone wants to do something that involves us they have to go through her not me.

She never said this but I have just noticed if someone asks her answer is yes and if they ask me then I bring it to her she most likely to say no. She is also very non- compromising. I guess you could say we've always had these problems. I've always kind of dealt with it in hopes she would grow out of it because she is 6 years younger than me and she was 21 when I met her. But back in June of this year we were going out of town. I am the type person where I enjoy being around other people as well as my wife.

Every time we go out of town she is so very adamant about it just being us. So a couple of days before we were going my mother called her and told her she and her husband was thinking of coming to same town we were going to be at for one of the days we were going to be there. My wife told me of this and I told her I was ok with this. My wife became very angry and flat out said no, I don't want her there. I said why. They will not be staying with us.

They will only be around us for a couple of hours. Mom thought it would be a chance for us to go out on the town for a bit without children which NEVER happens. Wife kind of hordes the kids. My wife and mom have had slight issues in the past. My wife tends to over react to these issues and my mom doesn't and does a pretty good job of boundaries. My wife's parents live 4 hours away and come to see us like 1 times every 2 years.

When they do come they show up on Saturday at 4pm and leaves next day at 12pm. I feel like my wife wants my parents to be deadbeats because her parents are. They are Indian and don't really make a big deal about things like Christmas, graduations etc. my mom is very active with every event and holiday. Loves Christmas and wouldn't miss a graduation unless she was dying. So I tell my wife to just let it go and let's see if they end up coming because my mom was a maybe on the trip.

I pleaded with her and tried to explain that my mom had never been any where with us in 10 years and haven't ever been any where with the children. She screamed and hollered. Became very angry and basically said f&@k you you and your mom just go together and get married while you are at it. She over reacted I believe. She wouldn't talk to me and I grew angry as well because I am the one that works my ass off. I plan all vacations because wife never will. I feel she doesn't really value them. She doesn't work outside the home. So I took her advise and went.

My mom never even came. It was pretty crappy and nothing like a vacation by myself. But was just so tired of compromising with her all the time and she never returning the favor. Had it been her parents it would've been fine with me. So I come back and she instantly starts talking divorce. Ever since then she has hated my mom. She even fabricated a story of my mom doing that on purpose so wife wouldn't go. This way my mom could set me up with another girl. Where she got this from I have no idea.

It's like she fabricated stories to make herself think she's been wronged so she can have a pity party. Right before this happened my mom bought our oldest son a bed and made up a little bedroom at her house for him. She has 3 extra bedrooms. During the course of this stupid argument my wife said that my mom bought that bed because my mom and I plan on taking son from wife. Wife has brought up arguments from 7 years ago that weren't even big deals then and try's to make them sound worse than they were back then.

I've asked her for proof of me cheating and all that but she don't wanna hear that. She calls my mom aweful names and like dirty fat *****. When we fights she automatcally thinks about the things that hurt me the most whether mom, sister. I don't want a divorce hit we have been in and out of marriage counseling classes. Nothing is working... I need some help on getting over this.
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Last edited by EleGirl; 06-18-2017 at 10:13 PM. Reason: added paragraphs to make post legible
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-03-2015, 10:07 PM
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Re: Need help with decision

Please break up your post into paragraphs so we can read it more easily.

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 05-23-2016, 11:37 PM
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Re: Need help with decision

Do you give your mom more attention when she is there. I know what might help you, get her a puppy

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 01:51 AM
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Re: Need help with decision

Wow, Sorry to here about your situation. I have known people like your wife--(my ex-husband)--so selfish. I gave him absolutely no reason to question my integrity, but was accused of everything under the sun. It is so unfair and makes for a miserable life. This is emotional abuse! I steals your joy for life. And the more you try to appease them just to keep the peace, the worse it gets. My situation escalated to physical abuse and divorce was my only option. Sometimes the money is the least that you give up. You have the rest of your life to work and build wealth, but there is no price on peace of mind!! If she will not heed counseling, you are better to be by yourself. I wish you the best!!
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 10:19 PM
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Re: Need help with decision

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