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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-13-2016, 01:21 AM Thread Starter
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Marriage advice

Before me and my husband got married we were dating. We've been dating for a year until I got pregnant. His mother said we should get married and my family says we should get married, but the traditional way since I'm asian. Before we got married my family wanted my husband to ask my dad for my hands in marriage m, but he was too afraid and didn't know what to do. I agree to help him but he said no. So I asked my parents and they say okay. But never bless our marriage. When we got married everything was okay for a while. I stayed home with the baby while he went job seeking. He has his disability where he can't stand for so long. Yes we've tried to get disability but got denied. Since he can't work I decided to work and take care of our little family. I started at mcdonald until I can find a stable job. Until I found a 12 hour shift. I quit mcdonald and worked the 12 hour job. I worked from 5pm to 5am. I was tired when I got home. At the time we were living with my parents so they have Internet and that's when everything fail apart. My husband's friends introduce him into pc gaming. It ain't bad since he is home 24/7 and on there 24/7 also, but when I got home he would still be on his game playing. The days that I have to take my daughter to her monthly check up I would get only 3 hours of sleep going to her Dr appointment by myself half awake and half asleep. But before pc gaming he went wit me a few times before. After my mom found out I've been doing this. She got angry and told me to leave his lazy butt. That he don't help with nothing but play games all day. I said no cause I love him. She would tell me fine either he goes to work or school. Since he can't work I decided he should go back to school since he loves pc. But that was a fail. Eventually I got tired hearing my mom telling me my husband was no good for me so we moved out. We lived on our own and of course it got worse. He would play his pc all day. He doesn't clean, cook, or do anything, but watch our daughter. When I come home the house is a mess. That I would clean up and then go to bed. I would take trash out. Clean the house. Cook for my family and do every other things that needs to be tend to. I quit my 12 hour shift and work a 8 hour shift pays so much better and moved closer to my parents. Thinking he might get somewhere since we are closer to my parents and would get us more help, but he says my parents are not responsible to watch our daughter that it is ours. But they are only helping us. I don't understand. So I just let it go and hopefully it'll get through him. We don't talk about our situation or what's going. We don't have good communication. He calls me a w_____ a s_____ and stupid. He accuse me of cheating. Which I'm not. He stays home all the time doesn't even go to my family when I ask him too. Now my family thinks he doesn't like them, but he is too busy playing on his computer. We don't agree to alot of things. I'm not allowed to do many things even a girls night out. Even if I go to my parents he still says I'm cheating or fooling around wasting gas when it's my money my hard work my car. I don't do anything stupid. I go to my parents to get away from him. Not that I don't love him I just don't have the interest to sit home and do nothing, but I always take my daughter with me where ever I go. She's the only reason why I smile. When I got to my accident he didn't really care much or worry. But his brother call to make sure I was okay. I just don't understand. What am I doing wrong. I use to treat him like a king, but now I stop cause I want him to see that not always you can be treat like a king and treat your significant other like crap. But things never work out. Everytime we get into a bad argument he always tells me that I want to leave him. I would say it cause I'm so fed up. So tired of the same things. I want to save our marriage but it's like he is not meeting me half way. He wants me to come all the way. Our sex life is horrible. I lost interest in sex. But he wants it everytime but I don't cause I just don't care anymore. We don't do anything together. We don't eat together. We don't talk period. When I'm at work we just text. Same thing everyday what you doing. Have ya ate? I love you. His response is on wow or on pc or sitting here and he would answer yes or no if he ate and tells me he loves me too. And that's the end of our conversation. When I get home and ask him something he has his headphone on so one ear is listening to his game and the other towards me but when he gets into it.. before I can finish my words he cuts me off and I get so aggravated that I just go to the livingroom and hold my tears back. He makes me feel like I'm the bad one. I do t know if I made any sense. I'm jumping the stories everywhere. But I'm so depress and hurt. I don't know what to do or who to go too. I can't talk to my family about it and I can't afford therapy either. Please give me some advice how I can help my marriage. If ya got lost I'll try to shorten it. But tell me what I'm doing wrong and please I know I'm not perfect I know I'm wrong with many things. I see it but he doesnt. Please give me some answer. Maybe it'll relieve some stress and weight on me. Thank you for your time to read this too.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-13-2016, 01:48 AM
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Re: Marriage advice

You need to have a serious talk with him. Tell him his gaming addiction must end. There will be consequences if he doesn't stop neglecting you and your marriage. Tell him you will divorce him if he can't step up to be a good husband. You both need to work on this if you want the marriage to work. Talk to your family. Let everyone know that he isn't pulling his weight. You will feel much better once you aren't hiding how miserable you are, trust me.

Make him get a job. A wife will not respect her husband if he isn't working. Your husband is lazy.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-14-2016, 01:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Marriage advice

Guy in Colorado Ive tried talking to him. I talked to my mom about it but not the whole family.. I even tell him I'll leave too and he said do it. But I can't.. idk it's so hard to get through him.. I dont know a way to get his attention beside sex..
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