flirting harmless or not?
Flirting happens. People make eye contact and smile then you wander off to your significant other. But making comments to the person and then telling you? I think by telling you he is really trying to say that he feels something is lacking in the marriage...obviously he thinks that as he had an online affair. It also says that he doesn't really respect you.
My h works nights but I would never even think of having an online affair. So the working night thing is no excuse.
Ask him how'd he feel if you did that to him. Sit down when you aren't upset and talk...maybe MC to figure out what he thinks is missing.
The overall point is if it makes you uncomfortable he shouldn't be doing it.
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