I'm a little confused here. Let me start by saying I'm a high sex drive guy married to a low, very low sex drive woman. I love her tremendously and have for over 25 years. My wife has tried to match my desires but I've come to the conclusion she can't change anymore than I can. The problem is I'm always pestering her for sex and in ways she's uncomfortable with.this has resulted in many fights over the years.
A while back I met a person online in the in the same boat. We can chat about our frustrations and desires freely without being judged. I don't know their name, where they live work etc. The problem is it's a woman I've been chatting with. Feeling guilty I told my wife about the chats, offered to let her read them, she already has my password. Thinking she would not approve she instead said she trusts me and understands. She went on to say if it satisfies my dirty desires and we keep it anonymous and if it keeps her off the hook for naughty sex she's ok with it.
By definition this could be an emotional affair but my question is can this be healthy for my marriage or will this ultimately be bad?
BTW she said she has no interest in reading the chats and don't feel like I need to discuss them with her
Sent from my XT1060 using Tapatalk
Peter, I'm one of those who really doesn't indulge much...or put much stock in... in psychobabble... b/c I've come to realize that it's just a way to justify one's behavior by somehow "Normalizing" it with a catchy yet totally ineffective adjective. So, for me, there's no such thing as an "Emotional affair". You're either faithful to your wife (and therefore yourself) or you're not. If you and she can't resolve the sexual desire discrepancy and you've given yourself permission to relieve yourself with a like minded person ANYWHERE then you're not being faithful. To put a finer point on it, you could easily gratify yourself and take care of those needs, no other person required, thru masturbation. Yours isn't just about sex drive, it's about the emotions that accompany rejection. The danger is that you're not just addressing your sexual drive with this other person, you're engaging in a highly personal dialogue which by definition stirs emotion..which should be btwn you and your W.. Uh, oh...
I think you and your W need to discuss the emotional part of your unmet sexual needs and see if the two of you can come up with some other way of dealing with it, what you've got isn't working, and your plan here..with or without her knowledge..isn't going to address the underlying issues, and is actually playing with fire.
If you need to "Just talk" with a like minded person about your feelings, please, find a good psychologist. It's much safer to explore those feelings there, and instead of some vanilla support that comes from an online stranger you can sorta identify with, you might be able to actually come up with strategies to fix the real problem.