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  • 3 Post By uhtred
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-20-2016, 09:05 AM Thread Starter
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Question Marriage advice

It might sound strange but i had an arranged marriage... my husband and i didn't know each other before the wedding, we were forced to be together so i'll leave you to imagine how bad our relationship must be.
After almost 2 years of marriage and having our first child i could say that i started falling for him but the worst part is that we hardly even talk or touch he doesn't event look at me in the eyes, we still act like strangers around each other but i want to change this.. i want us to be a real couple, a real married couple.

What do you think i should do?

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-20-2016, 09:36 AM
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Re: Marriage advice

You may be in an arranged marriage, but that doesn't mean that you can't fall in love. Try to talk to him. You are together for life, so lean what makes each other happy.

Pretend to be in love with each other, act that way and see what happens.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-20-2016, 12:15 PM
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Re: Marriage advice

Are you unable to do any bonding over the love of your child?

Is there anything that you have in common? Any interests or passions that could bring you together? Could you get involved in something that he loves, or find a new activity that you both enjoy? A lot of people bond over shared interests.

Would it be possible to just sit him down one day and say, "Look, I know we were both forced into this marriage and it's not what we wanted. However, here we are and if we aren't planning to divorce, we need to make the best of it. How about we start over, drink a bottle of wine, and get to know each other, like a date?"

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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-20-2016, 07:53 PM
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Re: Marriage advice

Talking is the only way out you have to get to know each other to build a relationship because ignoring each other will only hurt both of you. Cut the awkwardness or the ice wall between you and plan for a better future
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-06-2016, 09:07 PM
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Re: Marriage advice

Talking is easier said than done especially with children. I have not had an arranged marriage. And now there are children that's all the conversations are about, and even when we try to talk about something else, the children interrupt. Men can easily become detached and when it's a situation where they feel they are being bombarded they detach even more! Even though you can't control a child. I am married by choice and still find it hard to reason with my husband. I feel like he doesn't enjoy his family or even like me. Because he can't relax, but how can anyone with children. Whatever you do. Don't try to make a man do anything because they just become more stubborn. Tell them how you feel, but don't expect an instant change. I've learned the more you expect the less you get. Then when you expect nothing, it surprises you when they offer to do something willingly. Concentrate on being a wonderful mother. Help your unhelpful husband for now, don't stress out and see what he does. Then you'll know.

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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-06-2016, 10:19 PM
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Re: Marriage advice

What types of things do you and your husband do together?

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Marriage advice

We don't do anything together except for taking care of our baby
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 01:40 AM
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Re: Marriage advice

Relationships can only be retained through true love, effective communication, expression of true feelings and of course through satisfactory intimacy. Try to talk to him! Is there anything that you have in common, any interests and passions that could bring you together. Other then you should go for marriage counseling.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 04:33 AM
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Re: Marriage advice

I think you guys need to find something that you can do together...that would be a starting point to build on trying to have a better relationship.



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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 04:08 AM
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Re: Marriage advice

Go to a marriage councilor and spice up your sex. make a joke like giving him a penis pump

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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 04:21 AM
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Re: Marriage advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by anotherbrickonthewall View Post
We don't do anything together except for taking care of our baby
change that.

my wife and i barely knew each other when we got married. it was three or four years into our marriage before we really fell in love.

find out what your husband finds interesting, and indulge in that. and ask him if he is willing to do the same for you. if he has hobbies, get knowledgeable about them.

the most important thing, really, is to talk to him. about everything. your hopes and dreams, his hopes and dreams, your hobbies, his hobbies, etc. everything.

"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-18-2017, 11:23 PM
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Re: Marriage advice

Are there arranged marriage forums, they may be able to give you some ideas that they used to build bonding.
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