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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-19-2016, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
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Need Relationship Advice

So I met this really great day over 2 years ago. At first when I met him I didn't really have a connection/spark with him but I continued to get to know him and I started to really like him. So it's been 2 years now and recently my attraction and interest have increasingly gone down and he feels more like a friend to me. I never used to find other people attractive and now I do. The thing is I don't want to break up. It sounds crazy but I'm looking for advice from arranged marriages. Some of them they don't even know the person but years later eventually fall in love. I can't say I actually fell in love with my current boyfriend but I want to. I just want to know the steps to becoming closer and getting out of him feeling like a friend/brother to me. He's really good looking and we still have sex. I just want to know how to stay committed and grow our relationship. We are about to move in together and I'm not giving up on this. If I can learn to love him in a way arranged marriages are built I would love to learn how.

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-19-2016, 09:16 AM
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Re: Need Relationship Advice

Actions lead feelings. Don't wait for your feelings to tell you what to do. Be romantic, the feeling very well might follow.

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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-19-2016, 09:19 AM Thread Starter
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It's just hard not feeling that attraction to someone who I'm going out with and that he feels like everyone else in the world if that makes sense.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-19-2016, 09:33 AM
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Re: Need Relationship Advice

Arranged marriages have different motivations and expectations... what you say does make sense because you do not have that feeling you should have in a relationship. Although friendship carries heavy weight in a marriage, that friendship has to be a much different level than "just a friend", and it takes more than just friendship to maintain marriage and if you just want a roommate, marriage isn't the path for it unless you do and will live in such a culture.

Loving someone more than a friend is important, but being in love is critical for maintaining a quality and lasting relationship and marriage...
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-16-2016, 02:18 AM
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Re: Need Relationship Advice

Don't wait for your feeling tell you..
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-16-2016, 11:48 AM
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Re: Need Relationship Advice

If love doesn't happen naturally it doesn't happen at all.

I suppose in some arranged marriages the people fall in love but that's not the same for you because you already know this person and love didn't happen for you.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-24-2016, 02:28 PM
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Re: Need Relationship Advice

I'm of the thought the success of arranged marriages has very much to do with the cultural foundation. I also think there is a misunderstanding of what a modern 'arranged marriage' is.

At least as I understand, family members will recommend mates based on familiarity of the families and being familiar with the personalities and compatibility of the two possibly mates.

The two families meet to discuss the possibility of marriage and if they agree an introduction is made between the two. The introduction is not binding, each mate reserves the right to reject the other. It's more match making rather than a forced marriage...which I think is the connotation associated to an arranged marriage.

This is my understanding from two different cultures.
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