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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 12:54 PM
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Re: A bit confused - need help

I agree with Gus. Show him what you wrote and see what his reaction is. Despite what the "you go girl" choir is saying, it sounds as though there seems to be a huge disconnect in communications. It MAY be on his end, it MAY be on your end, or you may both be to blame. But without an honest discussion it in not possible to know.
Guys are not clueless dolts that just don't listen. The react to things they see and hear. So while you are asking for date nights or trying to schedule sex, are you forgetting commenting about wanting a bigger house, a nicer car, the new jewelry your sister just got? Your H may not be working all those extra hours are that stressful job, for his own pleasure. He may be working them to try to meet some of the other needs that he perceives you as asking for. Hearing additional requests for "date nights" after he comes home exhausted or being told you can "schedule" sex might really turn off a guy who already feels as though his entire life is already scripted for him.

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 08:49 PM
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Re: A bit confused - need help


Last edited by Hope Shimmers; 03-12-2017 at 08:57 PM.
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 11:18 PM
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Hi AAS17 - just wanted to say, everything you've posted about your H could have been written by me. Exactly word for word. Agreement that we need to spend more time together, acknowledgement when I say I need to be more nurtured instead of feeling completely invisible. But then ZERO ACTION, and all the rest - self employed, tons of hours at work, no effort to do a single social thing with me at all.

I've ordered "His Needs, Her Needs" and am looking at beginning the Marriage Builders program. But I feel my H should do so also. He is resistant. If he's not willing to make this effort for me I will be taking steps to leave as soon as possible. I'm done.

I know this post is not helpful to you. Just wanted to reach out. I'm here, going through the same things. Good luck.
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