04-20-2012, 06:20 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
| | Re: Dealing with wife and friends
Recently, Time Magazine had a cover story about introverts - it nailed me to a "T"! If you met me, you'd think I was extremely personable and probably extroverted. But the truth is, when I come home after chatting and being all bubbly, I want to lock the door and not come out again for 3 days. Extroverts feel "fed" and rejuvenated after a social outing, and introverts get "fed" from alone time. ...and, there are like 3 extroverts to every one introvert, so we often get pushed to 'be like everyone else'. I'm the same as your wife - I disliked the family stuff and the outings with friends, even tho I love really Jeff's family. My favorite kind of talk time is a long, deep conversation with one or two people - it's all about depth, not breadth. Group things are things I just endure.
This may not be your wife at all, but it's worth thinking/asking about.
And just to reiterate - if you met me, you'd find me animated, engaged, chatty, personable...and underneath it all, gettin' really, really tired. It's like being on stage - don't get me wrong, it's worth it! - I don't want to be a hermit... but you should know, it's hard work, not easy fun. She may be similar and reacting by staying in her safe spot. Maybe you both could explore this idea and see if it fits. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Keep listening.