Hiya all, this is my first post here, but desperately need some insight to make sense of it all.
We've been married 9 years, together 10 and two children 7 and 8. My husband works about 40hrs a week, and I have three jobs, one 30 hrs, another 5 and also self employed which can take up to 20 hrs a week sometimes.
Ill try and keep it simple, but there are so many issues. My husband is a drinker, always has been but he can be verbally abusive to me (and in front of the kids), the last episode transpired he thinks Im up to something and after 10 years still doesnt appear to trust me (with no reason).
Im being treated for depression, I have had it since the kids were born (started as Post Natal) when my husband was also a very heavy binge drinker at this time. I manage it well these days and know when to go to doctors etc, but my increased medicated has reduced my sex drive considerably, which in turn is really winding him up. He never shows me any affection, or does little nice things ever, even a cuddle 'has' to lead to something else, and I dont ever deny him, but I feel more like an object to satify his needs than a person these days.
As I said I never say no, but Im just not interested, Im always too tierd
its the last thing Im thinkng about when I go to bed.
Bit of a mess eh, he doesnt trust me (or anyone in his life he has admitted), I feel miserable all the time and scared of him everytime he drinks, and I just feel totally alone.
I have suggested Relate but he said if we cant sort this out between us theres no point.
He wants me to be more affectionate...
I want him to trust and respect me...