Um, your problem isn't your MIL!
Your problem is that your husband isn't a MAN. He's a very tall BOY who still let's his Mommy run his life. Your husband is lacking his b@lls or his spine or both!
| She doesn't let him see my family for the most part anymore because she wants to see him all the time.
I call BS!
she henceforth told my husband to cut contact with his aunt...someone who loved him so much
Shame on your husband!
I am worried that if she can do this to one so near and dear...what can she do to the rest of the people she barely knows
You're worried about how long until it's YOUR TURN! I don't blame you for worrying!
1. Do you and your husband owe your MIL money? If so, how much, for how long, and how long until you can pay it back?
2. How is YOUR husband's relationship with your parents?
3. Do you live next door to MIL because she OWNS the property? Or pays your rent?
Your MIL runs YOUR marriage and your husband's life ONLY because HE ALLOWS IT!
If you owe MIL money, GET A LOAN and pay her off NOW! Whatever it takes. Whatever interest rate.
Tell your husband that YOU are REQUIRING equal time for both families. In odd-numbered years, YOUR family gets Fourth of July & Christmas; HIS family gets Easter and Thanksgiving. In even numbered years you switch. NOBODY gets your New Year's Eve or wedding anniversary. (or however you TWO decide to divvy up the holidays).
Tell your husband that the closeness to his mother is TOO MUCH. That you believe she is coming between YOU TWO. That YOU do NOT want to live so close to her (especially when she makes subtle digs at you). That YOU do NOT want to have children with a BOY who lets his MOM run his life (is MIL going to tell you two WHEN to have children, too?)
Suggest that you and hubby sit down, write it out, come up with a FAIR compromise you can both live with.
If he is unwilling to do this, then *I* don't see any hope for this marriage. He is NOT putting you first, cleaving to his wife (if you're Bible-believers), forsaking all others, etc. Anyway you want to slice it, he is NOT performing as a husband should.