lonelyandsad

My husband has informed me that he loves and cares for me but is not in love with me or have romantic feelings. After 23 years I am devastated and would do anything to save my marriage. But it seems some of the marriage saving programs want me to show how much I love him without expecting anything in return. Other say just go on with your life (fix yourself) and things will fall in place. My question is........Isn't this just letting him have his cake and eat it too? Keep showing how much I love him (with no pressure on his part to return anything). I just don't know which marriage saving program makes more sense or do they at all?

Blanca

that is a hard question. im at a point in my life (after two humble years of marriage...lol) that i think its more important to protect ones heart. so i dont think its a good idea to throw yourself out there expecting nothing in return. there needs to be some balance there.

do you know what caused him to fall out of love?

__________________


"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

lonelyandsad

No not sure. But I'm not sure if I should take the advice of these self help books and just go about my own life and see what happens.

Corpuswife

I PM'd you back! I agree. You need 2 willing partners to work on the marriage. Throwing yourself at someone will make you look and feel weak. It isn't an attractive thing at all.

I've been there...tried it all. See my thread Love Must be Tough.

Amanda Blake

Have a private time to talk about your problem. There really is something that both of you should settle. Be honest to each other. Ask him to try and fix things up. Maybe he's just distracted by some temptations. Your such a good wife by still showing him you love him after what he'd said to you. For me, try to keep the relationship maybe he's just confused. You can surpass it!