Coping With Marital Rape? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2013, 10:32 PM Thread Starter
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Coping With Marital Rape?

My wife and I have been married for 11years. I have come to realize, possibly too late, that I may loose my wife due to my stupid and reckless desires to have sex with her. I believe I can change my desires, but do not know how I can help my wife believe that I can change. Any thoughts?
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2013, 11:11 PM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

I think more details are needed. What exactly happened?

What does you wife have to say about what has happened?
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 03:02 AM Thread Starter
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My wife would wake up to me trying to arouse her sexually by giving her oral sex or even having sex with her until she woke up. Several times she would let me continue having sex. Sometimes she enjoyed having sex. Other times she would get mad and roll away or even cry.

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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 03:36 AM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

Ok, so this is something the two of you should have come to an agreement on before you ever tried it.

Some people do not mind being woken up with sex. Others do.

Why would you repeat something that made her upset and ever made her cry? The answer to this is improtant.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 03:40 AM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

No, no, NOOOOO!!!! Violating another person's body is NEVER okay, even if it is your spouse! Imagne the anxiety she must feel every time she falls asleep... My ex did this to me repeatedly, and now, 7 years later, I STILL cannot sleep in a house if other people are awake, no matter what kind of threat (or not), they present.

You say you believe you can change... What brought about the desire to change? Are you and your wife in counseling?
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-15-2013, 09:22 AM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Casper1975 View Post
My wife would wake up to me trying to arouse her sexually by giving her oral sex or even having sex with her until she woke up. Several times she would let me continue having sex. Sometimes she enjoyed having sex. Other times she would get mad and roll away or even cry.
How much sex did you have when she was awake?

I can't think of any guy who'd rather have sneaky sleep sex than wide awake sex with a willing wife.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-15-2013, 09:53 AM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

I'm troubled my your admission that she would cry and you still continued to do it. That suggests someone very self centered that really doesn't care whether his wife is happy, only that she might dump him. Someone that really doesn't care until THEIR life is messed up is poor marriage material. My ex hb was like that, didn't give a rats behind until I filed for divorce and his life was impacted.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-15-2013, 11:07 AM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

Is she receptive to sex when you are both awake?
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-29-2013, 02:01 PM
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Re: Coping With Marital Rape?

Sounds like you are a very self centered selfish man. Do you ever think of what your wife needs or wants? Are you totally centered around what you want? Do you know what "lights her fire"? what is it she would like out of the relationship? My husband has been a "pig" about sex, forced what he wanted, not caring if it was enjoyable to me or if it hurt me. I think I can speak for most women, we want to be cared for, cherished, treated like a valuable fragile gift, we want to share a love and intimacy with our mate, but when you force what you want and don't care about us, you make us feel like a prostitute, used and abandonded!
Talk to her and start a caring loving relationship with her, think WE and not ME, ME, ME!

Last edited by forgiven; 06-29-2013 at 02:02 PM. Reason: typo
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