Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-25-2009, 09:00 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

ladylouise,

sign up for his free emails first. i can tell you most of the materials are redundant. the discs that come with the work book are the same as the pre-recorded teleconferences. the book is also repetative of the discs & teleconferences. basically i would recommend this if you are going to be doing the duo tracker. i think it would work far better if you both are willing to work on it.

i am doing the lone ranger & it is very slow going. but mort even says do this if you want to change & fix yourself. my best hope is that my husband & i will reconcile, but if we don't i beleive i will be a better partner for the next man as a result of this program.

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post #32 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-25-2009, 10:50 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Picubu:

Thank you. I have been getting his emails. I thought the program might be a little more indepth?
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post #33 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 10:18 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

I agree with Picabu.I am also doing the lone ranger track and the progress is very slow,but I do feel like I am making progress,mainly because I think the wife wants to reconcile and shes seeing some changes in me.Mort has some very good advice but it is very repetitive.The workbook seems a waste of time.I am getting more out of the CDs and the book.I will be attending my 1st Q&A conference tonight so I am looking forward to that
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post #34 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 10:44 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

East Cost: Thanks. So, you do not feel the program is worth it. Just use the book?

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post #35 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 05:03 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

thanx east coast bias... i was thinking tonight was a regular tele-conference... i am looking forward to the Q & A call too.
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post #36 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-29-2009, 06:54 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

I received his emails and read his book, and was very inspired. I tried to get hubby to read the book, but he never finished it. According to my hubby, Mort Fertel's method was too rigid. For example, he recommends expending all your emotional energy into your spouse. He even discourages platonic friends of the opposite sex. I really think his seminar would be amazing, but I don't believe my husband wants a marriage where we are joined at the hip, and have no other bonds to other people.
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post #37 of 94 (permalink) Old 09-06-2009, 12:11 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

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Originally Posted by Debby View Post
I have been receiving emails from Mort Fertel, and all of what he says does make sense to me. My problem is that although I understand what he is saying, I really don't feel like trying to improve things in my marraige anymore. I have given up totally. Husband refuses to take responsibility for things he says and does, when he is confronted with said things, he denies it. His favourite words are "you are wrong and I am right and I will prove it". Try living with that for a while.
Wow Debby. When I read this I almost wanted to throw my hands in the hair and yell, "YES!! Somebody else feels the way I do!!"

I have been living with the "I am right, you are wrong and I will prove it" mentality for nearly 12 years. I am also exactly like you. I don't even want to try anymore.

It's all I can do to stay.
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post #38 of 94 (permalink) Old 09-24-2009, 06:18 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

I would really love to hear more about anyone who has used Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness program and what their experiences were. At this point, I feel like our marriage is so far gone, I'm not sure it can be saved. But on the upside, it seems that neither of us are quite ready to let go either. I just don't know. I'm willing to try, whatever it takes but I'm terrified to spend that much money when I don't know what the future holds. I may need every penny I can put away just to stay afloat if this ends in divorce. Saving my marriage would be worth every penny, and you can't put a price on something like that, but what do you do????
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post #39 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-08-2010, 09:12 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program


Hey everyone, I just wanted to put my input on the Mort Fertel class. I purchased the class (Lone Ranger) and I listened to most of the CD's and have been working on the workbook and reading the book. As a typical man that DID NOT want to change for years my wife, but God got ahold of me and led me to Morts site. I investigating many of "counselors" you name it I looked at them. Well while I was going throught the CD's as a newbie trying to change and get out of the "roomate" relationship with my wife, on Feb 13th she asked me for a divorce. I can tell you that this floored me and my stomach and heart was RIPPED OUT. But I stayed true, if I can say ONE thing. Words or CRAP, it is actions. If your spouse wants you out which my did and I was not leaving, I at first was up her butt like a gnat and all that did was irritate her, I kept asking her to get something to eat, etc you know like all guys do, trying to talki about our marriage, our issues. What was I doing???? PUSHING HER even further away! She told me she HATED ME. The biggest thing I was doing wrong was not listening to Mort, I am not going to go into his whole program, but let me just say that 1 month later, she is seeing the change, it is only because of Mort, no I did alot of praying and sought gods face. YOU HAVE to work the program deligently and when I figured that out it helped and that is no lie. Get the divorce thoughts, the other man thoughts, the whatever thoughts OUT OF YOUR HEAD and make your spouse PRIORITY #1 PERIOD. I own my own business and have for 9 years,is what I fell in love with and I had it as priority #1. Not any more!!!!! Do it, I am sorry to say this, but you people that worry more about $400----are the same ones that may do something that is to good to be true. Your heart has to be in the right place and just because something is not working for one person doesn't mean it will not work for you. If you REALLY want to put the time and effort into your relationship AND I MEAN ALOT, then you can repair it. If you have children, remember when they were born how it turned your life upside down and they were your main focus, not out of feeling sorry for yourself, etc and your every moment was spent with them. Well that is what Mort has done for me again. I love my wife and she is #1 priority.
Now are we back to where we were not yet, it is going to take time, time that I am willing to invest for as long as it takes. If this is not how you feel----well then I am sorry, NOTHING is gonna help you, you need to examine yourself first and seek God's face.

Thank you and God Bless and Good luck, let me know if you have any questions.
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post #40 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-16-2010, 10:19 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

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Originally Posted by Chris H. View Post
I just wanted to let you guys know about this thing. Mort Fertel has been advertising his Marriage Fitness programs on my websites for a long time. Some might say I'm bias because of that, but I have a ton of people who advertise on my sites so if I were to lose one or gain one it would really be no big deal.

Anyway, his Marriage Fitness program has been around a long time, and my wife and I have a good relationship so I never thought to sign up for the free newsletter or buy any of his products. Well, the other day I went to his website, took his free marriage assessment, and signed up for the free newsletter.

The assessment was great. Pretty accurate, and as I suspected, my wife and I had a good relationship (according to the assessment). But even while taking the assessment I realized some things it asked about that I could do more of that would probably improve our relationship. Very good

Then I started getting his newsletters in my inbox, and I was surprised at the helpful stuff he had in them. My wife and I don't have the kind of problems that most people who sign up for these things are having, but there are tips that will improve all relationships, not just those teetering on the verge of collapse. Best of all, it's free.

So I give it the "thumbs up."

Here's Mort's website if you want to check out his program:

Marriage Max .com

Let me know what you guys think about it as well.
hi, my marriage is in deep trouble and i am thinking about trying these programmes, can you please tell me which one is better: Mort Fertel or Dr.Ellen Kreidman?? thanks

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post #41 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2010, 02:54 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

I am new here but found you through google while searching for reviews on Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel. I see on the website that there is the big package at $399 or what I guess is a basic package of the cd series for around $70. I realize that any investment into my marriage is well worth it but I a just unsure of what I would benefit most from.

Synopsis of my issue: Although it takes two, I can say that in the 11+ years that we have been married, I have hurt my husband more than I care to admit. I have said vile, horrible things to him, I have not respected him, I have not loved him unconditionally. I have accused him of cheating, even though I know he has never nor would ever. Long story short, I have allowed my past insecurities from my upbringing and other life experiences over shoot my actions and words in our marriage. I truly love my husband and will not give up on our marriage. He has never wanted divorce but I have used that word like it was nothing, in our marriage. I regret so deeply the hurts that I have caused him and now he says he loves me but he is not in love with me. He says that he is done and he's had enough. He said I have broken him so badly...emotionally. He says he feels like he will never be able to prove himself to me in our relationship....all because of my insecurities. He has been married twice before but this is my first and only marriage. I have told him that I am not giving up on us, and that I do love him. He says he is not in this relationship anymore and that the only thing he is putting into it is his paycheck. I hold onto the fact that GOD is not in divorce & that he says he still loves me. I am praying and relying on the LORD to help change me and to restore and redeem our marriage to better than we could ever dream. But I know that I the LORD guides us and leads us to help, so that is why I am curious to know from user experience if this program sounds like something that might help my situation, and if so, which program would be of most use. Thank you in advance for your help.
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post #42 of 94 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 07:36 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

I read Kiwi's posts with interest, so I'm going to repeat that for anyone else who might be interested. I have signed up for Mort Fertel's Tele Boot Camp and the first tele-conference is tonight.

My background story: _I_ was the one who introduced the word divorce to my marriage. I married my husband knowing that I wanted kids and that he would not consider it - I thought I could live with that. After 12 years, I had a crisis that sent me to a therapist asking for her help EITHER letting go of motherhood OR choosing to end the marriage. I couldn't deny the therapists' argument that my husband had a right to know what I was thinking, but once I told him, the marriage crumbled.

I found Mort Fertel's site early on, but rejected his don't-try-to-work-out-your-problems start because I was 38, and postponing the decision to have children seemed like making the decision not to. My husband has refused to talk, claiming he's not ready for 2.5 years, and I've pushed pushed pushed that whole time, convinced that he would eventually be ready to talk and we'd have a chance to work things out. Two weeks ago he stopped wearing his ring and told me he's decided it's time to let go and try to make a solo life for himself.

I'm doing Mort Fertel's program now because I have been so LOST for the past few years and I need a way to start digging myself back out. I feel like I'm going crazy. Obviously, I'm doing the lone ranger program, and if I can save my marriage, you'll hear me dancing in a future post, but more likely I can finally get some clarity about how I lost it in the first place, and perhaps a chance of being happy again at some point in the future.
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post #43 of 94 (permalink) Old 07-02-2010, 08:21 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

First teleconference was a pep talk - don't try to rush it and work on rebuilding your relationship before you try to tackle what you see as the problems. It rings true insofar as my previous attempts to tackle the problems clearly made my husband avoid me instead of joining me in the tackle. He prescribes a couple of small tasks to reconnect, which again seem sensible. We'll see what comes up next week.
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post #44 of 94 (permalink) Old 07-04-2010, 11:16 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Elenap- I just want to say THANK YOU! I wish you all the best and I look forward to reading your posts about Mort's Marriage Fitness. I've started looking into the different package options and researching reviews just over the past few days and I'd love to hear from anyone who is or has done this.

My story:
We've had a few things happened that have majorly affected our relationship over the past year, but whenever I've tried discussing them to get them resolved, he always thinks I'm starting an argument. When all I really want is for us both to feel better and not argue at all. We have always acknowledged the issues that we have, but in attempt to resolve things we've always wound up fighting more and pushing each other away. I understand Mort's philosophy of not discussing your problems and focusing on reconnecting, but I try doing that alot and my husband always says, how can you act like nothing's happened. I don't, but I try to put it behind us and move forward and he wakes up everyday with a chip on his shoulder just being mean to me. There hasn't been any infidelity, it's a communication breakdown if you ask me.
I'd really like to reconnect and then address issues as they come along, but I don't know how. My husband is so stubborn sometimes and I know I can be too, but this is our life and I'm doing everything I can think of.
I look forward to hearing from anyone!
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post #45 of 94 (permalink) Old 07-10-2010, 11:14 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Bella09, I hope things are going well for you, and I'll be curious to hear what you end up doing.

I have now been through the second tele-seminar in which Fertel develops some of his ideas about what you should DO to begin to build goodwill in your relationship. I was disappointed with the beginning of it - he invites the listeners to respond if they've made certain priorities in their lives and no one does, and then he says, "see, I knew it, none of you," when actually we're all listening to a recording and it was impossible to respond. That felt disingenuous. That said, his advice continues to ring true and to offer me specific things I can do to attempt to make progress in my marriage.

I have also listened to a bunch of past Q&A tele-seminars, and I'm at a place where I can say what he will say before he responds to his callers. He has a single firm image of what a marriage should be like (e.g. you should have joint finances in a joint account only and it's divisive for you to agree as a couple to do anything different) that I don't always agree with, but he has a clear and coherent argument for everything he says.

Similarly, he is socially conservative with a strong Christian background, and while his program doesn't need you to share that foundation, I can imagine some people (my husband) being put off by his references to the Bible. It's not a fair criticism, though, since the Bible is just one of many wisdom traditions that Fertel draws on for examples and pithy sayings. If you are worried that he will try to push couples into traditional gender roles or something like that, have no fear - he is ABSOLUTELY evenhanded.

I find myself feeling a bit hopeful about my own marriage, if for no other reason because my husband remains the sweet, indulgent man he always was while I'm listening to so many other people struggle with extremes like repeatedly adulterous spouses. That hope scares me - I fear I'm setting myself up for another crash. But I know what Mort Fertel would say: attempting to fix the relationship IS a risk, and it IS hard, and some of it WILL hurt. It's fine if you decide not to take the risk, but be honest with yourself and make the choice consciously. And looking at it that way, it's clear my husband is worth it and I'm staying in the program.

Until next week...
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