Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-01-2011, 10:24 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

well, i received my package from mort yesterday, on time and as promised. very professional looking. everything he said he would send he did.

i started with the dvd (that was an extra i ordered) and it was VERY helpful. i'm starting to see what mort means when he says that one persons efforts can change a marriage. i tried just a little something mort recommended in the dvd and it worked! it was the first time my wife smiled and the first time we laughed together in months.

i'm still getting mort's free emails even after i ordered the program. they continue to be helpful.

my heart still aches from her affair. it's very hard to be the one trying when i'm the one being betrayed. i love my wife though and i'm not giving up.

i hope to have more time to get into the materials tonight and then thurs night is the first teleconference with mort. i'll keep you posted.

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post #62 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-02-2011, 12:02 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

hi everyone. just thought i would update you.

i'm feeling very encouraged. mort's marriage fitness program has already been worth the $400.

i'm starting to see how all the different materials he sends work together. i listened to cd 1 (good stuff) and did a related exercise in the workbook which helped me then apply what mort was teaching to my situation. once again, my wife responded positively, which given her coldness over the last few months is a miracle.

so far mort rocks!
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post #63 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-10-2011, 11:03 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

i heard mort talk about affairs and it was very helpful since my wife is having one. i checked out what he said doing some online research and i also talked to my counselor and it seems mort is right - affairs almost always die. they don't last. of course, there are exceptions, but they're rare. so i now understand that one key to my succeeding with my wife is, in mort's words, "endurance." because if i can hang in there, the affair will end, and she'll see everything differently. in the meantime, i have to admit i'm suffering. and although everything mort says makes sense it doesn't make this any less painful and difficult.

mort's entire approach to reconnecting when infidelity is involved makes perfect sense to me and gave me a path and some sanity dealing with my wife's affair. it's still painful, but at least i know now how to respond to it and what i need to do to get my wife back.

the teleseminars are great. really helpful. clear advise. every time after them i know what to do next, which is a lot better than moping around wondering what i can do to make a difference and feel frustrated. it's such a relief to have someone like mort giving me regular instruction, and i like that i'm getting it from different places i.e. the cd's, workbook, teleseminars...it all reinforces each other.

i am still battling occasional depression. and when i think about my wife with another man i'm pained.

i also still have many unanswered questions that mort didn't get to yet. he's promised answered to these questions and i hope he gets to them.

i did read somewhere that mort's success rate is over 90%. i hope i'm one of them. i'll keep you posted.
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post #64 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-12-2011, 03:17 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Robert T... I am so glad that you have posted this information. I have been looking for recent reviews of Mort's program and yours was the most recent I have found. My husband too is having an affair. (although our situation is very complicated) It is time for me to start doing something to change the situation as what I have been doing has not been working and in fact has probably made things worse. You seem to be having postive results so thank you for posting. It makes me hopeful that ordering the program is all going to be worth it.
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post #65 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-16-2011, 03:56 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

RobertT, I'm glad Mort's program is helpful to you. I also found that having a program "do THIS" helped keep me sane during the weeks that I had teleseminars, reading, and workbook activities to look forward to. Before that, I felt like a victim, not knowing what to do next.
Two factual things, one a question and one a statement:
(1) it seems to be the general consensus of the various counselors and marriage educators who go to the SmartMarriages conference every year that although it feels awful to be in the lone ranger track, if a divorce-prevention program is going to work, that's how it has to work, because the overwhelming majority of divorces are the result of one partner giving up while the other still wants the marriage.
(2) I'd love to know where you found that statistic that 90% of the people who do Mort's program save their marriages. I could use the encouragement of knowing the odds are in my favor!
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post #66 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-16-2011, 09:19 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

hi elnap. i'm not sure where i saw that stat. sorry. my wife who said she wanted a divorce continues to soften. she said she was moving out, had an appt with an attorney, told me i would be served papers, etc. but none of that has happened. and she's not out as much so i'm wondering if the affair is dying like mort said it would. i'm not going to ask, as per mort's advice. i keep implementing the program. you know what mort says "slow is fast and fast is slow." it is slow but it does feel like i'm moving in the right direction. i'll keep you posted.
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post #67 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-02-2011, 04:40 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Hi there everyone, I also wanted to keep you all updated as to how things are going with Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness. Well firstly I did heaps and heaps of research and found a lot more positives then negatives - so let me focus on the positives. I started the course 2 days ago on 01-03-11 I am desperate for things to turn around (like we all are) I am married 19 years to the love of my life, we have 5 children and 2 are teenagers. Things are rough, my wife and I continually argue and things get ugly. The relationship my wife has with our 2 teenagers is really bad. This causes a lot of marriage pressure and so it has come to the time where my wife says she can no longer live with the teenage girls and wants out. She feels I take there side - but the truth is, I have to step in when things turn ugly - I see myself as the "protector" of my family. My wife gets real angry sometimes and has often become real aggressive with the girls, and she really gets out of hand - I just have to step in. I wonder if Mort can help. Much of the stuff I have heard to date and advice from his emails, I am doing already. We will see when I get the CDS and stuff, that I have ordered. I will keep you posted!
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post #68 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-02-2011, 10:16 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Hi Everyone - today is TOUGH. I am so down in the dumps, and feel like death, it is really horrible. No matter what I say, what I do, it is all just thrown back at me. I bought my wife a beautiful gift - it was a voucher for a massage, a facial and full on treatment, just for her. I could see by her response it was not received. I am sworn at, and sent really nasty emails. My response is - I love you. Not once yet have I responded back with fire, I just humble myself. I am spoken to harshly, and so rudely, with zero respect. How much more can I take? I am still waiting for the cds from Mort, I am sure they on the way.
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post #69 of 94 (permalink) Old 03-11-2011, 05:38 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Hey, New Zealand, it's been nine days since you posted, but I wanted to mention a couple things to you.

First is an article I'll suggest you read from DivorceBusting dot com: www dot divorcebusting dot com/blog/do-nothing-a-novel-approach-to-solving-marriage-problems/
It's about another couple dealing with the fact that one partner felt the need to protect their child from the harshness of the other. Maybe it will help you find a different way to respond to your wife that doesn't produce a fight between you.

The other thing I wanted to mention is the danger of responding "I love you." Every time you say that when your wife doesn't feel it, you remind her that she doesn't feel it, and you may make her feel like you're pressuring her to respond in kind. I think Mort's advice would be to SHOW her that you love her, but stop saying it.

Best wishes - I hope things are looking up since your last post.
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post #70 of 94 (permalink) Old 04-06-2011, 10:24 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

I have been maried for 16 years. As any marriage, we have had our ups and downs. 4 years ago my husband cheated on me. It wasn't sexual, only emotional but still tore my heart. I got through that and worked at our marriage. We had recovered and things were good. One day, 6 months ago, my husband tells me he is not sure if he is in love with me. He doesn't want to be committed. He wants to come and go as he pleases without having to tell me when and where. AT the same time, he says he wants to try to get back that "it" feeling and that"love"feeling and try to save our marriage. We don't sleep in the same room and have very little physical contact. No hugs, carresses or kisses. Is it over, is this just a midlifecrisis. I want to save my marriage. What can I do?? Is there hope if I am the only one really trying?? He refuses therapy or counseling or talking about it. How can I bring back that love we once had. I know it is there, or else he would have walked out by now. How can I convince him it is there and to let it out again? Can this program really help? Is there something better??
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post #71 of 94 (permalink) Old 04-28-2011, 08:53 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

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Originally Posted by kap74 View Post
I have been maried for 16 years. As any marriage, we have had our ups and downs. 4 years ago my husband cheated on me. It wasn't sexual, only emotional but still tore my heart. I got through that and worked at our marriage. We had recovered and things were good. One day, 6 months ago, my husband tells me he is not sure if he is in love with me. He doesn't want to be committed. He wants to come and go as he pleases without having to tell me when and where. AT the same time, he says he wants to try to get back that "it" feeling and that"love"feeling and try to save our marriage. We don't sleep in the same room and have very little physical contact. No hugs, carresses or kisses. Is it over, is this just a midlifecrisis. I want to save my marriage. What can I do?? Is there hope if I am the only one really trying?? He refuses therapy or counseling or talking about it. How can I bring back that love we once had. I know it is there, or else he would have walked out by now. How can I convince him it is there and to let it out again? Can this program really help? Is there something better??
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Hi,

Absolutely. I feel that Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel really saved my marriage. I did the program by myself and it helped me see the problems I was bringing to marriage and I was able to embrace what love really means (love is described as a 'verb' by Mort). Once I focused on what I could do change the relationship the dynamics started to change and I felt really connected to my spouse. Eventually we reconciled and have been happily married ever since.

If you have more specific questions, feel free to let me know.

Take care.
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post #72 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 12:13 AM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Hello all. I too am seeking some valid reviews of the Marriage Fitness Program. I see many positive reports regarding the program, but little information as to what the program actually entails and in what ways does it effect relationships. As many others have suggested, I signed up and have been receiving the emails from Mort Fertel's website. The emails inspire hope, however they appear to me to be nothing more than enticements as used on the evening news; stay tuned... more interesting stuff to come. He offers the what, but not the how! One person mentioned that Mort suggests giving gifts. OK, but that doesn't seem overly insightful information to me. Giving gifts is one of the languages of love described by Gary Chapman in the "The Five Languages of Love". Seems pretty simple, common sense information. I don't mean to criticize or discredit the program by Mort Fertel. I just want to know that what he offers is valid. If so I might consider enrolling in his boot camp!
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post #73 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-04-2011, 11:35 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

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Originally Posted by Odis View Post
Hello all. I too am seeking some valid reviews of the Marriage Fitness Program. I see many positive reports regarding the program, but little information as to what the program actually entails and in what ways does it effect relationships. As many others have suggested, I signed up and have been receiving the emails from Mort Fertel's website. The emails inspire hope, however they appear to me to be nothing more than enticements as used on the evening news; stay tuned... more interesting stuff to come. He offers the what, but not the how! One person mentioned that Mort suggests giving gifts. OK, but that doesn't seem overly insightful information to me. Giving gifts is one of the languages of love described by Gary Chapman in the "The Five Languages of Love". Seems pretty simple, common sense information. I don't mean to criticize or discredit the program by Mort Fertel. I just want to know that what he offers is valid. If so I might consider enrolling in his boot camp!
Hi Odis,

The e-mails are definitely enticing but the real work does begin in the program itself. I found that the program really helped my situation. A basic outline would be:

1) Focus on fixing yourself
2) Talk charges (how to connect with words)
3) Touch charges (how to connect with touch)
4) Date night (how to discipline yourself to a designated date night every week)
5) How to rebuild trust
6) Effective ways to understand your spouse

That is just a basic summary as the program offers alot more than that.

Let me know if you have more questions.
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post #74 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-07-2011, 03:17 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

A message to all from the Cheater and unbeliever. Three years ago I tainted my marriage and revieled a 2yr affair to my husband. We were about to have our second child and we worked things out as best we could going to counseling and me being as honest as possible.
Fast forward 3yrs later and his forgivness never really was there that entire time, but for me it was too late. I had worked so hard to regain his trust and love him as best I knew how. We just were not on the same page all that time, and I thought we were.
A few months ago we separated, moving into different homes and I was DONE, given up and ready to enjoy the "single mom life" as we have been together since I was 16yrs old.
Fast forward again 6 months later and my husband has tried so hard to patch our broken marriage. After finding Morts website he realized many things he had neglected in our marriage. He began sending me Mort Fertel emails a few months back and on occassion I would read, but remember I was in a different frame of mind, done with trying! Last night I finally put in Morts CD that my husband left for me to listen to a few weeks ago. I thought, "What the heck, why not listen while I clean house just to appease him". After a slow start I found myself sitting on the couch actually listening and understanding what he meant. Words that seemed SO SIMPLE yet turned on a switch in my heart, in my mind and I continued on to CD #2 and now I'm on #3 and have told my husband I'm ready to TRY! Those were words he thought he'd never hear again.
This may seem crazy, but this is coming from someone who felt her 10yr marriage after many little issues that built up and one major issue of my affair, is finally ready to realize that I have one amazing person to LOVE in my life. He has stood by me through thick and thin and I know I married him all those years ago for a reason. Finding a new partner in my life would only result in the same or similar issues we face now, and most of which can be fixed. My affair years ago was in result to my unhapiness in my marriage and I can guarentee wouldn't happen again. I know for those of you out there being cheated ON, you must find a way to help detour your spouse from feeling they are getting more love away from home, because they are BLINDED by the affair right now and in that "falling" stage thinking everything is new and fun and exciting. It may be hard to even reason with them, but if your dedicated enough like my husband was and they are able to remove themselves from the affair, thing CAN get better.

I will try to update everyone as we go and share my story. I am open to helping others so if you want to ask me questions, feel free.
This won't be something to fix overnight, as we've had some problems for a few years now, but I have a good feeling we are both ready for change and to CREATE LOVE as Mort says.
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post #75 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-07-2011, 03:24 PM
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Re: Review of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness Program

Kap74 - I am the female version of your husband - I cheated emotionally and physically. We worked on things and several months ago told my husband the SAME thing your spouse told you. I just wrote a post about where I am today and how Mort Fertel has played a major role in that.
I too like your husband needed that "it" feeling that was there when I first met my husband and thought that finding someone else would solve that problem.
I hope your husband realizes that as exciting as meeting someone new or being with someone else it's really only a temporary releif to that Need we all have - which is LOVE! I was lost and confused about why I had this empty need and so far I'm on CD#3 and Mort has made me realize it's a need we ALL have and I'm normal! Who would of thought - this is not a mid-life crisis as I suspected, it's just something all marriages go through and you have to be willing to work on.
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