This thread is very depressing.
All good men reading this, if a man is not getting sex, or feeling as if his woman is finding him sexually attractive, this is absolutely a problem and should not be endured, it is emotional abuse plain and simple.
In reading this thread, there are some of the usual suspects, the biggest of course is the "nice guy" scenario, where a man bends over backwards to give his woman everything and then is surprised that she is cold to him, or worse will leave him in the dust for some other man.
So for the "nice guy", the solution is simple. Stop the nonsense.
Do NOT put your woman on a pedestal, do not appease her, beg her, or in most ways seem to revolve your life around pleasing her. Why? Because this is making her feel like a "charity case", and makes you look like her child to her eyes, and not her man.
A woman is not looking for a man to treat her like a "charity case", she is looking for her man to be confident, secure, stable, to be a good man that both knows what he wants, and has the mettle to go for it.
Yes, this is much like the "Gordian knot", absolutely, and yes this is taking courage, courage to face the relationship with your woman, and your relationship with the world really, with the attitude and honesty to say very directly what it is you want as a man, and to be the man that will have what he wants.
To be this man, to pursue happiness with this kind of courage, and to invite your woman to share in this pursuit, this is what lights a fire in a woman.
Yes, this starts with getting control of yourself, the hygiene, the physical fitness, the career, the addictions, all of these things in balance, and these things are just a start.
And all these things are a part of this one thing, to be the man in control of himself and his environment, yes (again) the dominant man.
These other things, to negotiate as if sex was a poker chip, is at best appeasement and begging to a woman, and at worse will make her feel cheap and used. Needless to say, it is not leading to happiness for the long term.
Also this is important, actions speak louder than words. To think that words, conversations, and promises alone are going to light sexual attraction, is only smoke and mirrors.
Instead, know this, attitude is everything, and this attitude is to be demonstrated in actions primarily, and words sparingly.
Knock off the "I love you's" constantly. Work instead on how you look at your woman, how you touch your woman, and when you do use words, pay attention to even the tone of your voice.
To behave, and live the attitude just as the following is the goal: "That you can have any woman in the world, yet you desire your woman".
To live this attitude, how would that make you dress, behave, and act? Guess what, it was how you dress, behaved, and acted when you and your woman were dating, and she was feeling the attraction and fire because just this, in her mind "you could have any woman in the world, yet you desire her".
So when the marriage vows were made, why is many times the man thinking it is the finish line, when instead it is, for the actual reality, just the starting line!
Do not lose this attitude! Do not stop being the dominant man and instead try to be some "nice guy", which is really just a man trying to act like a woman. A woman is not going to be fooled by this, or attracted to this.
To do these things, is to make it so the woman is aroused even just anticipating the next physical encounter, and see that her sexual appetites should equal or even surpass the appetite of her man, is to know how sexual and passionate the relationship between the good man and woman can be in marriage.
Good men and women, do not be satisfied with anything less.