Re: Wonderful husband and I can't get excited...
I have never really considered myself to be a very sexual person. I don't have a poor self-esteem or anything, but was raised by conservative/religious parents. When were were dating/engaged, I was turned on with ease. Now there seems to be some barrier or some connection that can't be made. Generally, I feel extreme love/adoration but not any kind of erotic thrill or craving. I think it's about mindset.
Do you feel your religious upbringing is some responsible for how you view Sex? You say you experienced desire -craving when dating, did you also feel guilt/sinfulness along with the craving? Was this also with the same man, your husband now?
I find , from my own experience , that religion , unfortunately, but definetly played a part in my forming a negative "mindset" towards sex. All that teaching about "putting down the flesh" before you are married , while realizing THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE & unrealistic , so the cycle of shame -repent - shame - repent -shame -repent was a revolving door. Never fully allowed to enjoy what was happening.
Then I found I was not able to just turn a "switch" when suddenly I had a marraige certificate in my drawer, that all the sinful lusts we dabbled in was NOW considered HOLY and ACCEPTABLE before God. So I, too, at one time, had isseus with sex. I used to push the husband away from oral sex. I wanted the lights out, some positions felt "dirty" or questionable to me. Something in me wanted to enjoy with freedom, but I found my mind was still waring against this Pleasure with my husband. This went on for many years.
What has helped me is getting away from Religion , but that is another thread! But sexually, reading many many books devoted to Sex, pleasing your partner, Kama Sutra type readings, where I could feel /see the beauty of this act -in the flesh , has been very much a blessing in helping ME overcome my sexual hang-ups.
It is good that you recognize you want MORE in this union with your husband, just fight for that and keep Learning , asking questions, seeking answers. You are newly married , you have so much yet to explore with each other . I kind of envy that! Don't be like me, I did not ask all these questions back then, I just muddled along.