Re: Watching wife have sex
This thing you are speaking of, is the two edged sword.
First, for the man and woman in a healthy sexual and emotional relationship, perhaps this is a fantasy that can be explored safely, and I do not wish to speak against some fantasy or to judge this between a consenting man and woman. I am not speaking to this scenario.
But second, and this is most likely if you are posting this question here on this forum, is the scenario that a man desires to see his woman with another man for perhaps less than healthy reasons for the reltionship and the happiness of the man and woman. This is the scenario to which I am speaking.
To know this is what is called "cuckoldry", and is exactly this, the sexual stimulation that occurs in a man, when his woman is having sex with another man.
This sexual attraction is born from biological competition, and yes it is real, and would be found in most men even if only on the physical level, but when it is experienced it is because, yes in the sense of competition, the relationship is already on dangerous shaky ground for the man experiencing this.
The problem is this, the emotional connection, of a man and a woman, for the man seeking satisfaction in cuckoldry sense, the woman is quite simply this, going to be sexually and emotionally attracted to the man that is more dominant, and this is where it is dangerous, for she will easily leave the weaker man in the dust if this is, to be polite, not a fantasy but the reality, that her man is a weaker man than some other man she is connecting with sexually and emotionally.
So this is the finesse, that in the first scenario it is a fantasy, that the man in the relationship in reality is dominant, and merely allowing some other man in the relationship at his will, in consent with both the man and woman to explore a sexual fantasy.
But in the end, the man will say "enough" or in other words, still be the dominant man and the woman will be still seeing him as dominant and there is not the danger of this woman leaving him in the dust for some other man, because she is doing this as the fantasy for her man, and this is not in question. As a woman is only going to be emotionally connected to one man, again if her man is dominant and this is not the question, then in this scenario the relationship is not in danger.
But if the cuckoldry is not a fantasy, and is merely this, the man in the relationship is in reality not dominant to his woman, and is fantasizing to experience either this or that with his woman in a sexual sense, but is not the man enough himself to do it, and thinks it is sexually desiring to have some other man come in and be "the bad guy" and do these "bad" sexual experiences. So the man believing he can have his cake and eat it to, in so many words, afterwards be the "nice guy" and expect that his woman will simply appreciate his gentleness.
But instead, what happens? In reality these sexual experiences, if it is true that her man is not man enough to step up to, but some other cuckoldry man is, and the woman in her mind is loving it, and loving the experiences, and as a woman of course is mainly taught not supposed to be aggressive openly about such things, but once they are unlocked she is very much connected to the man unlocking them.
If in her mind it is not the cuckoldry man, but instead her relationship man, then great for both of them.
But more likely in her mind is the cuckoldry man, the man that has the mettle, the courage, the dominance to step up and do these things sexually with her, and unlocking these sexual and emotional passions in her, and as a woman is going to be emotionally connected to only one man at a time, and if it is the cuckoldry man then it is not happiness for the first man, for he will easily be left in the dust when he loses the emotional connection from his woman.
So the advice is this, if you are here on this forum wondering in any sense what to do, then it is easy, do NOT do the cuckoldry, because you are already not clearly, dominant, otherwise you are not needing to ask.
Instead of fantasizing of some other man doing these things, instead fantasize that it is you doing these things, and make those fantasies the reality.
When you are doing this, making these fantasies the reality, and are secure in the position of dominance, absolutley earning and holding the sexual and emotional connection with your woman so much that no other man is even in competition, ONLY THEN will it be safe to imagine some other man in the picture.
And perhaps by then there will more likely no longer be the cuckoldry fantasy, because you as the dominant man are making these fantasies your reality for yourself, to the health and happiness of you and your woman.
I wish you well.
Last edited by BigBadWolf; 01-24-2010 at 12:41 AM.