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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 05-07-2010, 12:02 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

But every time I go to touch, lick, or anything else she says "it's too much" as if its an uncomfortable tikkel... any women have that problem I don't know.

I wanted to tell you the reason your wife doesn't like oral but wasn't going to reply because there are so many pages of replies and I don't figure you are still keeping up with this thread. I just figured some woman chimed in to let you know the reason. But then I read your above statement and couldn't resist.

The main reason any woman doesn't like oral is that her guy doesn't do it right. The clue is in the title of your thread "her clit licked". Gives me a clue that you go down licking and flicking away, which is annoying. The pleasure is not in the licking. It's in the sucking. Purse your lips over her clit as if to whistle. Then gently suck on it with your lips pursed. You will drive her wild. The licking part isn't so much on the clit but mostly the area directly beneath it. Do the combination of those two, and she will never again tell you she doesn't like it.
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Old 05-08-2010, 04:42 AM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

There is a good book about this. It's called : "the ultimate guide to cunnilingus" and it's written by Violet Blue. It talks about various techniques, various forms and shapes. It also gives an overview of what alternatives you can try, things not to do, and how to get somebody to be more open towards receiving oral sex. It's a good book that can maybe be a starting point to discover a solution.
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Old 05-08-2010, 01:26 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

Sounds to me like maybe she doesnt know how to tell you what she feels. Maybe its not that she doesnt like you licking her clit but that its too much..... too much feeling. When I was younger and a guy would go down on me I loved it, the second he hit my clit it was like I stuck my finger in a light socket!!!!! and I would wiggle my way to the top of the bed to get away from him. I would suggest trying something that will numb her clit a little, maybe analease? Also, it could be that you are not being rough enough, licking was too soft for me at times, hard sucking and even some light biting was better. Sounds like opposites I know but.... were women..... lol
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Old 05-16-2010, 12:24 AM   #49 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

I don't like it because I hate it when he goes down there and then he kisses me. It's disgusting! And he has no idea of how to do anything well in bed.
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:51 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

When I was younger I mistook a hemmorroid on my girlfriend for the clit...yeck!!
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Old 05-16-2010, 01:28 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

I so much loooove it but my hubby refuses to go down there,he prefers to use his fingers which does nothin for me unless I close my eyes and imagine his fingers to be his lips.
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Old 05-17-2010, 05:57 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

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Originally Posted by MrP.Bodybig View Post
We talked about it last night, she does not like it. guess its a simple as that it never has it been about her being self conscious because there are other southern parts she loves getting licked
......now THAT is interesting to me. For a while I didn't let my H go down on me just because I felt bad that it would take a while. But he was adamant about getting it done and now, well it takes him .2 seconds to take care of me. It did take a while to get to this point, but it's great now that we're there. It was too much stimulation at first, but he figured out not to hit it directly until closer to the end and he discovered- as I did- some other things that helped out. IMO, she needs to let you! She'll be thanking herself for it once she realizes how freaking awesome that is. Man, where's my husband... lol!
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Old 05-22-2010, 01:14 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

Here's another thought on this topic, albeit belatedly.

I don't know whether the majority of men who have responded to this topic are circumcised e.g. North American, but I am male and of Western European extraction and am thus not circumcised. I am now over 50 but I can still vaguely remember when I first started masturbating and learnt by trial-and-error how to pull back my foreskin to increase the level of sensation I could enjoy. I can remember how delicate and sensitive my glans was then such that at first I was reticient to touch it directly. Now some 40 years later my glans have become sufficiently acclimatised to direct manipulation that I have no problem directly rubbing it quite firmly, even without lubrication.

Now transfer that experience to that of many women whose clitoris has perhaps always been hidden behind a full or tight clitoral hood so that not even the tip has been exposed until it receives direct or even firm indirect manipulation by their partners tongue? Multiply this sensation by virtue of the fact that women have more nerve endings per area unit than men have in the head of their penis and it is possible to get some idea of the level of physical sensitivity being played out. Under such circumstances I could well believe that they would still experience similar levels of sensitivity that they might find off-putting until they can also become similarly acclimatised. Some women will have already have become acclimatised to some extent during their formative years through friction with tight underwear or other friction-inducing events e.g. bike riding, horse riding, their own masturbation experiences etc. Others may, however, have not.

Besides, has anyone considered how rough the surface of the tongue is; even seen a photograph under a microscope? Smooth it ain't! So, perhaps if you want to initiate your partner in to this form of sex play then, as others have suggested, the way to start is through indirect and slight manipulation maybe with natural or artificial lubrication and your finger tip. It does generally give you greater control to begin with. Or how about using some other aid with a more delicate touch. On one other web site I read about a partner who used a very soft make-up brush to titillate his partners exposed clitoris tip. Or how about a gentle flow of water or a soft water spray? As one female contributor here commented to the uninitiated it can feel like an 'electric shock' on first experience. I can relate to that from all those years ago. What other ways would you women suggest to your partner?

Of course, if your partner's reluctance is due to a psychological hang-up then an entirely different approach is needed; one that needs to convince her that the process is not 'dirty' or that it is all the more enjoyable and exciting because it is! Nor are their 'parts' 'down there' ugly or dirty but rather a natural part of them that without which they would be very much 'incomplete'.

Cheers all. Above all have FUN!
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:45 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

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When I was younger I mistook a hemmorroid on my girlfriend for the clit...yeck!!
oh my god!
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Old 05-22-2010, 08:13 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

A lot of people don't seem to be reading the OP's posts. From what he's said, it's not about an "icky gross-don't-go-there" mentality. After all he said she loves her ass being licked. I know for some women it's a hygiene thing ("ew blood comes out of there"), but in this woman's case it's a sensitivity issue. I knew one girl that was really sensitive on her clit and couldn't bear to have it touched directly. Only around it.

It may take some vibrator stimulation in the area over a period of time to help calm things down a bit.


Quote:
Originally Posted by arianavatum View Post
I don't like it because I hate it when he goes down there and then he kisses me. It's disgusting! And he has no idea of how to do anything well in bed.
Have you tried educating him?


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Originally Posted by Susan2010 View Post
The pleasure is not in the licking. It's in the sucking. Purse your lips over her clit as if to whistle. Then gently suck on it with your lips pursed. You will drive her wild.
Thanks for the tip and I'll keep that one in mind, but in my experience every woman is different. There is simply no consistency of techniques. Many women seem to have one way that gets them off that never seems to work on other women.

Last edited by BlueFire; 05-22-2010 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:28 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

Perhaps your wife has had a bad experience with having her clit licked. I remember an ex bf did not know what he was doing. He actually bit me down there, causing me much pain and discomfort. There was nothing pleasurable and satisfying about it. And it left me scary and somewhat uncomfortable when my current hubby wanted to explore my southern region. I actually had to build my nerve and confidence in him, truly believing and trusting that he would not hurt me. It took a little time.
Needless to say, my hubby knows exactly what he is doing, there is only pleasure and satisfaction.
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Old 03-11-2011, 09:33 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

Honestly I don't find it strange at all. Women are all different.

If she finds it is too much stimulation at her clit when she's excited. Have you tried doing it first? Before any other foreplay? Maybe she has a 5 minute window or something so you can have your fun too.

I need and like TONS of pressure on the clit but don't find a tongue much use at all.

But I have friends who love the tongue when used by someone like Chuck who realizes it's an art and you need the swirl.
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Old 03-11-2011, 11:06 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

So don't do it. What many women want is to be miserable so they can get together with their friends and talk about who hates men more.
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Old 03-12-2011, 01:57 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Women Who Doesn't Like her Clit Licked

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But I have friends who love the tongue when used by someone like Chuck who realizes it's an art and you need the swirl.
Big ditto to this!
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Old 03-12-2011, 01:59 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by 2Daughters View Post
When I was younger I mistook a hemmorroid on my girlfriend for the clit...yeck!!
Seriously?
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