Wife with another man ?
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Wife with another man ?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

View Poll Results: Marriage Advise should I do it
Wife with another man 4 16.67%
Wife with a bigger man 0 0%
Will I regret my wife sleeping with another man 19 79.17%
Large Penis 1 4.17%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 24. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-17-2013, 12:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife with another man ?

I have been married for 25 years, me and my wife have fantasized about another man on the odd occasion when we were drunk or high she does it reluctantly and has never show a desire.

I know my wife would enjoy a man with a bigger penis, I know all women don't but when she has had a big dildo she went quite wild it was 8" and about 6" thick. She also is quite loose after 3 large children. We have a great sex life and she orgasms form sex without any help. I am only just bigger than 5" and about maybe 4" thick. I had a friend who she liked that was at least 8" and I have always thought she would love it.

I am not jealous because I have a lot of confidence and if she had sex with him and did enjoy it as long as we can have the same relationship I would let her. Because she has never desired this I think she could do it have a great time just for the sex but never do it again and we could share the experience

If this happened it would re confirm my love for her since sex is so personal, that if she went as wild as I think she would and still love me that would prove the a relationship is stronger the great sex.

I think she would love doing this standing up against a cupboard and I know my friend has done many wife's and has them coming back for more. He obviously loves it because he is giving these women something. He has a great personality and is handsome and well endowed, hois penis looks great I would love to have what he has. Should I push to make this happen?
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Old 08-17-2013, 12:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

Change poll to

Yes
No
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Old 08-17-2013, 12:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

This needs to be moved to the sex forum please.
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

I'm.Constantly.amazed.there.are.People.who.think.l ike.this.
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

No.
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:48 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

When I was a boy I once read a quotation about three things that never comes back.
1) The spoken word.
2) The wasted opportunity.
3) The spent arrow.

The fantasy of another man having sex with your wife , or a threesome in any form seem to be a powerful one for some men / women.

But this fantasy is like an arrow. Whilst it is engaged in the bow and the hands of the archer , it is full of potential. Once released , even the most skillful archer cannot control its final destination.

Logically speaking , this is your first attempt , your wife seems a bit hesitant , you are not a skilled marksman ,
And even the most skilled marksmen , miss the target sometimes.

You don't gamble what you cannot afford to loose.
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Old 08-17-2013, 03:50 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

I understand your comments, but I want my wife to enjoy something I believe she will, this is not for me to get off. I want to see if she enjoys it and then comes back to me that is more powerful. As we are all caught up in sex someway or another.

The only reason I believe she doesn't do it is because she is scared to heart me but wants to deep down. I have see this, therefore I want her to experience the best in life. She hasn't ever had a person that is big and enjoyed it. If she knows she would and I know, what's the harm in letting her I believe she will come back to me as I don't believe this is the most important thing in a women's life and I know it isn't my wife's.

When you compare what she has and enjoys very much we have had great sex, I work at it, but any time we have fantasized about a bigger person, she really gets horny and wet, an she can go very wild. I cant take her there any more. She wont admit it but I can feel and sense it.

I love her and want to give her something, this is not for me nor do I want a another women.

I need an honest answer as we have a very good marriage, am I crazy or if this works will this even enhance our relationship even more.
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Old 08-17-2013, 03:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

Why would you take such a risk with your marriage?

If my partner gave me the OK to have sex with another man I would feel like he no longer truly loved me.

IMO it is madness to go there. Sex binds a couple emotionally and physically, to open the door even a little bit to another man you will be risking your wife wanting him again and again and then forming a bond with him.
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Old 08-17-2013, 04:01 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

This is a horrible can of worms to open. If you just want to give her a bigger penis, use a strap on or a silicone cover. They have all sorts of gadgets these days; do some shopping.
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Old 08-17-2013, 06:00 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

crazy....crazy.....crazy.....

did I say crazy.
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Old 08-17-2013, 06:37 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

I'm sure my girlfriend would love a guy with a six-pack, and totally get off on that.

But I'm not going to tell her to f*ck a random guy at the gym.

Your wife orgasms from you, she loves you, she doesn't want to hurt you. Stop being so freaking insecure about your pecker size. You are borderline disturbed with the way you talk about your "friend".
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Old 08-17-2013, 06:46 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevmo008 View Post

I love her and want to give her something, this is not for me nor do I want a another women.

I need an honest answer as we have a very good marriage, am I crazy or if this works will this even enhance our relationship even more.
I understand what you are saying, and you do sound genuine.

But you need first to understand a few things.
1] You are speaking from a position of male insecurity. There are many men with similar problems like you , but they tend to handle it differently. Those who have chosen your path always end in disaster because they were insecure. You think your marriage is secure , but your insecurity over you ability to fulfil your perception of your wife's psychosexual needs will eventually ruin it.

2]You say you " love her and want to give her something."
She loves you, even if your penis is small. She's married you and has been faithful to you for all of these years. Yes, she loves your penis , and the man attached to it too. She enjoys pleasuring herself, and talking about these fantasies in front of you because she's comfortable with you!

3]For some people sex is just an act. You need to decide for yourself what sex between you and your wife means to you.
You must decide if she is just a toy that you can lend to another man , like the old worn out playboy magazine you and your buddies used to share for fun when you were kids.
If she means more than that to you , then why do you want to share the most intimate aspect , her body with another man?

4] Not all fantasies are meant to be enjoyed in real life. If they were , then obviously they would no longer be fantasy.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with having the fantasy, but it is way too risky to make it reality.
You cannot control the consequences. Its like playing Russian Roulette, very thrilling and exciting, but you never know when the bullet would come flying out of the chamber , and in a flash , your life would be gone.
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

To add on ...

The vagina is essentially a muscle that learns to relax itself. It also learns to tighten back up, otherwise a tampon would simply fall out. This is not a sign that she needs something bigger to get off. Hell a well placed finger can do it!

Pushing this issue with a reluctant wife is a recipe for disaster...
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:12 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

I cant see how it would work to give her a bigger penis experience and know she enjoyed it - then what is going through your mind the next time you are penetrating her? She is thinking about that bigger penis? Shes going to want to do it again? Now she will never be satisfied by my size?

I agree with the others - this is a Pandora's Box. Get a toy that is larger. Use it together as a novelty. Some fantasies are better left in the fantasy world.
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:22 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife with another man ?

Going from fantasy and toys into reality is a big step. It's risky, of course. At the very least, it should be thoroughly discussed and both would need to be in complete agreement, set boundaries about how this would/could work, consider jealousies and unexpected and unintended reactions and consequences, etc.

A few percent of people do participate in this sort of thing - threesomes, cuckold fetish, swinging, open relationships, etc. It works for many of them - and fails for many others. The failures are usually those who haven't considered all the factors, especially the possible emotional/jealousy angle. Most just find that it isn't for them and don't continue to pursue it. Others thrive on it.

We've seen the entire spectrum of reactions, but mostly the successes as the failures aren't around long enough to meet. We've discouraged many couples from even trying - usually, one is going along to please the other, rather than both being invested and enthusiastic. This is a recipe for big problems.

Those who both fully agree and understand the rewards and risks usually have a lot of fun with it. We know happy, stable couples who have been active swingers for years and even decades. We have been in polyamorous and open relationships ourselves without any problems or issues, and would characterize our own relationship as one of the best we've ever seen. But we've encountered a few train wrecks - almost all of those involved one person pushing a reluctant partner into something they weren't ready for.
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