Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I am in a sexless marriage and it is fine with me. I would definitely not get divorced due to lack of sex as I am emotionally very happy in my relationship and get all the intimacy I need/require even without sex.
Personally, the way I see it... It's free, low calorie, and it feels great. Plus it provides numerous relationship benefits if it's there, and has many negative relationship impacts if it's not. So why wouldn't you?
MEM If this is too intrusive please don't answer. I am imaging myself in your wife's place and what i would do. My husband would be like you after two weeks. I don't think he has gone two weeks without for tge entirity of our marriage. I think i would want to give a bj or hj or caress him while he masturbated. If your wife did that what would you feel and how would you respond?. Posted via Mobile Device
I think it really depends on why there's no sex. Is it due to an accident or illness that prevents the partners from having sex? If so, would that be reason in itself to end the marriage? For me, no. Would it give me license to go find someone else just for a sexual outlet? No. OTOH, STBXH told me years ago that he felt that if the above scenario happened, he thought it let him out of the 'forsaking all others' part of the vows because I would not be able to fulfill that part of the contract. Since sex is just one facet of many that make up a love relationship as far as I'm concerned, but one that I take VERY seriously in terms of exclusivity, his statement always laid there in the back of my mind. I could never feel totally secure, knowing that he'd 'jump ship' so to speak even if it meant that I wouldn't be able to have sex, either. We wouldn't be making the sacrifice together and finding another way to express intimacy together. I could envision myself paralyzed, watching him walk out the door to go 'have his needs met,' waving bravely.
I guess I feel like, if everything else goes out the window if I'm no longer able to f- him, well, then, F HIM!
So, to answer your question, Yes, I think you can have a marriage without sex. Just as you can have sex and a sh!tty marriage.
Elsewhere in other threads I have explained my personal problems, but here I would like to raise a more general question:
- Consider you do have sexual desire;
- Consider you cannot satisfy your sexual desire with your husband/wife (many forum participants claim they do not get sex from their partners, in my case I have reached to the point where I no longer want sex with her because of persistent refusal during a long period of time);
- Question A: is life without sex possible?
- Question B: is it feasible/reasonable to keep the marriage alive?
- Question C: can you indeed call marriage a relationship without sex?
Your views, please
A. No. I become very moody and grumpy when I do not have enough sex and that would keep others away. Humans need some sort of human interaction.
B.My husband already knows that I will not stay in a sexless marriage. It is too important to me to give up.
C. A marriage that has not been consummated can be annulled, because of what sex signifies in a marriage. A spouse who won't have sex is a roommate.
No my friend, sex is NEVER free, not for men anyway. There is ALWAYS a price to be paid.
We all do things for selfish reasons. Even the most anonymous act of kindness is done because it makes us feel good to have done it, even if nobody else knows about it. So in terms of sex, if you're implying my GF has a price for providing me with sex, that there's something I provide her in exchange, it's a price I'm gladly and unknowingly paying.
Perhaps you hang out with the wrong women? My GF has a sex drive as high as my own. Whether that stays, who knows. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.