It is not about sex - it is about love. So ask yourself this instead: Am I willing to stay married to someone who does not love me in the truest sense of the word.
And over time - sex isn't about lust - because even for people who stay fit - lust fades a decent amount over a long marriage.
Last night I came home from being away 2 weeks on business. My wife had a really rough time (our eldest child did some really bad stuff while I was gone) during my trip. I tried to be as supportive and kind over the phone as I could while I was away.
I get in last night - and I am physically craving her. She seems a bit uncomfortable though so I ask and it turns out she has this inflammation thing going on - combination of menopause and stress. So she is feeling zero lust. And I look her in the eye and say "babe - I know you are uncomfortable - I can chill for a few days or I can take care of myself in the bathroom (note: I never do that - like literally once in the last 3 years - I save all my energy for her).
I am thinking - she is depressed about daughter - and she has a painful inflammation. No way are my needs more important than hers.
She just smiles and says I want to please you a different way - and I WANT to ok - so just lay back on the bed and let me have my way with you. And I did so she could.
But if you think about what happened - we BOTH put the other first. Completely. And if I had sensed that she was acting out of a sense of obligation I would have pretended to be too jet-lagged to perform. But if she had acted indifferent to my needs - after 2 weeks - I would have been hurt. And if that was her normal mode of behavior - it just wouldn't fly.
A wife who is indifferent to her husbands intense sexual frustration, feelings of rejection, and loss of self esteem, is a very bad wife.
Elsewhere in other threads I have explained my personal problems, but here I would like to raise a more general question:
- Consider you do have sexual desire;
- Consider you cannot satisfy your sexual desire with your husband/wife (many forum participants claim they do not get sex from their partners, in my case I have reached to the point where I no longer want sex with her because of persistent refusal during a long period of time);
- Question A: is life without sex possible?
- Question B: is it feasible/reasonable to keep the marriage alive?
- Question C: can you indeed call marriage a relationship without sex?
Your views, please