Re: Beta male needs help becoming Alpha male B4 the impending sex argument
Emotional connection and sexual attraction are intertwined, so to do these behaviors to create sexual attraction is the usual place to start, and the emotional connection between the man and woman will be in response to this attraction.
But before there is any sexual attraction or emotional connection, there must be respect.
This respect is missing from this scenario.
To repeat briefly already much correct advice in this thread:
1. Actions speak louder than words.
2. A woman is irresistibly attracted to the man in control of himself, and his environment, the dominant man. A woman will resent the man that is the opposite of this, the "weak man".
3. The good man is not afraid to confront his woman. In fact, confrontation is actually the good thing, as it is the opportunity to show in behavior dominance. For example, if there is some disagreement between myself and my wife, it is nothing less than a practical guarantee that later in the evening there is passionate and aggresive sex between us, usually to be initiated by her, and in her words, because in some way or another I did not back down from her. Know also she has admitted to even stir up some little trouble just to create this scenario. So it is that a man that is standing his ground will win the respect of his woman, and a man that is avoiding confrontation will not have the respect of his woman. If there is not the respect, there is not the sexual attraction possible, respect is first.
4. The good man must have the attitude that he can "have any woman in the world, yet desires his woman". So it is in my marriage, my wife is knowing I see other women, and she knows very much my masculine sexual appetites, but also she knows how fiercely I show her that I desire her, and how jealous I am over her, and that I expect her to show me the sexual attention enough to forget about these other women, and she is secure and creative to make me indeed forget these other woman by her behavior. I am not dishonest, to lie and say "I do not notice other women". Insted, this is the attitude that I have, this is brutal honesty, that I am very much a man and I expect my wife to be very much a woman. There is nothing about some notion that it would even remotely be safe for our marriage if it was to become sexless, or if we were to neglect our affections for each other to just miserably endure. Absolutley not. This is maybe the "take it or leave it" mentioned already.
So these points are good to know. Also this, a woman that is not sexually attracted to her man is insecure about something, and this is causing her to withdraw. In the woman, there is either sexual attraction, or insecurity. Either one or the other, but always one or the other.
Consider she is feeling somehow to let you down, or let down her children because of the medical issues, or maybe she is feeling less the woman because of these things, or overwhelmed, or not attractive to you or anyone. Or maybe she is needing you to step up in some area or another, to take ownership in some area of the relationship.
Know this, even though you may beg or plead for sex, or use words to say "you are attractive", it is actions that count. If you are not the man to stand up to your woman, to insist to her to stop neglecting her responsibilities to you as a man, then your behavior tells your woman this "She is not sexually desirable to you" and "she is not worth it to you to fight for".
Instead of telling your woman this, step up to take the courage and risk, do not avoid the confrontation but relish the opportunity to show her in actions, not words, how desirable she is to you as a woman.
These things, to be "alpha" and "dominant" and "man up" and anything else, is really just this one thing, to be strong enough and honest enough to show in behavior how you are really feeling. This is what a woman is looking for in her man.
I wish you well.
Last edited by BigBadWolf; 02-11-2010 at 06:03 AM.