My husband IS one of these men, and I find little information about this in books, the net. Because I personally love the idea of being Dominated in bed myself, I have explored, sought answers to how to change/mold him into this Alpha Dominant male as others may have graced my posts & struggle. He may not be my total fantasy, but He IS enough & we are GOOD together. Thankfully I am naturally
aggressive & dominate in & out of the bedroom, but I can stand to learn alot more. And be more comfortable in these shoes to make it better for both of us.
I now want to concentrate on exploring how to TAP into what some of HIS Fantasies might be or other men LIKE THIS, he is not much of a talker, but is up for anything, so here I am asking. I just want to better
understand THE MIND of a male who WANTS/DESIRES this. This will also help me be more secure
in going these places with him.
I have come to the conclusion this has MORE to do with fantasies & sexual preferences than any discussion about WEAK men, men who need more aggression to get by in life successfully or what you may find in such books as "No more Mr. Nice Guy" , "Hold on to your Nuts" , Alpha Male books.
I have went to amazon & read reviews of such books, some feel it is too black & white on it's theology of feeling ALL men are like these stero-types. Even though I have NOT read them, I do not feel it would help me or him to read anything that will make him feel LESS than normal, or wrong for the way he thinks, acts or desires.
I have felt a sinking feeling sometimes reading such posts (sorry Big Bad Wolf) feeling I am DOOMED as a wife because I can NOT change my man into this Fiery Aggressor who will grab me, throw me down on the bed, rip my clothes off in passion & talk dirty to me all night. (I am exaggerating of coarse).
Not sure IF these books even mention Sexual Fantasies and what turns some men on ??---this is what I am seeking here with this thread. I would guess that these books DO NOT mention such men, since their emphasis is on BEING in charge, the persuer of all things. My husband IS a responsible man who is mentally stable , financially well off , a good father, has friends, close family and we have a satisfying sex life.
About him , he has always been attracted to "mean" women, I have always laughed at this-he is the complete opposite of this, sweetness incarnate, quiet, compliant, patient.
In bed He wants ME on top , He LOVES it when I initiate, He loves when I do anything -putting whatever in his face, He is just more in his glory if I take the lead
. Once I was fighting with him, had his hands pinned, I was ontop , mad look on my face & he tells me "you're not going to like this but you are turning me on".
He is strange sometimes. Just trying to figure him out. He is outside the box.
If you know of any books touching on this subject , please do share (again, not about being an Alpha Male but about prefering a dominant women IN BED/fantasies). The only thing I have read in a book so far is 'Sheet music" , it compares 2 men ---
"Ted wants his wife to be the sexual aggressor. He loves it wen she pushes him over & jumps on top; it's the most thrilling thing he's ever known to watch his wife actively take part in the sexual act and actually work to find the postion where she receives the most stimulation. And when she's expressive about how good shes feeling , Ted can barely contain his excitement".
THIS IS MY HUSBAND 100% Anyone else on here -do you fit this description?