Re: Male sex drive
Well done. You have immediately grasped the hardest theme - which is to look first in the 'mirror'.
Before proceeding I will just add this. I don't reject my wife because: I know that is hurtful and because she is willing to slowly get me super turned on.
If she got in bed and kissed me, expecting I would automagically get hard as a rock without her doing anything else - epic fail. I would reject her. Some stuff that has worked great for us.
A gentle suggestion:
1. Write down a list of his:
- turn ons and
- turn offs
And ask yourself how much effort you put into the turn ons, and whether you also make a real effort to avoid the turn offs. Many turn offs are not explicitly sexual. For example complaining, being highly critical etc.
2. My wife taught me two games early on that we never tired of:
- I touch/you touch
- better one/better two
"I touch/you touch":
He massages you the way he wants you to massage him. And then you switch places and he gives you a little feedback to refine your technique.
Better one/better two:
This is where you do something in terms of a massage stroke and then do a small variation on it. You do the first and ask "better 1"? and then the variant "better 2". This could be:
- different direction - vertical/horizontal/diagonal
- Knuckles/finger tips/finger nails
You play these games for a while and you should both become experts in how to give each other an incredible experience.
Once relaxed an inner thigh and/or butt massage can be a huge turn on. The thing is - that should happen after enough non-sensual/vanilla massage touch to relax your partner.
If he responds well to this - you can amp it up. I touch/you touch allows for some fairly intense communication. Let him show you on your finger how he would like you to ....
And you can use his nipple to show him how you best like to be pleasured.
QUOTE=Ariel71;3867378]Wow, these responses are really getting me to thinking that I am probably more of the problem than he is, lol. I agree with the gentleman that said insecurity is unattractive, that's probably true. I also know I can be difficult at times, so maybe this is his reaction after all these years? He was hd for years and I pushed him away a lot back them, had little ones and worked swing shift so was always tired. Food for thought!
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