I did a search on anal sex in this forum, and seems like there's alot of people on here who enjoy it alot with their wives...so I thought this would be a good place to get some advice on the topic, and my wives problem with anal sex.
First off, my wife isnt the one to initiate sex..I would say I initiate 98 percent of the time...she always goes through with my initiation though, never turns me down, but often doesnt show much or any enthusiasm about sex until we're actually doing it, then she loves it, as long as I am giving it to her...she will rarely take the initiative to do stuff to me, usually I ask for it either by asking, or jokes, or body language.....other than wanting her to initiate more, my problem is anal sex with her..
First time that I touched her anal area she enjoyed it...but I maybe was too persistent (anal sex with a woman has been a life long fantasy of mine, I go crazy for a womans booty..especially my wifes-its real nice) I wanted to have more and more anal activity with her...she was always a bit hesitant..it was a bit painful for her...so I screwed up..even though I used alot of lube...I may have pushed it too much too soon...so we had some pretty bad experiences with anal sex..pretty frustrating nights...so we gave it a break for over 6 months...then with a much more patient approach than the first time we decided to try again...with a different lube..this time I've been taking it even slower and constantly asking how it feels and if I can go a step further or not...if she says no as frustrated as I feel I dont show it...and we stop...sometimes I only play with her anus for a while..usually she doesnt like that too much...although she enjoyes it when I lick it...overall she is just scared of the pain of my penis going inside her that way...so for over 2 months we have had no anal sex...and when I ask her about it now she always seems hesitant about it..but she knows that its something that I think about alot...so she says ok sometimes...but says "just not today"...so I get it...I pushed it too much at first in our marriage...over 2 years later...after trying about 20 times she enjoyed it two times...so its not really her thing...but I cant stop thinking about it...she says shes willing to try again..but I wonder when...sometimes I have said let me know when your ready...I wait for weeks but nothing...so do I just completely stop anal activity with her? Maybe not even do it orally anymore? Maybe she'll miss it one day?
thank you for any advice..
Coming from a female...
It is ALL about the positioning and comfort. I highly advise against doggy style!! Side-by-side (or spooning as RH suggested) is hands down, the best position. Let her move back and forth so that she is in charge of the depth. Truth be told, I've never experienced pain using this position.
As the others have stated, and I'm you sure you know, anal sex can be verrrrryyy painful and kind of scary when not done right. Unfortunately, in my experience there is a fine line between right and wrong for this. It's either good or AWFUL.
Spooning = no pain for me. Doggy style = let's just say, if the first time I did anal was doggy style, I would have never ever tried it again.
Unfortunately, if your wife had a bad experience, she may not be open to it for a while. The number one thing that has to be present in order for it to be a good experience is relaxation on her part.
This may be a little too personal, but do you use fingers down there? If not, maybe you should try. If you do, try gauging her reactions to this. Slowly, maybe try using more fingers to... ahem, loosen her up.
If she is TOTALLY not into anal stuff right now, I'd say back off for a little while (maybe a few weeks?) then slowly work it back into the mix.
And if all else fails, if you guys partake in drinking every now and again... maybe you can loosen her up with a couple drinks?
I'm not saying to take advantage of her, buuuuuttt I do know that it will take the edge off!
Personally, the hubby & I tried it about 10 times. He didn't like it as much as he thought he would so he kinda got over it and doesn't ask for it anymore. Before his A, I'd give it to him if he wanted it, but it wasn't my favorite thing ever!